I’m not sure who needs to hear this today, but in case it’s you who needs to be reminded:
There are no perfect people.
There are lots of people trying to better themselves and improve their lives, but none of them are perfect.
It’s important for us to remember that, because sometimes, from the outside looking in, it’s easy to think otherwise.
I was recently reading a magazine profile piece of a well-known family. It was in one of those magazines you’d find in a grocery store checkout—complete with beautiful photos of the family and their gorgeous home on the cover.
Based on the article, it would appear this family was picture-perfect. The home was immaculate. The marriage was honest, authentic, built on nothing but love. The children were impressive. Even the couples’ careers were taking off based on the author’s description.
It would be easy for someone reading the article to become quickly jealous and envious of the two in the article.
Because from everything written, it appeared, their lives were perfect.
But I know better. Oh, I don’t know the two in the article, but I know life and I know human beings well enough to know that their life isn’t nearly as perfect as it appears on the pages of this glossy magazine.
I know, when the journalist and photographer aren’t there, that the couple argues at times, the kids aren’t always behaved, and the kitchen isn’t always clean. Because I know people, I know each of them struggle with self-doubt, or pride, or selfish ambition, or fear of never measuring up to someone else featured in the same magazine.
That’s what life looks like—trials, temptations, mistakes, regrets, always falling a little bit short. That’s what life looks for me, for you, and everyone else.
Over the years, I’ve gotten to know quite a few well-known writers in the self-help field. They write fabulous books with wonderfully helpful ideas. But I think, at times, we can read these books and begin to incorrectly assume that each author has life entirely figured out.
Again, I can attest (firsthand this time), that is not the case. They struggle with the same issues as all of us—divorce, fear, addiction, pride, lack of discipline, just to name a few.
Now, that’s not to say their books aren’t helpful or true. It just means that nobody is perfect. Life never is.
Again, I don’t know who needs to hear this today. But I feel compelled to write it. It is too easy to get frustrated with our own life when we place others on a pedestal assuming they’ve got everything figured out.
Trust me, they don’t. Nobody is as successful as Instagram makes them look, nobody is as beautiful as filters make them seem, nobody is as disciplined as their writing describes them, and nobody is as put together as their social media portrays.
That being said…
I do know a whole lot of people who are working their tail off to become their best self.
They are working to declutter their possessions.
They are trying to become more intentional with their finances.
They are striving to be better parents, better spouses, or better mentors in their community.
They are working to overcome addiction or unhealthy habits.
They are studying in a field, developing a craft, reading books, or listening to podcasts in areas they desire improvement.
They are waking early or staying up late.
They are hitting the gym, changing their diet, or testing out the newest productivity hacks from the seminar they attended last month.
There are people in this world working hard to become better. They are not perfect, but they are striving to be better than the person they were yesterday.
And you should be one of them—no matter your current season of life.
You should strive for more.
Precisely because: There are no perfect people.
We all have room to grow.
Thank you Joshua, your pieces at least force us to think and ponder about certain aspects. You are absolutely correct while writing that ‘ all that glitters is not gold’, yet I would respond like this. Instead of being envious, people like me feel inspired. There are days when yoga looks monotonous to me, but when I see my favourite actor all of above 60 now,having shared her latest yoga video on Instagram, I get inspired. Not only this, I’m familiar with latest dressing trends etc which seem important to me to make life interesting, which otherwise maybe,wouldn’t be known to me. So I believe it’s the way of looking at things or one’s perception that matters.
Josha, Thank you for your constructive words. We have a local magazine that puts a “perfect family” on the front cover. Inside is an article that tells how successful, well educated and smart the children are. Even a sweet love story on how the couple met. Why on earth is this even done?? If they would ask my husband I to be on the cover I would turn them down. It is just so pretencious. I think the cover would be best used to highlight a business in our community that needs customers. Anything else would be better.
I don’t think I am sour grapes. It is just so fake. We all know that family has issues just like the rest of us. Thanks again Josha, for helping us all to realize we a valueable people, just like the people next door. Oh, my new motto is, “I don’t do perfect.” I try my best. But I don’t do perfect. Thank you!
Thank you Joshua for wisdom.
Are a Mr. Rogers fan? You remind me a little of him …..”It’s you I like.”
I admired his calm, kind, non-judgmental ways …. and that closet!
This reminds me of a poem I liked in high school.
Richard Cory
BY EDWIN ARLINGTON ROBINSON
Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Hello ! The French frog is there!
I love this article! It’s so true.
It’s so easy to envy someone when you see a great photo in a newspaper or on social media.
It’s so easy to forget what real life is.
Nobody is perfect. There is no such thing.
When we feel bad we can tell ourselves that life is really hard for us and not for others, but it is not.
Everyone has their weaknesses.
Maybe it’s easy to say it when you’re doing well, but ultimately: isn’t it the difficulty and the desire to improve that makes this life so rich?
I don’t know the answer but I have the weakness to believe so.
Thank you for your work.
Au revoir de France !
THANK YOU! Being a 72 year old female, it has been a life long pursuit of not trying to look like the cover of Vogue, or for that matter any other magazine. I have always walked to the beat of a different drum. I don’t believe that anyone in this life gets out unscathed or alive. It is simply, LIFE. You touched on so many wonderful points and really summed it up nicely. It’s so important to know that those articles in magazines are merely ways to make people want more, more, more. Keeping up with the Jones has never been fashionable to me…..and you sent a great message.
True. I know my life isn’t perfect, but it might seem really good to others, especially when I only put the fun stuff and good pictures on social media. I have a friend whom I admire.. she is petite and naturally thin and even stayed thin during her two pregnancies. She eats healthily. She has gorgeous, long, thick, wavy blonde hair, naturally super long lashes, has a boy and a girl and a sexy, loyal husband. They own a 60-acre ranch and have tons of friends. She has a PhD. So, in my eyes, she is as pretty as can be and as educated as can be and has a wonderful family and farm and manages a family business. Yet, I see pins on her Pinterest board about not giving up when you are not where you want to be yet, and I think, “what more does she want?” It’s human nature to not be satisfied, to compare, and to always want the next thing. We make ourselves unhappy.