Almost everything worth accomplishing in life is difficult.
Think about it: a successful marriage, intentional parenting, a growing career… they all require effort and discipline to overcome obstacles.
Even smaller goals: staying physically healthy, living on a budget, or crafting a focused life are not easy in the world we live in. These lifestyle goals, which are certainly worth accomplishing, can be difficult and require purposeful living.
Most of the things worth accomplishing in life are difficult—at least, to some extent.
Because of this fact, it seems to me, there will always be stumbling blocks that stand in the way of us accomplishing meaningful pursuits.
A number of years ago I attended a conference that featured the world-renowned, critically-acclaimed, and prolific writer, Anne Lamott. During one particular Q&A session, Anne was bombarded with questions from aspiring writers struggling to overcome obstacles.
One such attendee (I remember vividly to this day) asked the accomplished writer this question, “How do I find time to become the writer I want to be? I am a new mother, tired and ragged, and I just can’t find the energy to write during this phase of my life. Should I wait until it passes?”
Anne’s response was swift, pointed, and memorable.
She replied, “Listen, there is always going to be an available excuse as to why you can’t do your writing. You are newly-married, or you have a young child. Next, you will have more than one child, or you will be parenting teenagers, or beginning a new career, or traveling too often, or involved in this or that. There will always be a reason why you think you can’t do what you need to do. The pursuit is to overcome these obstacles in order to realize what you are called to accomplish.”
I’ve never forgotten Anne’s words of wisdom that day. Anything worth accomplishing in life is going to be difficult. And there are always going to be reasons why you can’t accomplish it.
That’s why, it is vitally important to discipline ourselves to focus our thoughts on the reasons we can, rather than the reasons we can’t.
There’s not a doubt in my mind there are countless reasons you can’t accomplish what you most want to do:
You can’t get into physical shape because you don’t have the time, your body hurts too much, or it will take too long.
You can’t live within your means because you don’t make enough money, you’re supporting too many, or life has not been fair to you.
You can’t be a faithful, loving spouse because your partner has made it too difficult, you never had a proper model growing up, or you’re just too tired at the end of the day.
You can’t accomplish your greatest career goals because you’re not smart enough, you started too late, or other people are conspiring against you.
You can’t declutter your home and get your physical possessions in order because of this spouse, or those kids, or that family you grew up in, or your love for figurines means you can never overcome consumerism in your life.
As I said before, there’s not a doubt in my mind there are reasons why you can’t do any of the difficult things you want to do. And if you continue to focus on those obstacles, you never will.
However, I also know there are countless reasons why you can do exactly what you want to do.
And those who focus on the reasons they can are the ones who reach the mountaintop.
Yes, you can get in better physical shape. If you can still move your body, you can begin making strides in that direction. Sure, it may hurt at first. But others have turned their life around, and so can you.
Yes, you can live within your financial means. It’s going to take sacrifice and effort and discipline. But others have done it, so can you.
Yes, you can be a loving and faithful spouse. It’s going to require humility, a decision to love someone despite their flaws and imperfections, and maybe some outside advice and help. But others have done it, so can you.
You can accomplish your career goals. It’s going to require initiative, hard work, perseverance, and pushing through your personal boundaries every single day. But others have done it, so can you.
And yes, you can declutter your home and minimize your possessions. It’s going to require finding time to get started, internal reflection, and finding the ability to make hard decisions. But others have done it, and so can you.
Your most important work is rarely the easiest work. In fact, just the opposite is more true. Your most meaningful and significant work will be the hardest for you to accomplish.
Those who focus on the reasons they can’t will forever remain paralyzed by their pessimism.
But those who focus on the reasons they can, find hope and energy and perseverance. And in the end, they are most satisfied with the life they have chosen to live.
What significant goal are you pursuing in your life? Write it down somewhere. Now, just below that pursuit, write down all the reasons you know it’s possible to achieve. Think of the factors within you and the factors outside of you.
And then, for your sake and ours, focus on all the reasons you can achieve your most meaningful goals.
Because we all desperately need you to live your best life.
Chris Owen says
Well, finally we get a cop-out.
Not long ago I asked the question “how do you deal with a partner who cannot understand the point of minimalism?” (Well maybe not exactly those words.)
Imagine you have a partner or a family member who cannot stop buying clothes, or puts stuff down wherever he/she is when she stops using it. Imagine a partner who truly believes that the more clothes they wear, the better their image will be amongst their social contacts.
These people are addicts. They cannot stop. They buy and buy and buy, They see an advert for face-cream, and next day there’s a jar of it in the bathroom cabinet. They see a friend wearing a new style, and the next day they have bought it.
To say “yes, you can declutter your home and minimize your possessions. It’s going to require finding time to get started, internal reflection, and finding the ability to make hard decisions. But others have done it, and so can you” is utterly patronising and careless! NO! you cannot control an addiction in another person when you also have a job and a social life. They spend 8 hours a day making your house UNminimalist, and you just don’t have time to counter their consumerism.
I ask the question again: How do you persuade a consumer addict to change their ways?
So far, the answer would seem to be “dump them”.
M.T. says
Consider “Who’s Pushing Your Buttons?” by Dr. John Townsend. I’m finding it helpful.
sally says
You may not in this case have a minimalist house, IMO. You can however focus on what is within your control. So your possessions can be minimalist. It may or may not prove an inspiration to your family member.
Remember the serenity prayer (which works whether or not you believe in a god):
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Judy says
I feel sad for anyone who doesn’t.
Wendy says
Thanks! A very good and encouraging word!
Karen says
Very inspiring! Just what I needed to hear this AM! I am in the process of obtaining certification for my job and needed this motivation! Thank you.
secretgardencreative says
I love your voice.
Everytime I read something you have written I am grateful.
Thank you!
RL says
Thank you for this post. It struck to the heart of the matter. Anything worth having is worth the work. Do it. Regardless of what obstacles, or sped bumps, keep moving forward.
Tammy says
“Because we all desperately need you to live your best life.” This is a “theme” I keep coming across lately. Thank you for letting God use you to affirm it to me… again. :o)
Alexis says
One of my favorite articles yet. Very motivational, very true. Thank you
Debbie Mallette says
What a wonderful post. I will be keeping this one and re-reading it many times I am sure. Such honesty and inspiring words. Thank you!
Courtnee White says
Great post with motivation that I needed in multiple areas of my life right now also! Thanks! Great comments too! Like one person who commented, I also feel that I am working on goals and habits in multiple areas of my life right now, which isn’t the preferred way to learn new habits (according to some experts). But Kat Lee at the Hello Mornings Podcast has helped me think about what is the simplest form of that habit (such as drinking a glass of water forst thing when you wake up for your health habit or doing one yoga pose). We can grow the habit but also retain the space it has in our lives when it’s hectic or stressful. I am also a perfectionist who needs to think more positively rather than all the reasons I may not succeed at something. I am going to make my list right now and pray the Serenity Prayer: “God help me change the things I can, accept the things I can’t change and have the wisdom to know the difference, taking one day at a time….”
Debbi says
Beautifully said. Of course, I had a terrible time moving past the intense envy I felt when I found out that you were at a conference with Anne Lamont. I return to Traveling Mercies periodically and it never fails – it is magic for my soul. Once I read the post-Lamont section a second time, the wisdom of your words came shining through.
Susan says
It’s LAMOTT. ?