Editor’s Note: The following is a guest post by Farnoosh Brock of Prolific Living.
“He who would travel happily must travel light.” —Antoine de St. Exupery
The Case Against Minimalism
When I first heard about minimalism, I became very defensive. I wanted to ‘protect’ my material world. “No thank you, I love my stuff. I’ve worked hard for years to accumulate every single piece. And I’m planning to hold on to them!” That’s what I silently said in response.
I salute all of you advanced minimalists out there but the idea of a minimalist lifestyle and a small home terrified me. And so I promptly forgot about it and went about my business.
Except that I couldn’t forget. Minimalism was happening all around me. The personal growth world had gotten hold of this notion of “less is more” and was not about to let go anytime soon. Becoming a minimalist was the latest trend and the biggest buzz in town!
And that terrified me even more. I started to grow “allergic” to the word minimalism and avoided anything and everything about becoming a minimalist.
But at least I felt safe and protected in my home. Until, that is, my husband picked up on the trend and was soon sharing his new ideas on how minimalism would revolutionize our lives.
“We don’t need to collect any more stuff, honey! We should now focus on collecting memorable life experiences instead. That’s what lives in our hearts and travels to the end of time with us. You know?”
Huh?
That’s very romantic, babe, I thought to myself, but I still want what I want which is swimming in a big fat shiny material world and nobody was going to change my mind about it, not even my soul-mate.
So it was obviously time to take out the big guns and put up my big guard against this whole minimalism business.
I had to protect myself. Everyone, it seemed, was out to strip me from my cherished, material things and to convince me that shopping for new clothes, beautiful shoes, and fancy makeup was a waste of time and money. And I wasn’t about to have any of that.
Becoming an Accidental Minimalist
And then something very peculiar happened.
My good friends Dan and Vanessa launched a podcast called “Simple life Together“ and I innocently tuned in. The idea of simple living drew me in like a magnet. It didn’t scare me like minimalism – in fact, initially, I didn’t draw the connection between the two at all.
I totally embraced this simple living concept. I started organizing my closets, donating my books and going paperless, and I loved it. And for some strange reason, my husband couldn’t be happier! “Thank you Dan and Vanessa” he would say over and over!
Then a few months later, I was vacationing in Chile and naturally, we went shopping. Or maybe I persuaded my hubby to take me shopping, I can’t remember which. Anyway, here I was, in this gorgeous shopping mall in the heart of Santiago, and I couldn’t bring myself to buy anything!
This resistance to shopping persisted to the very end of our trip and I left Chile without buying a single thing—which in my book is seriously abnormal. But I comforted myself. I was saving up for Istanbul, I reasoned, which was going to be my big shopping spree of the decade!
And to my utter shock, the same thing happened during my Istanbul trip. I was in the middle of the Grand Bazaar in the heart of one of the greatest cities in the Middle East, with money and time… and absolutely zero desire to shop.
On several occasions, I came ridiculously close to buying something following a bout of negotiation even my Dad would be proud of. But then I would just lose interest and have no desire to go through with the transaction.
I can’t tell you how baffling this felt. It felt as if I had traded my old self with someone else and I was watching in horror what this new person was doing, and wondering what on earth had happened to my old self.
Just for good measure, when I came home, I drove by myself to pick up some make-up. Nobody to bother me or to rush me. Nowhere to be but in the aisles of makeup after makeup with a long shopping list. All the time in the world to choose gorgeous new expensive makeup … and I walked out with a tiny lipstick!
That, dear friends, is how I became an accidental minimalist!
Your Inner Voice on Minimalism
I admit, it feels strange when a subconscious part of you drives your behavior and messes around with your inner desires. But it also feels good. And right to some extent. That subconscious part is our inner wisdom guiding us gently toward the best decisions of life as long as we listen and pay attention.
I am so glad I listened.
I did not intend for any of this to happen.
In fact, I had every intention to shop, to buy, to spend, and yet when push came to shove, I had lost all interest in doing so.
And now I get it. It feels good. It feels good to not buy, to not shop, and to not worry about what to buy and where to shop and instead, to simply go without. In fact, it feels better than what you feel an hour or a day after you buy something, you know, the low after you’ve come down from the high of shopping, the unfulfilled desire nudging you to go out and shop some more to feel better, the never-ending cycle of high-low from never quite having bought enough.
So for now, I am letting this accidental path take me along. Now, I can finally appreciate living simpler, living with less, and being all the better off as a result.
Now I understand the irony that our stuff, which was supposed to bring us happiness and joy, finds a sneaky way of trapping us. And our freedom, which we cherish and protect so much, gets silently trapped in all the mess.
Unless we pay attention because true freedom, it turns out, is in the intangibles that we can’t see or touch but feel. The stuff that we can’t put on shelves, but we can put in our hearts. And there, it can stay safely for a long time without taking up much space at all.
So I have lowered my guard, I have accepted the truth of this higher self which apparently knows me so well, and while I am far from calling myself one, I can honestly say that I am loving the path of becoming a minimalist.
What about you? How did you fall into minimalism? Was it with intention? Or do you have an accidental story to share? Let us know in the comments!
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Farnoosh Brock left a 12-year corporate career to start her own company, Prolific Living Inc. She is the author of several books including her latest, The Healthy Juicer’s Bible. You can also find her on Twitter or at her weekly podcast, The Daily Interaction.
