My grandfather passed away in 2020.
At his funeral, I delivered the eulogy. Here is a portion of what I said:
What can I say about this man? What can I say about a man I’ve always wanted to be just like? What can I say about a man who shaped my worldview and understanding of God more than anyone else? What can I say about a man I named my own son after?
He had a significant impact on my life. You can read my entire eulogy here.
During one of my last conversations with my grandfather, before he got sick on Thanksgiving, he made a statement to me that I found to be incredibly profound.
He said, “We live our entire lives under the shadow of death.”
While I didn’t tell him at the time, I found the statement to be deep and life-enhancing when understood correctly. In fact, merely hearing it brought about further resolve of my desire to live a minimalist life.
Consider its weight: We all live under the shadow of death.
That statement has been true in 2020 maybe more than any other year as local and national media regularly report death counts from all over the world and daily public service announcements can be heard over the airwaves asking us to act responsibly.
But death is not new to us—despite the unprecedented times we live in.
In fact, we live every day with the understanding that it may be our last. Not in a morbid, depressing way (shockingly so), but in the awareness and reality of understanding life.
Every time I get in my car to drive to work or the grocery store, I know, instinctively, something tragic could happen to me or another driver. I also know, full-well, that even if I don’t leave my house, a medical emergency could befall me or someone I love. I am not immune from a cancer diagnosis, a heart attack, a stroke, a brain aneurysm.
I have plenty of loved ones who unexpectedly received life-changing news, or were tragically stricken.
As grandpa said, “Life is lived under this shadow of death.” The reality of it surrounds us every day of our lives. And even if we don’t have a close, loved one who recently passed away, we almost certainly know someone who has.
Nobody escapes life alive.
But somehow it seems, human beings are able to both live with the knowledge of death and somehow function apart from it.
Death is inevitable. And yet, I am able to live wholly today, focused on the present and the future, as if it won’t happen to me today. I am aware of coming death, but not paralyzed by it. It is a fascinating paradox and ability of the human mind when you think about.
While the shadow of death does not paralyze me, in the quiet moments of life, the shadow motivates me and sharpens the wisest among us.
Only a fool lives as if their life will never end.
We receive one life to live, with a limited number of days and a limited number of resources with which to accomplish our purpose. Almost all of the resources we consume during our journey are limited: money, time, energy, space, focus, capacity, even the relationships we are able to pursue.
This reality of our finite nature is an incredibly important truth. It is one we should intentionally choose to focus on each day. Because when we do, it changes our actions, our motivations, and our pursuits. It changes us:
Because life is finite, we make better choices.
Because time is finite, we spend our days on things that matter.
Because money is finite, we spend it on pursuits that will outlast us.
Because our energy is finite, we choose carefully where we focus our passions.
Because our days are finite, we value relationships and love.
Because I live under the shadow of death, I will choose a minimalist life and reject the empty promise of consumerism and what this world offers. I will live for greater pursuits.
Life will end—indeed. And that realization should affect the decisions I make each day. But rather than causing me to throw in the towel and give up on life, this shadow of death will spark hope and resolve and passion to spend each remaining day of my life making the most of it.
Jo says
Joshua, thank you, for your sharing of your Granpa’s passing…from what you have written of him through the years he is someone I am looking forward to meeting when I get to Heaven. May Jesus comfort your hearts, holding you close when the waves of grief wash over you. He understands and infinitely loves you and your family.
God bless you,
Jo
Lynn says
Over the holiday, I led a funeral where the family asked me to speak to that very topic. We indeed live in the shadow of death. But the next phrase in Psalm 23 says, “I will fear no evil for thy rod and staff comfort me.” We do live in the shadow of death, but fear of that death is not necessary because our God is with us. But when we know that we are no far from death, it can help us to live life fully. My prayers are with you and your family as you remember a life well lived.
Kelly Epperson says
What a beautiful tribute. My condolences on your grandfather’s passing. I lost my father and grandfather this year, and it’s been an experience that, while producing immense grief, has also produced immense gratitude. The finite does not have to defeat us if we do not seek the infinite within it. The infinite, for a person of faith, lies beyond. God bless you and your family.
Kristine Freshour says
So sorry for your loss. Sound like an incredible man. This was one of the most beautiful posts I’ve ever read. Thank you!
GloriaAnn Curwin says
How MORBID this topic. If you live in fear of death you don’t really live
Karen Trefzger says
Hi GloriaAnn. Joshua is not saying we should live in fear of death, just with awareness that our life and all of our resources are finite. With this awareness, we are free to stop wasting time and energy and money and really pursue our passions. We’re free to stop making excuses and do what really matters to us. We can step away from the role assigned to us (“consumer”) and become what we were made to be: people who create, love, give, try, learn, etc.
Karen Trefzger says
Hi GloriaAnn. Joshua is not saying we should live in fear of death, just with awareness that our life and all of our resources are finite. With this awareness, we are free to stop wasting time and energy and money and really pursue our passions. We’re free to stop making excuses and do what really matters to us. We can step away from the role assigned to us (“consumer”) and become what we were made to be: people who create, love, give, try, learn, etc. This is the opposite of fear!
Cheryl says
Joshua, I am SO sorry to hear of your deep loss. It is so evident how much you loved and admired him. He will live on through the advice and wisdom he poured into you all those years. May God draw very near to you and hold you close to His heart in every moment of overwhelming grief. Praying for you.
SD says
So sorry to hear about your grandpa. He sounds like a wonderful person! Thank you for a beautiful post!
Jeneane says
Very well written… BRAVO! As the Bible says, “we are not promised a tomorrow.” We should live every precious, God given day as though it could well be our last!
Brenda Hollick says
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your Grandpa. He was obviously a man who greatly influenced you. That is all we can hope to leave behind, the influence we have had on the world through the people we have met on the way. Also by the children we have created, not just just pro-created, but the people they are, influenced for good by us.
I thank you for the influence you have been to me, and many others, on our minimalist journey. Since reading your first book a few years ago, my home is now empty of all unnecessary items, and my husband and I are enjoying a much more intentional way if life. Thank you and Gods richest blessing to you, your wife and family.
Ben Milliken says
My condolences on your grandfather’s passing..but what a wonderful eulogy you gave! Even though I never knew your grandfather I felt like I knew him after reading this! I never got to know either of my grandfathers as they had both passed before i was born. My dad passed when i was 10 (1970) and my mom passed in 1993. I still think of her every day and find peace in the thought she is no longer suffering. Peace be with you and your family.