I received great advice one time about keeping healthy habits during the holidays. The simple advice was this:
Never tell yourself you are going to diet after Christmas.
The reasoning made perfect sense when I heard it. If you tell yourself you are going to diet after the holidays, you are more likely to overeat even more during the holidays. “It doesn’t matter if I overindulge now,” we tell ourselves, “I’m going to lose it all starting January 01.”
Unfortunately, not only does that lead to rationalization and a lack of discipline during the season, the diet isn’t actually guaranteed to materialize in the new year. And oftentimes, it never does.
If overeating is a temptation or known tendency in your life, you would be far better served to embrace healthy and intentional eating habits throughout the entire season. And starting a diet afterward will be even easier if you’ve been practicing along the way.
Here are some other pieces of advice you might find helpful during this holiday season.
1. Be Careful of the Expectations You Set for Your Kids
As parents, we can be quick to overpromise during the holidays.
Sometimes we overpromise to keep their desires at bay: “Well, let’s not buy it now. Maybe you’ll get it for Christmas.”
Sometimes we overpromise to keep their behavior inline: “Make sure you’re a good little boy so Santa can bring you lots of presents.” (Other times we hang a cute little red elf in the house for the same reason.)
Sometimes we overpromise because we think it adds to the magic of the season, “And then we’re going to go to grandma’s house and open EVEN MORE presents.”
But when we do, we inadvertently set their expectations so high they can never be met. If they end with a list of twenty toys in their Letter to Santa, the reality of Christmas morning will always disappoint. Rather than giving them a magical Christmas, we’re left hearing the words, “Is that it?”
So work hard to set reasonable expectations throughout all of December and highlight the wonder of the season without focusing on what they are getting.
Read more about managing expectations during the holidays.
2. The End of the Year Is a Terrible Time to Blow Your Budget
It’s easy to justify overspending during the holidays. We want special memories, we want to prove we have money to spend, or we want everything to be just perfect for everyone. Sometimes we even set aside money all year long for this one season.
And if the money is available, I can see why you might want to spend it this time of year.
But if you’ve been working hard to live within your means for 11 months this year, blowing your budget at the very end of the year is a terrible idea.
The happiness from purchases always fades quickly. But the stress from your credit card balance will carry long into January (or even worse). You may feel very tempted to overspend to keep up with family or friends (or try to buy the perfect holiday for your kids), but your family doesn’t want you to go into debt this Christmas. In fact, there’s a good chance the gift they want most is for you to get out of debt.
3. Avoid Overdrinking
The holidays are filled with parties and celebrations, and it’s easy to overindulge. But over-drinking alcohol always leads to regret—whether in your words, actions, or health the next day.
4. If You Didn’t Need an Item Before the Holidays, You Don’t Need It Now
For 359 days of this year, you’ve lived just fine without that item you’re eyeing. If it wasn’t needed then, it’s not needed now. The season doesn’t magically create actual new needs in our life—it works instead to change our desires and expectations about what and how much we need.
Before you add something to your wishlist or shopping cart, ask yourself: “Does this item help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?” Because if the answer is no, it’s only distracting you from it.
5. Experience-Based Gifts Communicate Love More Than Physical Objects
The best gifts are not the ones that gather dust but the ones that create memories. And that’s not just a feel-good assumption, studies prove that to be true.
Research shows that experiences—concert tickets, a shared meal, a weekend getaway, even a coffee date with a friend—bring more joy and lasting happiness than physical possessions. Experiences deepen relationships and show thoughtfulness in a way that store-bought gifts often cannot.
This holiday season, think creatively about how to give the gift of time and connection. Whether it’s a cooking class together or a simple afternoon hike, experiences create lasting joy for both the giver and the recipient. Here are 99 other ideas.
6. You Don’t Have to Keep Every Gift Given to You
Every holiday gift comes with a decision to be made: Will this item add value to my life, or will it become another thing to store, clean, and organize?
It is helpful to remember two things:
- Gratitude for the giver doesn’t require keeping the item forever.
- Anything given to you with strings attached isn’t a gift, it’s a bribe—even if that string is ‘keeping the gift given to you.’
