’Tis the season for unreasonable expectations.
Over the next several weeks, televisions, magazines, and websites will offer us countless images of the “perfect” holiday season.
Beaming faces, sparkling eyes, glistening gifts, and bountiful tables of food will be shown on media platforms of every sort. Many of these images will stand side-by-side with corporate logos and retail stores.
The turkey is from Butterball. The necklace from Kay’s. The soda is Coca-Cola. The toys were purchased at Walmart. The coffee is Folger’s. The slippers are from Kohl’s. And the new vehicle with the red bow in the driveway is a Lexus.
It would seem, from the image on the screen, these items are essential for a perfect holiday. Because obviously, the smiles are bigger, the family is happier, and the lights shine brighter—if, and only if, we buy the consumer product to make it so.
This is not a new strategy from marketers. All year long they communicate the subtle (and not-so-subtle) message that our lives will be better, happier, and more fulfilled if we buy whatever they’re selling.
But their message reaches a fever-pitch during the Holiday Season and nobody is immune to their meticulously crafted persuasion.
I assume one reason for the effectiveness of these ad campaigns is because we all desire a joyful and merry holiday season. We cherish our time with family and want it to be picture perfect. We love our kids and want them to be happy. And we all enjoy times of celebration and desire them to be memorable.
But let’s remember one important truth today: You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.
You don’t need a new car in the driveway for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need new jewelry for a perfect holiday season. You don’t need slippers. You don’t need a perfectly-decorated 10-foot tree. And you certainly don’t need a large pile of glistening presents underneath it.
You don’t need any of those things for a perfect holiday season.
The holiday season is about family, and thankfulness, and faith and love and peace. It’s about reflecting on the year that was, and looking forward to the year that can be. It’s about counting blessings. It’s about slowing down long enough to appreciate the things in life that matter most.
And too often, the consumeristic promises and fake-photos keep us from enjoying the season. Instead of slowing down, we speed up. We rush from store-to-store (or website-to-website) filling our shopping carts with all the things we think we need. We fill our schedules with increased commitments and responsibilities. We max out our credit cards.
We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect holiday season that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.
But Melody Beattie once said, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”
Once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect holiday season.
And maybe that is what worries marketers the most… that we would begin to recognize all the things we don’t need for a perfect holiday season.
Kris says
If you have a peaceful soul, and people to share it with, you really do have everything. But its not as easy to find as you think, especially if you look outward. The key is to find it within yourself. Thanks for a great message!
Kaylee says
Lovely article! Such a great reminder for this time of year.
Lois says
Its all so easy to ‘get it’ with our rational minds but a lot of us are driven by our subconscious desires. Part of me is in complete agreement with what is said about cutting back on the buying and gifting but the other part is drawn like a magnet to the emails, the TV ads and the websites. I am almost panic stricken at the thought of not getting ‘enough’ presents for my grand kids and step grand kids. I want to be fair, I want to be loving, I want to fulfill their hopes and expectations, as well as my own, misguided though they may be. Then, after one short day, its all over. All the work and stress and worry was for what, now? I know its all true but changing is hard and just plain terrifying. I tell myself I want to be different and then go ahead and just be like I have always been.
I am laughing at myself now! It amuses me when I admit the truth to myself as well as admitting the truth frees me from my self condemnation.
Merry Christmas to all, may all your dreams come true, some how.
Sahel says
Thanks for this timely reminder that Christmas has a higher purpose than the material one we’ve been lead to believe it’s all about in recent years. All the excesses of this time of year actually make me feel a little queasy! I love the holidays, but not the consumerism and pressure to buy. No presents this year – unless they’re homemade, and instead lots of quality family time.
Dee says
Growing up I learned more and bigger is obviously better. If you like a top for example, you must buy every color. If it’s on sale there is even more cumpultion to buy. And if it’s from a thrift store every item should be considered. All this in a subconscious attempt to feel good, more complete and safe.
