My grandfather passed away in 2020.
At his funeral, I delivered the eulogy. Here is a portion of what I said:
What can I say about this man? What can I say about a man I’ve always wanted to be just like? What can I say about a man who shaped my worldview and understanding of God more than anyone else? What can I say about a man I named my own son after?
He had a significant impact on my life. You can read my entire eulogy here.
During one of my last conversations with my grandfather, before he got sick on Thanksgiving, he made a statement to me that I found to be incredibly profound.
He said, “We live our entire lives under the shadow of death.”
While I didn’t tell him at the time, I found the statement to be deep and life-enhancing when understood correctly. In fact, merely hearing it brought about further resolve of my desire to live a minimalist life.
Consider its weight: We all live under the shadow of death.
That statement has been true in 2020 maybe more than any other year as local and national media regularly report death counts from all over the world and daily public service announcements can be heard over the airwaves asking us to act responsibly.
But death is not new to us—despite the unprecedented times we live in.
In fact, we live every day with the understanding that it may be our last. Not in a morbid, depressing way (shockingly so), but in the awareness and reality of understanding life.
Every time I get in my car to drive to work or the grocery store, I know, instinctively, something tragic could happen to me or another driver. I also know, full-well, that even if I don’t leave my house, a medical emergency could befall me or someone I love. I am not immune from a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, a stroke, a brain aneurysm.
I have plenty of loved ones who unexpectedly received life-changing news, or were tragically stricken.
As grandpa said, “Life is lived under this shadow of death.” The reality of it surrounds us every day of our lives. And even if we don’t have a close, loved one who recently passed away, we almost certainly know someone who has.
Nobody escapes life alive.
But somehow it seems, human beings are able to both live with the knowledge of death and somehow function apart from it.
Death is inevitable. And yet, I am able to live wholly today, focused on the present and the future, as if it won’t happen to me today. I am aware of coming death, but not paralyzed by it. It is a fascinating paradox and ability of the human mind when you think about.
While the shadow of death does not paralyze me, in the quiet moments of life, the shadow motivates me and sharpens the wisest among us.
Only a fool lives as if their life will never end.
We receive one life to live, with a limited number of days and a limited number of resources with which to accomplish our purpose. Almost all of the resources we consume during our journey are limited: money, time, energy, space, focus, capacity, even the relationships we are able to pursue.
This reality of our finite nature is an incredibly important truth. It is one we should intentionally choose to focus on each day. Because when we do, it changes our actions, our motivations, and our pursuits. It changes us:
Because life is finite, we make better choices.
Because time is finite, we spend our days on things that matter.
Because money is finite, we spend it on pursuits that will outlast us.
Because our energy is finite, we choose carefully where we focus our passions.
Because our days are finite, we value relationships and love.
Because I live under the shadow of death, I will choose a minimalist life and reject the empty promise of consumerism and what this world offers. I will live for greater pursuits.
Life will end—indeed. And that realization should affect the decisions I make each day. But rather than causing me to throw in the towel and give up on life, this shadow of death will spark hope and resolve and passion to spend each remaining day of my life making the most of it.
Diane says
Indeed, having had a “scare,” I live each day with renewed gratitude, energy, and the motivation to make the very most of it. Your book was a great resource in making that possible! Tossing/donating any thing that could not be enjoyed – maybe its time was past, maybe there simply was no place to display/enjoy it – has been profoundly liberating. Very little in our house remains packed in boxes (and none of it mine). There are indications that my pack rat husband has even seen the light! Time will tell. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved grandfather. I know a big part of him travels with you still. Thank you for sharing your love for him.
Isuamfon Offiong says
Hey Becker, I would say you are lucky to have a grandfather that gave you some pieces of advise as compared to others that never even saw their parents.
My condolences though.
Overall, grand dad is so correct.
We all live everyday knowing that we die in our sleep and are given another chance to wake.
One day we sleep and not wake, land it goes on till Christ comes.
Between, I’m loving this blog. Will need to bookmark so I can easily access it. ?
Suzie says
Joshua my deepest condolences on the passing of your Grandfather. You were blessed to have him in your life, some
never experience that kind of blessing. Perhaps we experience
the beautifulness of your Grandfather’s soul through your reflections
that you share lovingly with your readers. Let the grace of his soul pour forth through your words. I pray that our Heavenly
Father brings you comfort and peace.
Sue Wilkins says
So sorry about the loss of your grandfather, but I have a feeling he was ready to go.
I have taken this course before, so I maybe have lifetime access, I don’t know. Hopefully someone will read this who can sort it out for me. I registered and paid the fee anyway, but don’t want to be paying twice for something. Can someone help me?
joshua becker says
All participants have lifetime access and can log-in to the Uncluttered website at any time. You can even sign up to receive the weekly emails again if you want for free on the Course Resources page after logging-in (my.becomingminimalist.com/login). There is always a link at the top of this page called “Course.” Let me know when you see this reply… this isn’t the right place for this conversation.
Courtney Sims says
Joshua Becker, I’ve wanted to say this for a while…I see Jesus in you.
Your grandfather left a great legacy, and you are well on your way to a great legacy. Prayers for you and your family as you deal with this loss.
Gail Carmack says
Joshua, Kim and family,
I’m sorry to read about your loss. You are very blessed that he was with you so long and made a positive impact on your lives.
God bless you all during this time and always.
Ani says
There are only few moments in the day I don’t think about death
Jazpine says
I have just found you online and don’t know much… but it seems to me you are on your way to being as wise as your grandad has shown himself to be through you.
joshua becker says
Thanks Jazpine.
Kalli says
Yes, “life to you and yours” at 99 years of age he has left a great legacy. Your son knows the love and value of his name, May you find peace at this time. Here in Australia we have lost many aged in 2020, my father passed aged 88 in February.
Kate Erickson says
He will be missed greatly what a warrior for Jesus. We pray for your family.