A few months ago, my wife and I took our kids on a short weekend trip to the mountains. As we pulled out of our neighborhood and merged onto the four lane highway, we suddenly realized an important detail for the trip had been left undone.
Kim and I both assumed the other person was going to make the necessary arrangements. As a result, neither of us had accomplished the task. And now, the trip had already begun.
The problem would ultimately be fixed with a little extra time and money. But in the moment, our conversation abruptly ended. Tenseness ensued. And both of us stared silently out the windshield in disgust.
After a few short minutes, one little voice called out from the backseat, “Umm, are you guys ever going to talk again?” The silence had become unbearable.
I was reminded again how silence has become a difficult atmosphere in our society.
In our homes, we turn on our televisions. In our cars, we turn on the radio. When we exercise, we put on our headphones. Even when waiting in elevators or on hold with customer service, sound fills the void.
It seems we have become uncomfortable with the very presence of silence in our lives. We speak of “awkward silences” in a room full of people. We fear that brief moment when we meet someone new and aren’t quite sure what to say. And I remember being on countless dates growing up where any lapse in the conversation meant the entire relationship was doomed forever.
My family even pokes fun at me when I mute the television during commercials—as if the idea of sitting in quiet for 2 minutes is too long.
But in a world filled with noise, silence becomes even more important.
It is no secret we are bombarded everyday with countless messages.
Advertisements from every flat surface and frequency tell us what to watch, where to go, and what to purchase. Countless artists fill canvases, screens, and printed paper hoping to convince us of their worldview and beliefs. Political pundits from every aisle and experts from every imaginable field speak boldly about how we should proceed on the most important issues of our time.
Meanwhile, silence quietly calls for our attention. Because only in extended periods of solitude, can we rediscover our hearts and the voice of timeless wisdom in our lives.
The benefits of silence and solitude in a noisy world are significant and life-giving. In quiet moments of reflection:
- We remove the expectation and influence of others.
- We hear our heart speak clearly.
- We reflect on our past and chart our future.
- We find rest and refreshment.
- We break the cycle of busyness in our lives.
- We become better equipped to show patience and love to others.
While anyone can experience silence at any time by finding a quiet place to sit for an extended period of time, I have found solitude does not occur naturally in our noise-centered world. It must be intentionally pursued by each of us.
But for it to be pursued, it must first be valued and desired.
Be reminded of the importance of silence and solitude. Make its presence a habit in your life—both in small ways and in big ways. You’ve got nothing to lose. And your whole life to gain back.
I was raised by a Mother who cultivated silence in our home as rejuvenation and growth time to know ourselves. She believed in a quiet home. We had a lovely quiet environment to grow up in where books were preferred We are all speed readers and as a reader I have always preferred silence in my world. It is of utmost importance to me to have silence in my life. For only in silence can you know yourself and value precious alone time. To work out your life’s issues, to meditate, to pray, to read or journal. It is the most valuable gift to give yourself.
I worked 14-16 hour days for years in a noisy police department where noise was over the top obnoxious and hard on my system. I survived by having complete quiet on days off and staying away from crowds, noisy places and traffic. In retirement I adore entire days of quiet. I watch little or no TV at all, mute during every commercial if I do, have complete days of silence without input from anything that makes noise . Nature is a great teacher of silence and I escape there often . Our homes are our sanctuary from a noisy obnoxious world that is currently overwhelming our senses from every direction. Once we leave our driveway we have no control over how noise affects our nervous systems and our brain. Our systems are on overload when we are in public. Noise has become common place and epically damaging to our health. The motorcycle that raises your blood pressure and the screaming kids in stores that give you migraines. The constant need of others to always be opening their mouths in public speaking overly loudly so we all have to listen to their vapid conversations on their silly phones. To my system noise is the difference in complete silence over what a ball game noise would be, the effect is so jarring and negative to your brain , hearing and nerves . But in our homes we do have complete control over quiet and peace of mind. its our last bastion of peace in this noisy world. mine is also a small condo, but a quiet lovely sanctuary with reverence for silence. Its one of life’s greatest joys to know and embrace silence. It is good for our health and our minds. Nothing is better then a quiet evening with a cat, good books and tea.. As my Mom believed, it rejuvenates you for challenges , teaches you about yourself and gives your mind much needed rest.
You’re speaking my language here Joshua. It took having three children to fully realise that I become disconnected from my life, without small pockets of silence to bring me home.
I’m reminded of my late Aunty, whom couldn’t bare silence and car trips with her were pure exhaustion. Intentionally creating quiet space, has become my number one self-care practice. Thank you for tackling this subject here.
So, answer the question . . . are you two ever going to speak to each other again? ;-}
Today’s post is a wonderful reminder to slow down and savor the silence. Thank you Joshua. Bravo!
I cannot get enough silence. I work 9-10 days in a very noisy environment. My home has no TV, I listen to soft instrumental jazz when doing housework, no radio is turned on in the car. The only noises in my home are from purring cats and the occasional chirp of the computer’s innards. I am lucky to live in a very quiet neighborhood. When I retire in 5 yrs I will be moving to some land I’ve purchased far off the main road in the foothills of N.C. which I hope will be my refuge from this busy noisy world. I cannot wait! :)
my favourite button on the remote is mute, the adverts drive me mad and they increase the volume, so i mute them, wish i had a toy gun would blast them off the t.v.
Mindless stuff, i love the quiet, i need some it more and more, it saddens me that libraries don,t respect that any more, it seems they are just as noisy and i know when we were kids they were a little over the top, but now they are just as bad as a cafe, or shopping centre, don,t get me started how loud and gobby people are on mobiles when you are on the bus and can,t escape, i would throw the phone out of the window and then them make them stay on the bus, or better still keep the mobile and throw the person off the bus, solution yay can,t see you posting this joshua, still my little rant hee hee
happy days Jacqueline
I have a studio hair salon. Most days I have fitting music playing but some days I just want quiet. My guest will often remark hoe quiet it is. I find it to be very important for some people to get a total sound break and just let go.
Noise is a constant battle in my home because I love silence and my husband loves TV. When we are both retired I think I will be spending a lot of time outside walking the dog or reading at the library. I have asked him repeatedly why he must have the TV on all the time and he says he enjoys the noise, which boggles my mind, but I guess we are all different.
Relate :\
Thanks Joshua.
I too treasure those times of silence during my days. I can enjoy what I am doing more(cycling, hiking, reading, etc.) without the distraction of added noise.
The power of silence has been understood for as long as history has been recorded – people going and living in the desert alone for periods, more recently (in the last 2000 years) the monasteries of both ‘eastern’ religions and Christianity have written silence into their daily patterns. Recently I note that their are silence retreats available too. I am a muter, but the rest of the family thrives on their ‘noise’.
Appreciating silence has become easier as I got older. I think there are two reasons to that: 1) I don’t need constant stimulation anymore and 2) I am not made uncomfortable by the sound of my own thoughts anymore.