“I am not concerned that you have fallen. I am concerned that you arise.” —Abraham Lincoln
Life is never, always a comedy. At times, it is tragedy.
Life is experienced as a constant, never-ending shift between successes and failures—sometimes occurring within moments of one another. To be human is to fail. We know this to be true from personal experience.
We experience hardship both because of our faults and because of the faults of others.
We fail in the small things: staying on a diet, running a 5k, keeping a New Year’s resolution, or controlling clutter in our homes. We fail in the larger things: overcoming an addiction, finding employment, or holding on to an important relationship. And sometimes our failures negatively impact the rest of our lives: keeping a marriage together, persuading a child to make better choices, or overcoming a lifetime of debt.
But in each setback—whether small or large—we find opportunity for growth. And as long as a glimmer of hope remains, so do we.
Some of the most influential people in my life have cemented their legacy through their failures. This should come as no surprise. After all, some of the most inspirational stories ever written (or lived) center on personal triumph over weakness or loss. As one screen writer once told me, “If the hero in your story does not experience tragedy, the audience will never relate to him or her.”
Failure is a necessary part of life. We would be wise to allow it to change us and shape us. How then, can each of us redeem failure for good?
An Encouraging Guide to Overcoming Failure
1. We admit that we experience it. Despite the universality of failure, our world goes to great lengths to hide it. People always have and people always will. Our default position too often is to downplay our weaknesses, but those who find growth in failure begin by simply admitting its existence in their lives.
2. We recognize failure is common. And because we know all experience it, we find comfort knowing we are not alone in it.
3. We look for personal responsibility. Our initial tendency is often to blame others or uncontrollable, external factors. After all, to admit defeat is to admit defeat. But rarely are the failures in our lives entirely the responsibility of someone else. And until we take personal responsibility in some capacity, we can never move on to the next step.
4. We process our weakness. Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” This holds true in both success and failure. When failure occurs, which it always will, the wisest of us journey inward to determine the cause and intentional steps we can take to learn from the experience. And in time, we learn to champion humility.
5. We let go of the factors outside our control. One of the most hope-filled moments in life is when we find the courage to let go of what we cannot change.
6. We grow through pain. We live in a society passionately committed to avoiding pain. But there is benefit to be found in discomfort. While I would never encourage anybody to intentionally seek pain through failure, it will arise. And when it does, it will be okay. In fact, it will teach us things we could never learn elsewhere: patience and perseverance for example.
7. We forgive. If our pain is partly a result of someone else’s failures, we find freedom in forgiveness.
8. We turn to others. Nobody successfully navigates life alone. When the hope inside us begins to fade, we look for it in others. We turn to family. If family is not available, we turn to friends. And if friends are not available, we look for intentional communities around us to find support.
9. And then, we share our stories. It may not happen right away—some failures take longer to process than others. But eventually, we find opportunity to share our story. When we do, we share it with honesty and humility. Through it, we discover opportunity to provide hope, strength, and encouragement to others. We find influence for good. And we begin to make sense of our failings.
Failure is never the end. It is instead, a necessary part of the journey. May we keep hope alive. And find redemption through it.
Good timing, some nice reminders. I think the only thing that might be missing is recognize failure as a way of saying you might be going on the wrong path. Turn around. Try something else. This isn’t working.
Thanks.
Rob
Thanks a lot for giving a inspiration in right time with your words…..I hope for best….let me make a meaningful next chance
This is helpful article for me in failure to take responsibility on myself instead of blaming others.
Life is series of Ups and Downs we need to take it positively.
today i have failed at my physics exam…i think i am not the man worth living …please help me!
I slept through a physics course – every day I would use that time as my nap time. Naturally, I failed that course.
The next year, I took the same course and got an A+ in it – I can now look back and laugh at it.
Do that Asif, and take physics next year again.
There is very helpful for those people battling with depression cause by failure.I’m one of it!!!
After reading this blog, it enlightens my soul.
Thank you!
I’m a divorced, 45 year old alcoholic who has lost 2 jobs in succession. I’ve exhausted my unemployment benefits, have no close friends and no family whatsoever. I have a rare, untreatable illness so I’m in chronic pain. I’m in terrible debt, have rent/bills and an IRS payment due & no money at all. I’m an artist noted in my particular field and have a number of distant friends who are legendary & gazillionaires, so I’m too embarrassed to turn to them for help. I feel like, with the exception of my art, an utter failure and I’m a breath away from suicide. Yes, I know, I’m supposed to keep my chin up & stuff, that’s why I’m here. But I clearly don’t have the tools, the resources, the support or mental faculties to take care of myself properly. Anyway, thanks for listening.
Dear Mozaikgal To me also its a comfort to think of the pain just stopping. But I am convinced that death is another journey and one we must properly prepare for, especially when we depend on our own hand for the send off. I have found myself liberated from the urgency for death simply by asking the question “what regrets will I carry with me to the other side if I were to go now?” Invariably there are a few things needing attention and so I go on doing what I can in the hope of one day being ready. Living intimately with failure, its causes and its consequences seems to be a great part of that preparation. But so does allowing yourself to heal from the agony they cause.
MozaikGal, ASK the rich friends for help!
how is your life. is it same or changed.
Hello I am reading your article a bit late but better late than never I can relate to your story and would like the chance to communicate with you and would like to know how your life is going I. Now it would be such an inspirational meaning to me not matter what
thank you to give you me the chance to share with you my failure, failure is my companion, since childhood until now 57 years old, succeeded in one thing is to keep trying, never give up, my greatest failure is to become a practicing licensed Medical doctor, keep trying tests and exams, and studying enabled me to successfully resuscitate a witnessed cardiac arrest case in a public place of an elderly person, it was rather a resuscitation for myself.
Thanks Josh for the inspuration, but I have yet to overcome my failure which drove me into depression. I’m trying my best to stand back on my feet and without the use of medication. I appreciated the honesty from those who commented, it moved me.
Thank you so very much..
Hey.. I lost miserably in my school’s quiz competetion.. And i feel gud for nothing. I got selected for preliminary but got defeated in the mains