I’m not sure who needs to hear this today, but in case it’s you who needs to be reminded:
There are no perfect people.
There are lots of people trying to better themselves and improve their lives, but none of them are perfect.
It’s important for us to remember that, because sometimes, from the outside looking in, it’s easy to think otherwise.
I was recently reading a magazine profile piece of a well-known family. It was in one of those magazines you’d find in a grocery store checkout—complete with beautiful photos of the family and their gorgeous home on the cover.
Based on the article, it would appear this family was picture-perfect. The home was immaculate. The marriage was honest, authentic, built on nothing but love. The children were impressive. Even the couples’ careers were taking off based on the author’s description.
It would be easy for someone reading the article to become quickly jealous and envious of the two in the article.
Because from everything written, it appeared, their lives were perfect.
But I know better. Oh, I don’t know the two in the article, but I know life and I know human beings well enough to know that their life isn’t nearly as perfect as it appears on the pages of this glossy magazine.
I know, when the journalist and photographer aren’t there, that the couple argues at times, the kids aren’t always behaved, and the kitchen isn’t always clean. Because I know people, I know each of them struggle with self-doubt, or pride, or selfish ambition, or fear of never measuring up to someone else featured in the same magazine.
That’s what life looks like—trials, temptations, mistakes, regrets, always falling a little bit short. That’s what life looks for me, for you, and everyone else.
Over the years, I’ve gotten to know quite a few well-known writers in the self-help field. They write fabulous books with wonderfully helpful ideas. But I think, at times, we can read these books and begin to incorrectly assume that each author has life entirely figured out.
Again, I can attest (firsthand this time), that is not the case. They struggle with the same issues as all of us—divorce, fear, addiction, pride, lack of discipline, just to name a few.
Now, that’s not to say their books aren’t helpful or true. It just means that nobody is perfect. Life never is.
Again, I don’t know who needs to hear this today. But I feel compelled to write it. It is too easy to get frustrated with our own life when we place others on a pedestal assuming they’ve got everything figured out.
Trust me, they don’t. Nobody is as successful as Instagram makes them look, nobody is as beautiful as filters make them seem, nobody is as disciplined as their writing describes them, and nobody is as put together as their social media portrays.
That being said…
I do know a whole lot of people who are working their tail off to become their best self.
They are working to declutter their possessions.
They are trying to become more intentional with their finances.
They are striving to be better parents, better spouses, or better mentors in their community.
They are working to overcome addiction or unhealthy habits.
They are studying in a field, developing a craft, reading books, or listening to podcasts in areas they desire improvement.
They are waking early or staying up late.
They are hitting the gym, changing their diet, or testing out the newest productivity hacks from the seminar they attended last month.
There are people in this world working hard to become better. They are not perfect, but they are striving to be better than the person they were yesterday.
And you should be one of them—no matter your current season of life.
You should strive for more.
Precisely because: There are no perfect people.
We all have room to grow.
Kalli says
Thank you Joshua, for highlighting perfect and perfection.
I have enjoyed your articles over the past ten years because you are Brilliant, and you make us Shine. Shine on to all that have commented; you too are Brilliant for following these articles.
Patricia Smith says
Gratitude is all we need. To simply be able to have a new day to enjoy should be enough for us all.
Life is a gift. Enjoy it.
Megan Bilderback says
This is a great article. Takes me back to reality of the real world instead of my imagination. Everything is a illusion. All about IMAGE. Perfectionism is a issue in my life. Always been a issue all my life. So I struggle with it today. I grew up in a family that was very opinionated, critical, Judgmental, and “Perfect.” Furthermore, I became Anorexic, etc. Still struggle with Anorexia today. Can’t eat. If you think about it…. what is “Perfect”? Perfect may mean something different to another person then what you think it means. Everyone has their version of “perfect”, etc. We need to get the word perfect out if our vacabury. This society in this fake world is only going to get worse with time. Again, great positive article. We need more of that. Thank you.
Judy says
Megan, I am sad for you that you have this struggle in your life. I pray that you recover. God bless you.
Manuela says
Estimado Joshua, de verdad me encantan tus palabras. Becoming minimalist me ayuda un montón.
Gracias, desde la Patagonia Argentina
Manuela
Angela says
My daughter married a lovely man a few years ago.
A few weeks later she said to me, in front of him.’Mum, you don’t get everything you want in a man do you?’. I should add, her husband is a lovely man, very patient and gentle. I did tell her that that works both ways of course.
My son got married more recently, I told my daughter in law, if she was looking for perfect she would be disappointed.
I’ve never been seduced by glossy mags etc. You just never know what’s going on in peoples lives.
Great article Joshua
Anne Swanson says
Thanks so much for this article. I have found, that during this isolation, it’s easy to turn inward and see all the flaws and faults within ourselves. But I think this unusual time also gives us time to figure out what we really want and work towards some of those goals, one day at a time. Because each day is so much like the rest, it’s good to change one small thing at a time, and over the long haul, and it’s been a VERY long haul, we can do better.
Sara says
I’m sitting here in the salon getting my hair colored and I’m reading this with tears in my eyes!
It’s beautiful, it’s so meaningful and I am so guilty of these things! I’m always comparing! It’s not healthy. I need to change.
Thank you Joshua
Maria Pinto says
Thank you Norma, you said it perfectly! And Rosa, I am with you.
I turn 66 in a few months, I have battle scars from cats, surgery, varicose veins. They are a road map of my life.
Luckily growing up we didn’t have teen magazines in the house, and plastic surgery was almost unheard of. When I see a young teen/woman going under the knife I shudder, and feel for that person because they may sadly be on the road where they will never be satisfied with the beauty they were born with.
joan mckniff says
Some days, periods, maybe now, one doesn’t need to try each day to be/do better, closer to perfection. At that moment, day, situation my/you’re imperfect self and fine, pretty good actually. I’m not in a panic. Am moving, if at a crawl…
Gayle says
Thank you so much for this great essay!! With everyone in social media trying to portray their best self, it’s easy to forget that they also have a worse side. And if we can’t manage to achieve all that they seem to, perhaps it is because we are expending energy in other ways— raising children, helping our husbands, or whatever. I really enjoyed your Q &A video with your wife. Even though you were giving answers, it was very relatable to see how you had to work through some issues to come up with the answers. You are beautiful people, but it was good to see that you are still growing, too! ? As we all are.