Almost everything worth accomplishing in life is difficult.
Think about it: a successful marriage, intentional parenting, a growing career… they all require effort and discipline to overcome obstacles.
Even smaller goals: staying physically healthy, living on a budget, or crafting a focused life are not easy in the world we live in. These lifestyle goals, which are certainly worth accomplishing, can be difficult and require purposeful living.
Most of the things worth accomplishing in life are difficult—at least, to some extent.
Because of this fact, it seems to me, there will always be stumbling blocks that stand in the way of us accomplishing meaningful pursuits.
A number of years ago I attended a conference that featured the world-renowned, critically-acclaimed, and prolific writer, Anne Lamott. During one particular Q&A session, Anne was bombarded with questions from aspiring writers struggling to overcome obstacles.
One such attendee (I remember vividly to this day) asked the accomplished writer this question, “How do I find time to become the writer I want to be? I am a new mother, tired and ragged, and I just can’t find the energy to write during this phase of my life. Should I wait until it passes?”
Anne’s response was swift, pointed, and memorable.
She replied, “Listen, there is always going to be an available excuse as to why you can’t do your writing. You are newly-married, or you have a young child. Next, you will have more than one child, or you will be parenting teenagers, or beginning a new career, or traveling too often, or involved in this or that. There will always be a reason why you think you can’t do what you need to do. The pursuit is to overcome these obstacles in order to realize what you are called to accomplish.”
I’ve never forgotten Anne’s words of wisdom that day. Anything worth accomplishing in life is going to be difficult. And there are always going to be reasons why you can’t accomplish it.
That’s why, it is vitally important to discipline ourselves to focus our thoughts on the reasons we can, rather than the reasons we can’t.
There’s not a doubt in my mind there are countless reasons you can’t accomplish what you most want to do:
You can’t get into physical shape because you don’t have the time, your body hurts too much, or it will take too long.
You can’t live within your means because you don’t make enough money, you’re supporting too many, or life has not been fair to you.
You can’t be a faithful, loving spouse because your partner has made it too difficult, you never had a proper model growing up, or you’re just too tired at the end of the day.
You can’t accomplish your greatest career goals because you’re not smart enough, you started too late, or other people are conspiring against you.
You can’t declutter your home and get your physical possessions in order because of this spouse, or those kids, or that family you grew up in, or your love for figurines means you can never overcome consumerism in your life.
As I said before, there’s not a doubt in my mind there are reasons why you can’t do any of the difficult things you want to do. And if you continue to focus on those obstacles, you never will.
However, I also know there are countless reasons why you can do exactly what you want to do.
And those who focus on the reasons they can are the ones who reach the mountaintop.
Yes, you can get in better physical shape. If you can still move your body, you can begin making strides in that direction. Sure, it may hurt at first. But others have turned their life around, and so can you.
Yes, you can live within your financial means. It’s going to take sacrifice and effort and discipline. But others have done it, so can you.
Yes, you can be a loving and faithful spouse. It’s going to require humility, a decision to love someone despite their flaws and imperfections, and maybe some outside advice and help. But others have done it, so can you.
You can accomplish your career goals. It’s going to require initiative, hard work, perseverance, and pushing through your personal boundaries every single day. But others have done it, so can you.
And yes, you can declutter your home and minimize your possessions. It’s going to require finding time to get started, internal reflection, and finding the ability to make hard decisions. But others have done it, and so can you.
Your most important work is rarely the easiest work. In fact, just the opposite is more true. Your most meaningful and significant work will be the hardest for you to accomplish.
Those who focus on the reasons they can’t will forever remain paralyzed by their pessimism.
But those who focus on the reasons they can, find hope and energy and perseverance. And in the end, they are most satisfied with the life they have chosen to live.
What significant goal are you pursuing in your life? Write it down somewhere. Now, just below that pursuit, write down all the reasons you know it’s possible to achieve. Think of the factors within you and the factors outside of you.
And then, for your sake and ours, focus on all the reasons you can achieve your most meaningful goals.
Because we all desperately need you to live your best life.
Jeanette says
Thanks Joshua, Just what I needed to hear. Thanks for this super inspiring post, it’s deeply touched my heart.
Evelyn says
Probably one of the best article I’ve read so far this year.
TONS of Truth, Insight & Motivation!
Now to put in the hard work of application…
Great Job Sir!!
Carole says
Oh so on point in my life right now. Thank you! And please keep writing!
Nancy says
Wonderful article, timely and needed in my life! Thanks ! Keep writing Joshua!
chris says
Great article. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with other family members things. My daughter and her 2 youmh children recently moved back home.Her things are everywhere. I’ve talked to her many times. She says she doesn’t have time (had a 2 year old and a 4 month old). Suggestions please?
Bethany @ Happily Loco says
Just off the cuff, it sounds like you might want to set some boundaries. She is living in your house. Maybe tell her that her stuff needs to stay in designated areas (her room, maybe have a kitchen cupboard for her, etc.) Maybe offer to baby-sit while she organizes her stuff. Or hire a baby-sitter while you both work on it together.
Janet says
Yes! I love this!
Karen says
Thank you for your wonderful writing, every post seems to be just what I need to hear. Blessings to you and your family!
Nancy says
This is what I needed to hear, but also brought up a question. What if we have several goals we want to accomplish? Should we work on one at a time? Is it better to be focused, or make baby steps toward several goals at once?
Ruchi says
Hi Nancy, I have several goals for my personal and professional life and make time to accomplish a part of each each day, even if it means going for a walk for 10 mins instead of the expected 60. That keeps me motivated. As time passes, the priorities change and sometimes the goals change too, so working on them everyday fills me up with a sense of accomplishment and self worth.
Bethany @ Happily Loco says
I think it depends on you and depends on the goals. If I am paralyzed, I will focus on baby steps. But sometimes, I am more motivated by a major overhaul. And sometimes I start out with a major overhaul, and have to scale back to baby steps in order to keep moving forward. I don’t think there is a “wrong” way to do it.
Bethany @ Happily Loco says
I think it is a huge issue in our culture, that people think that “difficult” is synomous with “impossible.” I overcame severe emotional issues through lifestyle choices and cognitive strategies (not medication), over the course of several years. It was difficult, but I did it. I left a “secure” job to move my family across the country to live on a boat, and then I recently left my “secure” job down here, because it was making me miserable. Facing the unknown is difficult, but it was infinitely worth it. I practice yoga daily, even though I have significant physical challenges that make it difficult. And I also have a respectable 5K time, in spite of issues with my legs. My most recent blog post was about overcoming emotional eating and working toward getting healthy, even though it was difficult. I am not trying to brag. I am nothing special. We can all do the things that are hard to do. We just need to see that we are worth it.
val caro says
nice! thank you for the motivation
— “those who focus on the reasons they can, find hope and energy and perseverance. And in the end, they are most satisfied with the life they have chosen to live.”