I’m not sure who needs to hear this today, but in case it’s you who needs to be reminded:
There are no perfect people.
There are lots of people trying to better themselves and improve their lives, but none of them are perfect.
It’s important for us to remember that, because sometimes, from the outside looking in, it’s easy to think otherwise.
I was recently reading a magazine profile piece of a well-known family. It was in one of those magazines you’d find in a grocery store checkout—complete with beautiful photos of the family and their gorgeous home on the cover.
Based on the article, it would appear this family was picture-perfect. The home was immaculate. The marriage was honest, authentic, built on nothing but love. The children were impressive. Even the couples’ careers were taking off based on the author’s description.
It would be easy for someone reading the article to become quickly jealous and envious of the two in the article.
Because from everything written, it appeared, their lives were perfect.
But I know better. Oh, I don’t know the two in the article, but I know life and I know human beings well enough to know that their life isn’t nearly as perfect as it appears on the pages of this glossy magazine.
I know, when the journalist and photographer aren’t there, that the couple argues at times, the kids aren’t always behaved, and the kitchen isn’t always clean. Because I know people, I know each of them struggle with self-doubt, or pride, or selfish ambition, or fear of never measuring up to someone else featured in the same magazine.
That’s what life looks like—trials, temptations, mistakes, regrets, always falling a little bit short. That’s what life looks for me, for you, and everyone else.
Over the years, I’ve gotten to know quite a few well-known writers in the self-help field. They write fabulous books with wonderfully helpful ideas. But I think, at times, we can read these books and begin to incorrectly assume that each author has life entirely figured out.
Again, I can attest (firsthand this time), that is not the case. They struggle with the same issues as all of us—divorce, fear, addiction, pride, lack of discipline, just to name a few.
Now, that’s not to say their books aren’t helpful or true. It just means that nobody is perfect. Life never is.
Again, I don’t know who needs to hear this today. But I feel compelled to write it. It is too easy to get frustrated with our own life when we place others on a pedestal assuming they’ve got everything figured out.
Trust me, they don’t. Nobody is as successful as Instagram makes them look, nobody is as beautiful as filters make them seem, nobody is as disciplined as their writing describes them, and nobody is as put together as their social media portrays.
That being said…
I do know a whole lot of people who are working their tail off to become their best self.
They are working to declutter their possessions.
They are trying to become more intentional with their finances.
They are striving to be better parents, better spouses, or better mentors in their community.
They are working to overcome addiction or unhealthy habits.
They are studying in a field, developing a craft, reading books, or listening to podcasts in areas they desire improvement.
They are waking early or staying up late.
They are hitting the gym, changing their diet, or testing out the newest productivity hacks from the seminar they attended last month.
There are people in this world working hard to become better. They are not perfect, but they are striving to be better than the person they were yesterday.
And you should be one of them—no matter your current season of life.
You should strive for more.
Precisely because: There are no perfect people.
We all have room to grow.
Lauren says
Thank you for the reminder! It can be painful and humiliating to acknowledge the full breadth of my shortcomings, but being honest about these things enables me to seek out the best ways to respond to this truth.
Kay says
Thanks for sharing this. I remember a family in my neighbor I always envied because they seemed so perfect: the children, the home, the couple, they had so many friends. Then one day the husband hung himself in the garage. It shattered my image of this family I envied.
So now when I start to go down this road of envy, I remember this family and the pain they have endured.
Carla D. Newton says
Joshua,
I needed this article today. At 57 sometimes all I see are my mistakes that I’ve made over my lifetime. God’s grace is all that is perfect, and I need it every day.
Gayle says
AMEN!! ?
JuJu says
Carla, I do the same thing as well. I know looking back and having regrets is not really productive. It is hard to stop. I have a good life, but I do have regrets. I think we need to be thankful for everything we have. Good health, a roof over our head, a job, our husband and _____ etc. You can fill in the blanks. I should not preach, like I said I have regrets too. In fact I have made so many stupid mistakes in my life I wonder how I am still alive. But yet I have a good life. My biggest regret is that I married late and have no children. I really don’t like the holidays. I do try my best to enjoy my nieces and nephews and their children. But it is hard not to think. “This is what my sister has it isn’t mine.” I think we need to look forward and know we did the best we could and made the decision we made at that time in our lives. Think of the best things you did and the best experiences you had. Age doesn’t keep us from making mistakes, we do the best we can. I am 66 and I have got to look forward not back. It’s hard to not reflect on the past. I am still struggling with this myself. “Count my blessings.” I heard someone say once. “Sometimes it is good to have a bad memory.” (In other words forget the past hurts and mistakes.)
Rosa says
Perfectly stated. I hope a lot of younger individuals read this …. I’m 60. By the time you hit this age, you are well aware people are far from perfect including oneself. It is sad what social media, television, etc has done to younger people, especially the very young; setting them up for unrealistic goals from images that are false.
Maria Pinto says
Good article, Joshua. Perfection is an illusion, and the more some people constantly strive for it I feel the more unhappy they are. I feel it stems from low self esteem of your body image, of how big or nice your house and car are. The need to have everything just perfect can be a constant feeling of frustration and lack of self worth.
It is one thing to want to improve oneself but very unhealthy to feel that you never look good enough, your work doesn’t stack up,
your relationships don’t meet your rigid criteria.
I enjoy the little imperfections in my own body (which is unique), even my cat’s ear was snipped at the top because he was to be returned to the wild after being neutered, but I was lucky to be able to adopt and love his little special ear along with the rest of him.
This is what makes us unique and to embrace this philosophy is very freeing.
Katie says
Beautiful
Melissa says
Thanks so much for the reminder. For some reason like salt is in the seasoning, we all know this but we don’t let it sink down within our souls that others aren’t perfect, we aren’t the only ones struggling with XYZ. I am an instagram user and sometimes just log off because I find myself unconsciously comparing (They are my magazine glossy of today). Then the feeling of I can’t get it right, nothing is good enough, my photos stink etc harms me from crafting a skill, picking up a hobby because unintentionally I believe the lie. They have thier good days and bad days like every other human on earth, no matter their status, wealth or lack of it. Thanks for the Perspective lens reminder to change the forecast to, no one is perfect lens for when I log on. I needed to reread it and say it out loud :) God bless you and your family:)
Kari says
I am with you Melissa. I find myself taking a break from Instagram every now and then (that’s the only social media I have/use), because like you I find myself wondering why I don’t do this, that or be like this or that, etc. It can be very exhausting. Taking a break from that is good though, whenever I do go back I find myself not doing the mindless scrolling and realize that I can be without constantly trying to connect with people that I know very little about, except for their “perfect” pictures.
Judy says
You are speaking to me, Joshua. I often feel others have it together a lot more than I do. I know where I struggle—- and I am striving to do better. Your blog helps me tremendously. Bottom line—- it’s about less. Less junk in my house so I can keep up with daily living. Less online nonsense so I have more time to be productive. The year is winding down and I plan to make the best of it. Really, no more excuses.
Norma says
I love this reminder. It’s so true and so easy to look at others and imagine they have a perfect life. I like to think that we all burp, fart, pee and poop. We are so much more alike than different regardless of how perfect a magazine or social media picture looks. There is always room for improvement but we should also enjoy the journey of being alive.
Louise says
Thank you. I did need to hear this today.
Kelli says
I’ve been googling perfectionism since 5am. Figuring out the why and how to stop it. It’s causing a massive amount of damage in my life right now.
Thank you.
Judy says
Kelli—- please know that you are created by God… in His image. You were perfectly knitted in your mother’s womb.