“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” —Mohandas K. Gandhi
78.4 years isn’t much time.
Even at my age, I can feel the pressure to pack my life full of activity and maximize my time by doing all I can.
In school, we’re encouraged to join as many clubs as possible to make the most of our educational experience. At work, it’s expected that we’ll be uber productive and take on more and more responsibility. Even at home, there’s a never ending to-do list of things that need maintained, fixed or upgraded.
And we go on living as if there’s nothing wrong with this system. As if the natural progression of humankind is to become the most efficient life form on earth.
If there’s nothing wrong with this system, then why are so many people unhappy? Why are so many on medication to control anxiety, stress, and depression?
Isn’t this a more telling sign of our “progression” as a species?
All this busyness has overloaded our minds. And we walk around with this nagging sense that there’s something we forgot to do. Or we feel guilty when we actually do take time to do nothing, be lazy with some friends, or watch a worm inch its way across the sidewalk.
There’s just no rest; no sense of completion. Ever.
And its eating away at us from the inside. Making it impossible to find a reason to smile, or be joyful, or just be.
But life doesn’t have to be so crazy. The craziness ends when people embrace the alternative: slowing down.
Slowing down is radical in this day and age. An age where…
…we burn with frustration if a website doesn’t load instantly.
…we think taking a nap is a sign of laziness.
…we check our email, facebook, twitter 15 times a day.
…we eat instant oatmeal for breakfast, frozen meals for lunch, and order takeout for dinner.
…we lose sleep over an upcoming deadline.
…we even take our own lives because the pressure to perform is too much to handle.
Breaking these habits can be difficult. But why is that?
We fear that something bad will happen if things don’t get done. To calm that fear we work harder, and longer, and harder, and longer only to realize that there’s more to do.
It never ends.
If you’re tired of the grind, let me suggest you step back and take an honest assessment of what needs to be done. Letting go of the compulsion to do all things can be an awesomely liberating high. Simply choose what’s most important, and do that. Even simpler, choose to do the things you are passionate about, and drop the rest.
If life in the slow lane appeals to you, here are some easy steps to escape the rat race and enjoy a slower, simpler, happier life:
- Choose 3 things to accomplish each day. I know, you could probably come up with a list of 100 things, but don’t. Keeping the list this size will force you to decide what’s really important. When you finish the list, the rest of the day is yours to relax. With this approach you’ll be completing 21 important tasks a week. If you have more than that, seriously reevaluate your commitments.
- Learn to say “no.” Stop taking on more responsibility. That’s what got you reading this article in the first place. Sure, volunteering is a noble way to spend your time, but stretching yourself too thin can rob you of joy. And the world needs joy more than anything.
- Be unproductive. Even if you can only manage 20 minutes a day at first. Don’t read anything to further your career or impress your friends. Do something useless like skipping rocks across a pond. Or making mud pies with your kids. Or climbing a tree. Dig back into your memory bank, because most of this stuff is stuff you probably did as a kid.
- Only check your email twice a day. That includes twitter, facebook, stocks, sports scores, blog stats – anything. Checking these sites can become an addictive habit which steals time you could spend doing stuff that actually makes you happy.
- Embrace quality over quantity. Instead of joining every organization, subscribing to every blog, or taking every opportunity you get – try doing fewer things, but choosing the ones that really add value to your life. Pick 3 or 4 blogs and follow them closely. Choose one organization making a difference, and support them. Embracing quality over quantity will make your life less stressful and your experiences more satisfying.
- Find a hobby. Try something new, you don’t have to be good at it. As long as it excites you and taps into your creativity. Try these: yoga, rock climbing, running, wood work, surfing, reading, blogging, gardening, chess, painting, making music.
- Spend time with people you love. This is it, the one piece of advice I’d give you if I could only give you one. Relationships form the backbone of a purposeful life. Sharing secrets, fears, and hopes with another human is the surest way to slow down and enjoy life. Without close contact with other people, we grow into cold, lonely beings. Make time every single day to spend with loved ones, and you won’t end up with a single death-bed regret.
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Editor’s Note: This is a guest post by Mike Donghia.
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Dranky says
Great Post today I got a lesson from internet.
Erin says
I find your site to be one of the only worth my time daily!
Jim says
Great post, As I sit here in my bed on Sunday morning, and allow my children and grandchildren to sleep in! My wife has already ask me what I was going to do today, and make sure everything got accomplished with the family. The Holidays have been great, and I’m on purpose going slow into the new year!
Jill Farmer says
LOVE this.
Very in line with my life’s passsion—teaching people to step off the the hamster wheel and into a life of meaning and joy.
Bravo!
Jill Farmer
Author of “There’s Not Enough Time… and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves.”
http://www.jillfarmer.com
Elizabeth says
I love my naps. I love to curl up with a book. I have a relationship with my husband to work on, 3 young kids to love and bring up, a house full of pets to care for, a house to clean, a job to keep, friends to see, a parent to care for, volunteer obligations to meet…but I love my naps! The work will ALWAYS be there. The love and opportunities to play, nap and read will NOT! So…take the nap!
Tim says
Incredibly insightful post. I can’t tell you how much this piece resonates with me.
Pam says
Agreed!
Karen @ Journey towards simplicity says
Being in the fast lane can deprive us of noticing, enjoying, and even experiencing the current moment. Thanks again for yet another post validating simplicity and NOT glorifying busyness.
Robyn says
I had the benefit of a dad who worked at home raising cattle and selling used farm equipment. He lived his life without getting caught up in the rat race. He enjoyed each day to the fullest and always made time to literally smell the roses or marvel at the birth of a new calf. I talked to him 3 nights before he was killed in a tractor accident on his farm. His last words to me were: when Momma calls you one of these days to say she’s found me dead under my tractor, don’t be sad. I had the perfect life and wouldn’t change a thing. I became determined to follow his example. We never allowed our children to be in more than 2 extra curricular activities. Sundays were for church and family. No company, no going anywhere, no talking on the phone. Family dinners at least 4-5 nights a week. Playing with my kids was more important than a perfect house. I have regrets but fewer than many I’m sure. We’re now retired and make plenty of time to smell the roses.
Laura says
I recently resigned from a company I was with for 21 years. The last two years, being the most challenging to simply get there. I have not taken another job but rather am taking time for myself right now. I have been surprised at the number of times in a day where I feel I have to be doing something and feeling uncomfortable with just being. This revelation has been a source of introspection and hopefully a guiding force for what comes next. Your post is timely. Namaste.
DONNA says
I am so happy I found your website…….I don’t have anything profound to say at the moment ..but I did want to say that I was in tears at the end of this post because I have been so anxious this morning about what I ‘needed’ to accomplish today…My BF once asked me ..’you don’t know how to relax ,do you ?’…guess he was right