“Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.” – Hans Margolius
It’s no secret that we are bombarded everyday with countless messages. In America alone, advertising is a $412 billion/year industry that is constantly telling us what to watch, where to go, and what to purchase. Their messages fill our televisions, radios, computers, newspapers, magazines, and morning commutes. The industry gladly spends this money because they know over time, they will shape our minds, hearts, and spending habits. Add all of the political pundits and experts filling our airwaves telling us how we should think… and it becomes increasingly clear that we are bombarded nearly every moment of our lives with messages that others want us to hear and believe.
All of these messages inevitably begin to shape our lives. Our heart and mind is indeed influenced by the messages that enter through our eyes and ears. And our life is slowly whittled away and re-formed by the loudest voices that get through (it’s no reason they are shouting so loud for our attention).
Whether you are pursuing a “less is more” lifestyle or just trying to find more health and fulfillment in your life, you will find countless benefits from embracing a discipline of solitude.
Solitude provides opportunity to rediscover our lives. By “electing to intentionally withdraw from human relationships for a period of time,” we are able to remove the shaping influence of others and recenter our hearts on our deepest values. We are able to evaluate the assumptions, claims, and messages of our culture. Often times, we realize that these shaping forces have been incorrect all along. And we have lost our lives because of them.
Consider that when we embrace solitude…
- We intentionally remove the influence of others for period of time.
- We intentionally remove the expectations of others.
- We are able to hear our own heart speak.
- We find rest and refreshment.
- We discover that others can live without us.
- We find that the world does not rest on our shoulders.
- We can adequately reflect on our past and chart our future.
- We break the cycle of busyness in our lives.
- We become better equipped to show patience with others.
- We feed our souls.
While anyone can practice solitude at any given time by just finding a quiet place to sit for an extended period of time, I have found these tips to be particularly helpful in developing a discipline of concentrated solitude:
Give yourself enough time. If you are just starting, try 30 minutes. Typically, the first 15 minutes are filled with a busy mind still running fast. But after about 15 minutes, your mind will slow down enough to offer you deep reflection. And the longer you give it, the deeper it will go.
Schedule time. If you are just hoping for an extra 30-45 minutes to show up in your day for solitude, it’ll never come. Time for solitude must be desired, scheduled, and created.
Find a calm location. Your surroundings will make a big difference. Avoid “fast-paced” locations such as offices, kitchens, or any place that reminds you of work. Also keep in mind that you’ll find solitude more fulfilling if your space is uncluttered.
Take as little as possible with you.
Just allow your mind to wander. There are no set rules concerning what you should be thinking about. Just let your mind wander. As I mentioned, it will skip around at the very beginning. But eventually, your mind will settle in on something that your heart has been trying to tell you all along.
Don’t quit just because you don’t like what you find. The journey into our heart is not always a pretty one. Sometimes when we start pulling back the layers of our heart and realize our deepest motivations, we don’t like what we see. This can be difficult for some and cause even more to stop altogether. But, don’t. A richer, fuller life is just around the corner.
Don’t worry if you fall asleep. While solitude is different than napping, if you consistently find yourself falling asleep during these quiet periods, your mind may be trying to tell you something. And you should probably listen.
Pray. If you are spiritual, certainly use this time to connect with God. If you are not spiritual, solitude just may put you more in touch with God if you are open to it. Because God often speaks with a small voice that is drowned out by the world’s noise, we can’t hear it until we intentionally listen for it.
Give solitude a chance. You’ve got nothing to lose. And your life to gain back.
William Butler says
Hi Joshua,
It was a delight to discover you through a share on Twitter.
I resonate with your take on solitude. It seems with ever increasing demands on our time, if we are not careful, there will be little left for ourselves, so it’s something we cannot afford to put off. You’re right: solitude is where your life is waiting. This advice will serve to strengthen many more people.
Kind Regards,
Bill
Melissa says
My husband passed away 6 months ago unexpectedly and I have been trying to continue to work and carry on so that I can be a role model for my kids but reading this I believe I do need to take a day a week whilst the kids are at school and daycare to find my own solitude and recharge so I am better for them. It is really about being brave enough to find that solitude for me.
