Is the Internet a net positive or a net negative for society?
This was our topic of conversation at a recent dinner party.
As somebody who has made their living on the Internet for the last eight years, and has seen its power to reach so many people with the life-giving benefits of owning less, there was little debate in my mind to the question above. But there were some who disagreed and a fascinating conversation ensued.
In the end, we decided it comes down to how an individual chooses to use the Internet—and what the future of the Internet might turn out to be.
But the conversation got me thinking that it might be helpful to share some of the lessons I have learned over the last 12 years of writing for the Internet on how to use it in a helpful way.
12 Rules for Navigating the Internet Intentionally
1. Social Media is a Stream. Use it Accordingly.
There’s a reason we call it a social media stream—the information never stops. To use social media effectively and to keep it from becoming a distraction, think of it as a river. You don’t jump in a river and try to experience all the water that has already passed. You’d never catch up with all of it. Instead, jump in, partake in the conversation, and then jump out.
2. Choose creation over consumption.
The Internet can be used as a powerful tool for good. It can also be a terrible waste of time. The biggest difference between those two outcomes is whether you are using the Internet to create or consume. Notice the difference and choose the former.
Watching endless cat videos or pranks on YouTube is consuming. While writing a blog, creating a video, sharing your opinion on Facebook, or encouraging a friend on Instagram are all examples of using the Internet to create a better world.
3. Realize that everybody is writing fiction about themselves.
The Internet has sped up the pace of comparison considerably. We compare the size of our homes, the model of our car, the beauty of our family, the vacations we take… even the food we eat nowadays.
When you see somebody’s picture on Instagram of their picture-perfect life, remind yourself again that nobody is living a perfect life. And social media is only a highlight reel of a person’s experience.
In many ways, the caricature we post online about ourselves is fiction—it’s only the story we want the world to see. Nobody is posting photos of themselves exhausted, sitting on a couch eating potato chips, but everybody does it.
4. Prefer substance over clickbait.
It’s helpful to remember that many websites make their income based solely on how many pageviews they receive. Advertisers pay the site owner an agreed-upon dollar amount per one thousand impressions (or CPM). Similar is a PPC ad (pay-per-click).
In both scenarios, the sole business plan of the site owner is to get as many people clicking onto (and within) their website as possible because each click results in income. They could care less if they are providing value as long as they are generating clicks.
To navigate the Internet effectively, prefer websites and articles that offer real substance, rather than clickbait headlines and stories.
5. Just because you can find the information online doesn’t mean you should.
One of the most beautiful aspects of the Internet is also the most dangerous. Literally any piece of information can be located online day or night, 24 hours/day.
Want to know the weather in Barcelona? You can find it in a few seconds. Who does your favorite sports team play next weekend? Easy. What’s your ex-girlfriend up to these days? Who starred in that one movie? What’s the price of tea in China?
Anything and everything can be known whenever you want. And this reality too often pulls us away from the conversations and people right in front of us. Just because you can find that piece of information anytime you want, doesn’t mean you need to (or even should). Sometimes it’s better to stay present in the moment—or let the debate die.
6. Find voices you trust.
There are many incredible minds posting content on the Internet in every available form: words, videos, photos, tweets, audio, plus others.
When you find a content creator that is helpful to you and challenges you in positive ways, remember their name and the website. Write it down or subscribe to their emails.
Some of my favorites are Leo Babauta, Ryan Holiday, Ann Voskamp, Seth Godin, and Brian Baumgartner. Find voices that you trust and enjoy, and then return to their work routinely—the fact that such amazing content can be found for free online truly is amazing.
7. Don’t be someone you’re not.
We let our kids open limited social media accounts when they turned 13. Many of their peers started on social media much earlier. But my explanation to them was always the same, “The minimum age to open an account on social media is 13. Sure, you can just lie about your age or click accept on the terms even if you aren’t 13 in real-life. But your first action on social media is not going to be a lie.”
Like I mentioned before, everyone is spinning fiction on social media. But it’s important to remain true to yourself and who you are both online and offline. A lie online is still a lie. Don’t be someone you’re not.
8. Remember that information won’t always soothe your anxiety.
I think information is great and almost always positive. But information still has its limitations. And information alone won’t always soothe your anxiety.
It’s certainly not wrong to research that one disease while you’re waiting to hear back from your doctor’s office about the test results. But just know that reading more about it probably isn’t going to soothe your anxiety—it might even make it worse.