I moved out of the house at 18 years old with way too much stuff. I got married 2 years later to my childhood sweetheart and 4 1/2 years later we had a bouncing baby girl. In a frenzy to prepare for our baby I never thought I could have, I bought all the thrifted clothes, blankets and trinkets I could find. According to most families it didn’t seem like much as we didn’t have the large baby gear. But her closet told a different story. It didn’t feel right. Once she arrived I realized I had justified too much garage sale, on sale, thrifted, and ‘must have this’ items. I Realised at this point I could of gotten a handful of nice outfits and things for her when she actually needed them, if she needed them. I felt wasteful and silly.
This is when we started getting rid of most of the things in our home. It took 2 years to make our 1,200 square foot home hit its clicking point. Since then we’ve moved to a 650 square foot townhome to our wonderful 850 square foot home, with a big back yard. I’ve learned enough really is enough. I don’t have to live in a poverty mindset, hoarding belongings for the unforseable future.
One month after moving into our new home we brought our sweet son home. Having a simple home made this an easier transition for everyone. Their combined closet is more tidy than my daughter’s was alone at birth. I am no longer swimming in baby things.
Choosing to live small has allowed us to be debt free besides our home. It has also helped give me the desire of my heart of being a stay at home mom and hopefully homeschool our children. We are engaged in our vibrant community almost daily. We have 5 parks and a library within walking distance, a membership at the YMCA and are active members at our local church. We also have time for building relationships with family and friends.
Life is better with room to breathe and space to let life happen. Whether it be in your schedule or in your home. It is so much easier to never let things you don’t need into your life, then have to figure out what to do with them after the fact. Boundaries are healthy in every area of life and I like that minimalism enforces this.
Our life still gets crazy but we like to hit the ‘RESET’ button often. This means we put everything back in its place. The best is yet to come!
Betsy says
How wise you are. If I could turn back the hands of time I would live like you and your family. Debt really had an effect on my first marriage but I learned a lot along the way. Stay on course, it sounds like you are on a good track for a secure future.
Betsy says
I love watching the old Christmas Classic movies on a local channel. Then the commercials come on. Perhaps I owe a debt of gratitude to the whole realization that minimalism leads to a better quality of life. I read this site and a few others too. The commercials remind me of all the “stuff” that clutters our life. I find that for myself it gets me right back on track when I think I could use something else. I’m sure the advertisers wouldn’t be happy that it was having this effect on me.
Angela Olson says
So spot on Joshua.
joshua becker says
Thanks Angela.
Teresa Land says
The reason for this Season is STILL Christ. No need for all of the gift-buying and rushing around. Just remembering Him and His arrival into a dark world to bring us salvation is enough.
Merry and Blessed Christmas to all of you!
Leisha says
Amen and I love that Christmas Is on Sunday this year!
Joy says
Thank you for this, just what I needed to hear. The run up to Christmas always makes me sad with memories of years past. My children and grandchildren live miles away and tend to forget about my husband and I in their busy -ness. This will be the second year on our own. Christmas easy is fine,it is just a day like any other, but the run up always gets me.
Jo bridges says
Can you be grandma/grandpa to a nearby family with no older loved ones in their lives? Can you become involved in their lives?
I’ve been alone through the holidays and I know it is really really difficult. Wish I could be near you and give you a hug (and a pumpkin pie).
Meanwhile I think next year, I will ascribe to a minimalist lifestyle for myself. So much more peace…
Linda says
After reading article and responses, I am alone. I have kids and grandkids one hour away. I get so stressed at Christmas because of the commercialism. I’m on fixed budget. After this Christmas, things are changing. We should celebrate the reason for the holiday. His birth his death BECAUSE without this we wouldn’t have any reason to celebrate. Our eternity is our gift. Take each day remembering that.❤
Jettie McCollough says
So true. I don’t have a TV but on Thanksgiving at my parents’ house it was talking at us non-stop and I was overwhelmed by the audacity of advertisers who equated love with jewelry, happiness with booze and joy with toys. No wonder people have such a hard time just listening to their own hearts and finding love in hugs, happiness in shared experiences and joy in nature. XOXOX