If you gave a gift to someone and found out later they didn’t want it, would you want them to keep it? Probably not. And in most cases, that is true of the person who gave the gift in the first place.
7. It’s Okay to Ask For Something You Really Need
We all know the feeling: someone asks for your Christmas list, and you scramble to come up with ideas. It seems the older we get, the harder it is to fill out those lists. Probably because the things we desire most can’t be bought.
But still, it’s easy to default to trendy gadgets, popular gift ideas, or things you’re only mildly interested in because that’s what everyone else is asking for or just because you want to be done filling out the list.
But what if, instead of following the crowd, you asked for something that would genuinely improve your life? Maybe what you really need is new socks, someone to babysit your kids, help with an overdue bill, or a plane ticket home after the holidays. These gifts might not be flashy, but they’re meaningful—and they show what you’d genuinely like to receive. The gift-giver might not follow your list, but it never hurts to ask.
8. Don’t Overpack Your Calendar
It’s tempting to say yes to every holiday invitation, event, and opportunity. After all, it’s a season of celebration! But overcommitting often leads to shallow experiences, stress, and exhaustion.
But a meaningful holiday isn’t measured by how many parties you attend or cookies you bake. Instead, it’s about keeping your main thing the main thing. So work hard to keep that as priority #1.
December is a wonderful time of the year. Let’s make it even better.
The adults in our family all agreed years ago to forgo gift exchange and instead gather for food and conviviality. We do provide gifts for the little ones. The gift of one another’s time and attention is the greatest gift of all. Because eventually, the curtain will fall, and time runs out.
Wow John, the last sentence in your reply really spoke to me. Thank you so much.
I can really get behind this perspective.
Having received my extremely high credit card bill for November, I decided I needed rehab with regard to ordering things, particularly Amazon. It’s SO easy. So I began on Dec 1st to begin a no-buy month. Have a calendar on the fridge annd every day without a purchase I get a star. A great reminder to keep me on track. Eight days in and have bought only food and needed meds or supplements. (We are in our late 70’s so those are really necessary.)
Decided elaborate decorations just weren’t worth the hassle so we have a favorite wreath on the door and that’s it. As for gifts, my family and friend circle have just about everything they want or need. So they get homemade gifts…my grandmothers Christmas cake. An old and cherished family recipe. And guess what. I’m happy, relaxed and stress free. This will definitely be a very merry Christmas.
My very religious, conservative inlaws were extremely offended when our kids were done with a large toy they were given (that we never asked for, they never expressed interest in, and were too large to even transport home in our minivan, so they had to piggyback behind us 150 miles and drive the items to our house). They gave us not one, but multiple of the same item. These things were big, heavy and a fall/topple risk to boot. We donated the items when our kids outgrew playing with them – at our kids’ request. They expressed offense both directly to our kids and to us, acting extremely put out about it.
We reminded them that a “gift” given with strings or expectations (to keep it, to return it to the giver, etc) is not a gift. It’s an obligation that the recipient never agreed to. We told them that over and over, and they couldn’t accept it. They continue to bring it up years later.
I feel like sharing your post here with them, but in their conservative mindset, children are obliged to parents regardless of whether those children are 50 years old and raising families of their own.
I’m on a really tight budget. I can’t afford a physical gift or an experience . Any suggestions?
Baked goods, spice rub, homemade vanilla (you can get quite a lot of beans for not too much), stovetop potpourri, homemade cocoa, cookie or brownie mix in a jar. These examples all take time, effort, thought, and are from the heart. If for kids, an inexpensive pair of cozy socks, a big bowl of popcorn and/or homemade treat with cocoa, and a day of board/video games and movies. My kids love doing this.
You absolutely can afford an experience. Check out a culture pass from your library. Mine offers to the zoo, historical society, kids’ science museum, conservatory/botanical garden, veteran’s museum, and more. An arts class at the community center together – often drop in classes are $5-$10 per person. A park date. A coffee date. A tea date. It can be at your house. Babysitting, pet sitting, housecleaning, prepare a meal and drop it off at their requested time. If you embroider, knit, crochet, do woodworking, metalworking, pottery, car maintenance/repair, home maintenance/repair, offer your services or a handmade item of their choice.