Mike says
Great posts as usual except for the last point
Please don’t attract the gullible god botherers
Spiritualism is one thing but organised religion is a very different beast.
Samantha says
I am not any labelled religion. I am spiritual in that the idea of God to me is my highest self/ consciousness that I spend my lifetime trying to seek. I am happy to say I’ve made peace with any religious ideas coming directly up in my life. I have no judgement except that we all walk our own path & that as a human species, we all have similar journeys & ends, just through different means & ideas.
Having said this, what got through to me most in this post was every other idea listed. The thought that a “God” exists that is external or not part of me is not an idea I embrace, so to me, it is implied in all other points. I think that listening to our bodies and higher consciousness is what is most important & that is why rational minimalism is what I was missing for so long. To only carry what we need & a few extras through life is true freedom. It gives me time & opportunity to explore myself instead of focusing on meaningless “things” & visual clutter.
Fernanda says
I re-post in:http://shareforthefuture.wordpress.com/2013/09/18/quietude-onde-sua-vida-esta-esperando/
Josh says
Great post!
I just want to say thank you for what you do on this blog. Since recently ‘converting’ to minimalism back in June, I have learned a lot about myself and about life… and I can safely say that I have never looked back, not even once! Every day I learn a little bit more about what it means to live simply and with intention, and your blog has been a constant source of support and positivity for me as I strive to find myself in a world filled with friends, family members, and aquaintances who simply don’t seem to understand the concept or what it really means.
Of course, as I move forward I realize more and more that what others think of my choice to live a minimalist lifestyle is inconsequential, but I will say that I am extremely grateful for your blog, not only because it gives me a sense of community and a connection with other minimalists, but also because it encourages me to continue to get to know myself for what I really am and for what I really want in a world where we are constantly told who to be by everyone else.
Anyway, long story short, I just want to return some of the encouragement, and to say thank you for doing what you do on this blog. I read every post, and I learn something new and positive about myself every time I contemplate your words and think about how they might apply to my own life. I believe that you are a very enlightened human being, and I am very thankful for the work that you do on becomingminimalist.com
Have a great day!
Josh
Amelia T says
I agree that the final point doesn’t quite make sense. If you are not spiritual, it is unlikely that you will be put more in touch with God. I have no religion and I think the last point could perhaps slightly alienate people of no religion or of other religions. Not all minimalists are Christians or believe in a God but we can still find solitude and reflect in our own ways.
Karen @ Journey towards simplicity says
I agree- very good statements and advice except that last point doesn’t quite resonate in the same manner as the others. Being spiritual doesn’t require a God or a religion. My hunch is if this older blog post could be edited or revised- it probably would have – and it might be better understood and accepted if the word spiritual was replaced by religious or God was replaced by some sort of “higher power” or “universal energy”. But then again any label or term for this will be limiting and potentially alienating. I do sense however the sentiment of this blog post is not judgmental or exclusionary- but kind and generous :)
Amelia T says
Exactly what I was meaning Karen. :)
Tori says
Spirituality and religion aren’t the same thing. So talking about if you’re spiritual and you want to talk to God isn’t really correct. And God is just one thing. Their might be Buddha, Allah, Mother Earth, or simply Spirit.
K says
“God” seems to be a generic term for “what is in accordance with your nature” nowadays. Maybe you can just reconnect with your actual human nature and the actual nature of this world (the non-shaped/traditional one).
JSR says
I love this post. I LOVE solitude. I crave it a lot. I don’t mind being around others, mind you, and need that human contact, but being alone is often my desire. My friends and most of my family sometimes find my ability and desire to do things alone strange. Its often hard for me to convince them that I don’t MIND doing such and such alone. But it’s just a part of who I am. Its something I believe that God placed in me.
Inmy says
Some people are actually afraid to spend time with themselves. (NOT ME – I love it). I think sometimes people are afraid to go places & do things alone because they need the opinions of others to validate them & their experiences. Maybe they’re not trusting or are afraid of their own thoughts….and need someone else to tell them what to think.
Theo says
I really like yours and all the comments. the opinion of others, so powerful an influence over what we do. one of the major obstacles. what will they think if I go here or do this on my own? they may think something is wrong with me so I’ll go with someone else when I prefer to be alone or just give in and not go at all. what nonsense we put ourselves through.