Katherine says
For me it’s having a toddler who is capable of finding everything I try to hide from her and turning our apartment into chaos within 5-10 mins from the time she opens her eyes in the morning. I am just sick of cleaning up, dusting and organizing and have no time for that anymore after having a kid. I don’t think I wana waste my precious ME time organizing junk that costs me space and money. Granted we do have a lot of toys and stuffed animals and a lot of toddler clothes but most of them are hand-me-down or gifts from my parents and friends.
Karen Liller says
Thank you very much for your article. Yes, it is a strange realization and coming to terms when you find that less is more. … and it just keeps on going. :) But I find I have to be careful not to make de-cluttering and living with less “my life” (it’s easy for it to become such a passion that it becomes the main focus or all spends time doing), but a part of my life, the way I live and continual improvement of my life. Pacing oneself after the first big push allows for continued gratification in the act of simplifying. Strangely, I find I become impatient in it and want to be done with it so that I can move on to something else. Then I remind myself that the rest of my life is waiting for me and that balance is the key.
Karen
Farnoosh says
Karen, what a wonderful point – no obsessing about becoming a minimalist. Very true :)! Thanks for the reminder for the rest of us too.
Cat says
Minimalism has always been in my heart. The older I have gotten the more I have realized the importance of being who I am….it is freedom! Just recently, I have truly begun to embrace who I have always been!
Farnoosh says
Cat, I love that – in your heart and it’s freedom. Beautifully said.
A says
It’s really interesting to hear about those who try and force themselves to purchase something, making it seem as though there is something wrong with them if they can’t.
I find it really inspiring to hear those who fell into this lifestyle. Sometimes the best things happen by chance, and you really weren’t expecting them to. You aren’t pushed so you take your time and adapt it to your needs and those around you. I also salute you on your courage to go against not only the people in mainstream culture, but also your own self. Most people don’t want to challenge themselves and try new things because it just takes too much effort in this drive though world. It has also taken me some time to accept that I won’t be like most of my other friends who in their early twenties eat out a couple times a week and buy all those life necessities. But to each his own!
Farnoosh says
It’s just the force of habit, you know? Nothing is wrong with them so much as they are used to thinking and doing that way. :)
Dijana says
Hi Farnoosh,
This is such a great post! I didn’t consider myself a minimalist since I’m not a big fan of – isms :-) but as I kept reading, I realized I am one. Like many of others here, it began accidentally. I moved to live alone after a long time and in the process of moving, simply threw away many stuff, mostly clothes. Since my family lives in the old apartment, I also left some things there, including piles of books, with the intention to pick them up later – but never did. I simply lost the need to own them ( and I confess that I discovered Kindle after long time avoidance). Now my place is so neat and floors are free except the necessary furniture that was already here since I rent the place. I’ve never had so little clothes in my life and I’m fine with it.
I noticed how minimalist your yoga room is and, as a pianist, couldn’t take my eyes off of that beautiful, black upright piano on the right. As I was doing yoga with you, all I could think of was how does it sound :-) I hope you are playing and enjoying it!
Farnoosh says
Hi Diana, tell me about it…. me too. I do love your story and so glad that you are happy with the results you are experiencing.
Did you watch one of my yoga videos? That’s my hubby’s piano. He’s the musician. I just goof off on my yoga mat ;)!
Selina says
I am at the start of my minimlist journey as stuff seems to run my life and suck up my time. I doubt very much I am going to be an accidental minimalist, perhaps it is how it will look in a few years time. Right now it feels like climbing Everest. It is so hard to do with a young family and a ratpack husband. I dream of simplicity and less stuff! layer by layer i hope to get there
Farnoosh says
Hi Selina, you are the intentional minimalist and I think that’s wonderful. And dreaming and first steps are how we all get started. I have no doubt you will peel off all those layers, my dear. All the best….
Shlomo says
Minimalism is always better when it is an option. For many, it is a way of life that borders on subsistence and poverty. So, as you refrain from unnecessary purchasing while abroad in exotic locales, remember there are many for whom ‘minimalism’ comes down to the choice between medication or food.
Minimalism as a choice, although trendy, is nonetheless commendable and I, too, seek its rewards. While attending a family function, my daughter described me as a ‘minimalist’, to which i replied “Well. Not so much. This was all your mother left me!”
Farnoosh says
Shlomo, that is totally and completely implied. It is a choice and an option that we decide to do, not a situation forced on us and having lived in some poverty during our immigration from Iran, I can relate.
Jonathan Look, Jr. says
I just one day had an epiphany, this “stuff” isn’t making me happy. Why do I have it. Then I started downsizing. Now I live a life of travel and adventure and can fit everything I own into checked luggage on an airplane. I just wrote a blog post about my two years of full time minimalist travel.
http://lifepart2.com/top-5-observations-from-my-two-years-of-minimalist-travel/
Farnoosh says
You are not serious? You can fit everything you own into a CHECKED luggage on an airplane? I’ll never be there but I salute you, Jonathan. But I’m mad about travel too! :)
Angela says
awesome guest post – I could relate to so many things!
Farnoosh says
Thank you Angela.
Karen says
I live in Southern Alberta where we have experience one of our worst natural disasters in our history. A massive flood that evacuated an entire town of 13000. Stuff is covered in mud and being thrown out by the ton! I bet some people are breathing a sigh of relief that they can now “let go” of some of the things they’ve been saving. Although our home is high and dry, both my husband and I have the urge to purge.
Farnoosh says
Sorry to hear that Karen. So sorry :(( I suppose that is one side of the matter, but it’s still a sad one. But the urge to purge is a good one. Follow it through!
Joanna Wong says
May be it is a good time to donate all the things that you do not need to those that were affected and need them. Win/win :-)