9. Don’t argue politics with strangers.
If you want to increase your enjoyment of the Internet and life in general, stop debating politics with strangers. Talk with your friends, sure—and that can even happen online.
But once you start debating people that you don’t know in real life, it becomes far too easy to make negative assumptions about the other person and their character or motivation. Talk politics with people you know and love and trust… and you’ll be less likely to make negative assumptions about their motives or character.
10. Know that not every statement you disagree with is a personal attack on you.
Sometimes that social media post or news report had nothing to do with you—even if you disagree with it. Not every negative statement about your diet, your industry, your religion, your way of life, or your political party is a personal attack on you. And most of the time it’s just better to let it go and move on with your life.
11. You can’t believe everything you see on the Internet.
Websites can be faked, reviews can be faked, identities can be faked, news can be faked, photos can be faked, even videos can be faked these days. With the Internet available to everyone, almost everything on the Internet can be a fake—sometimes for fun, but sometimes by people with really, really bad motives. Verify, verify, verify.
12. Know when to take a break.
As Anne Lamott once said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” The last rule for navigating the Internet effectively is to take time away and do more things that make you forget to check your phone. The Internet is not life—and that’s coming from somebody who makes their living on it.
Those are my 12 rules for navigating the Internet intentionally. I think you will find them increase your enjoyment of the Internet considerably.
What would you add?
Lauren says
This post is worthy of consumption.
I would add that social media can also be a choice, not just to use it in a positive way, but to use it at all. I am not on it, not at all, because (1) I am a private person, and (2) I dislike it as an entity. I have no more interest in any of it than I do in wrestling or car racing. So even if I was willing to sacrifice my privacy for the sake of Pinterest, Instagram, FB and all the others, I am simply not interested.
Eve says
I’m trying to seek out sites that are positive these days. I like you tube hacks and uplifting movies and some of the older tv series that didn’t have an agenda. Learning how to do things is fun and reading free books from Amazon take up my spare time. I avoid FB and Twitter. I pick up the phone or text to connect with family.
I’ve had three blogs. Gardening on the gulf coast, I walk in green pastures and traveling on fumes about growing older. That was fun to do. The internet can be good or bad. Your choice.
Sandra Bryant says
This is some of the best advice I’ve read!! Thank you!
Sara R says
Loved this one. You are the type of blog and people on the internet that is worth reading and having constant emails from.
This life is already too stimulating, too overwhelming, and reading things like this makes me feel comprehended and also helps me put down all anxiety issues that make me feel overwhelmed.
Thank you for another great post. I appreciate it a lot.
Shannon Tessier says
All of this resonates. Really great content. Thanks!
Alba Rodriguez says
Excellent article!!!
Mary says
You are one of the voices I trust and that’s the miracle of Internet. You’re living in the US and I’m a French boomer : never had the opportunity to get in touch without Internet ! So grateful….
Elisa T says
Excellent rules! Thank you for expanding on each one.
Lisa Coons says
Thank you Joshua for this! I’m sharing it in all my platforms. Such good advice and in words I’ve been trying to find when explaining how social media can be used for good. The cat video thing is what bothers me the most regarding users of social media. Many do use it for consumption and not for productive means to benefit themselves or others. Mostly because I think people don’t feel confident to do so. Just merely taking time for sharing positive statements, quotes etc help the sharer feel productive, engaged. What we say can make a difference and speaking out about good things happening in our political climate, helping others, being positive and motivating others is all good stuff about social media, used wisely in a productive manner. Thanks!
Marlon says
Thank you for a very helpful article. May God bless you and your family!! Much love from Philippines
Rose says
I would add, Don’t count on the social media platform to protect you from false information or crime, even though they have ‘terms’ and ‘reporting standards’. I knew that people could steal your information and make-up things about you, but I always assumed that if it was reported, it would get handled. I recently joined Twitter and had a wonderful time following all kinds of educational things – space, maths, creative works, etc, but then I found that my name had been ‘mentioned’ in an inappropriate ad. I reported it according to Twitter’s terms. They did nothing. The ad is still out there. And we all know first appearances count when job hunting or meeting new people. If people who don’t know me search and see this, they’ll just automatically walk on by. I would have, because I did not know this could happen. And while my experience is nothing more than a minor annoyance, it’s still perturbing that it doesn’t get handled properly. I’m so tired and frustrated that horrible behavior is now acceptable behavior in our society. And all us Grandmas are just expected to suck it up.