We live in a culture of unreasonable expectations.
Nearly every day, television, magazines, websites, and billboards offer us countless images of the “perfect” home.
Beaming faces, sparkling eyes, pristine decor, and bountiful tables of food are shown on media platforms of every sort. Many of these images stand side by side with corporate logos and retail stores.
It would seem, from the image on the screen, these items are essential for a perfect home. Because, obviously, the smiles are bigger, the family is happier, and the lights shine brighter—if, and only if, we buy the consumer product to make it so.
This is not a new strategy from marketers. Our entire lives, they have communicated subtle (and not-so-subtle) messages that our lives will be better, happier, and more fulfilled if we buy whatever they’re selling.
It seems our entire economy is built on making people feel dissatisfied with what they have. And nobody is immune to the meticulously crafted persuasion.
I assume one reason for the effectiveness of these ad campaigns is because we all desire a joyful home filled with love, warmth, and comfort. We cherish our time with family and want it to be picture perfect. We love our kids and want them to be happy. And we all enjoy times of celebration and desire them to be memorable.
But let’s remember one important truth today: You don’t need any of those things in the ads for a perfect home.
You don’t need new furniture or updated countertops. You don’t need the stainless steel appliances (or whatever is most trendy this decade). You don’t need the largest-screen television. You don’t need all the perfect decoration. You don’t need expensive food or drink. And you certainly don’t need a Lexus in the driveway with a red ribbon wrapped around it.
Home is about family, thankfulness, acceptance, love, and strength. It’s about reflecting on the life that was and looking forward to the life that can be in the future. It’s about counting blessings. And it’s about slowing down from life long enough to appreciate and enjoy the people who matter most.
Too often, the consumeristic promises and fake photos keep us from all that.
Instead of slowing down, we speed up. We rush from store to store (or website to website), filling our homes with all the things we think we need to make it just perfect.
We fill our schedules with increased commitments and responsibilities. We max out our credit cards. We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect home that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us.
But once we slow down enough to notice our blessings, we begin to see that we already have everything we need for a perfect home. We just need to appreciate it more.
Val says
Being content with, and grateful for, everything I have comes much more naturally to me since getting rid of the tv and no longer reading magazines.
Diane says
I agree with this post, however having lost a home to foreclosure, I can tell you that my little modest home meant a lot to me. The garden that I kept the memories of my kids, the pets, I had loved buried in the back yard… I spent a good deal of time homeless. Basic things like a home are very important to a person. We must not confuse excess possessions with a home and possessions that make life comfortable. Having a home and security is very important.
Nicole says
Amen Diane. Sending love and hope you are in a better position. 💗
Sarah says
A couple once told me that they bought their dream home despite having a huge mortgage.. they had to work 2 shifts each and mostly worked over 10 hours a day. It then hit me and I wondered when would they actually live in that house.
Ju Ju says
My home isn’t perfect and I don’t plan to retire soon in another city. We have saved for the small place where we did grow and now it is time to de clutter . I am marking my calendar for the day to make the time and enjoy 😉 better late than never ;)
Kelley says
I’ve noticed this with many other things as well, things like Apple watches and fitness trackers. I looked into one and decided that I really don’t use enough features to warrant spending the money for one (not to mention I don’t want email, voicemail etc following me around on my wrist)….but they market the heck out of these things. For what? They will be another fad to come and go.
Make your home and your life what YOU want it to be, not what marketers dictate it should be.
Maria Pinto says
Lots of good information here, & at the end of the day to me it is about being true to myself, my little apartment is comfortable and just “enough” for me & my two cats.
This always reminds me of a funny & heartwarming movie called “Crazy People” with Dudley Moore & Daryl Hannah. It is about truth in advertising, & worth watching.
The Marketers & Advertisers do not have control over us if we don’t let them. It is that simple.
Jacqueline says
I’ve never seen that, but I am going to watch it. Thanks for the recommendation.
Ann says
I got a “B” on my multi-choice Marketing final in college by asking myself, “What is the least ethical thing I could do in this situation and still be legal?” That class was one big eye-opener into the underhanded way that things are sold. And that was in the late 1970s.
D-L Nelson says
I worked to market co-ops like credit unions which are good for people. And I didn’t have to feel guilty.
Mary says
I just watched the movie you recommended! It was really good and very thought provoking. Thank you!
Reannah says
I couldn’t help but wonder after watching a few of your videos on YouTube if the reason you had so many haters is because you sort of resemble Simon Cowell (you remember American Idol?). He was brutally honest with people about how terrible they sang. Anyway, now that I got that off my chest I can say to you that the media has a humongous subconscious impact on everyone. Especially those who drown themselves out to the sounds of a bunch of people talking at once (like on CNN, for instance). Your salt and pepper hair color isn’t what truly speaks to me, like so many people think from a first impression of you. America’s Top Model has everyone on high alert of how we should be judging people – based on outward appearances x 100. Or, TLC’s What Not To Wear that was taking these dressed down women and dressing them up to prove that women feel confident based on their looks. There are so many surface messages that fill voids in people’s lives and then you come along and offer some solid substance! I can’t imagine how many people get triggered. They’re not used to it. Admittedly, I’m not even used to it. It’s good, though. It’s the kind of thing that reminds you you are alive and have purpose. It’s like, “pinch me, I must be dreaming,” as people (like me) are trying to undrown themselves in piles of stuff. ? They say a real sign of maturity is when you can laugh at yourself and even poke fun at yourself in front of others. Thanks for your reminders of what’s real. I hope to always love my living space in the ways you mentioned in this article, even if it is a small little apartment.
Melissa Clarke says
Amen❤️
stella says
In fact, I found that Ads are very enjoyable to me because they can be creative, fun and often exagerated. My 15 and 18 year old are getting this and as consumers can do amazingly well. at home. The challenge was removed when they have reached college and understand the words “loaning” and “credits”. They then take on the responsiblity for their spending and feel more involved.
L says
We have also found this attitude around food. For us the traditional Sunday roast costing a huge amount of time, effort and money doesn’t actually satisfy or create the ‘dream family’ any more than pasta. Thank you for helping me switch on to marketing and having the sense to not allow it to affect me negatively. We are now on a mortgage free track. Your advice has helped us get there.
Gladys says
“home is where your heart is” Your work with “Hope Effect” is an important support for our community and I just can not thank you enough for what you do and for the people you help.
joshua becker says
I appreciate those kind words Gladys. Thank you, and you are welcome.
Vanshika says
Hi Joshua
This line of yours, ” We get so frustrated and weary chasing the perfect home that we never take time to enjoy the one right in front of us ” hit me hard.
Thank you for this article.
Jess says
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