I write these words for everyone in the world except for one person. This post is for the 7.52 billion people who are not the richest person in the world. In other words, Elon Musk, if you are reading, this is not for you.
To everyone else, I have some news:
Someone in the world has more than you, get used to it.
I once read a fascinating statistic about millionaires who lost their wealth. A survey was conducted of people who once had a net worth of $2 million, but now are worth less than $1 million. When asked how they lost half their fortune, 40% responded, “We started hanging out with people worth $10 million, and we lost our money trying to match their spending.”
The study, which I read years and years ago, has always stuck with me. It reveals an important truth:
There is always going to be someone in the world with more than you and trying to keep up with them is a losing battle. Because there will always be someone else ahead of you in the game.
- There is a co-worker in your office who has more than you.
- There is a neighbor down the street who has more than you.
- Someone at your church or community group has more than you.
- There is a family at your kid’s school who has more than you.
- And we all know there is someone on television right now who has more than you.
That is always going to be the case (except for you Elon).
Now, it seems to me there are only a couple of responses we can have to this reality:
1. We get jealous and envious and bitter that someone has more.
2. We accept it and decide to find happiness with what we have.
The clear choice for a joyful and happy life is #2.
But too often, we choose #1.
As a result, we spend much our time comparing our things to other people. We compare the size of our house, the year of our automobile, the brand of our clothing, our last vacation destination, the age of our retirement, or our paycheck with the person next to us.
Unfortunately, there is no joy to be found in these comparisons. Ever. Because there is always going to be someone with more.
There is no contentment to be found in comparing our stuff with other people. You may think that once you own a fancy house or nice car like so-and-so, you’ll be happy. But that’s simply not the case because there is always going to be someone else to compare yourself to… always a bigger house, a more prestigious neighborhood, or a fancier model car to own.
There is no end to the comparison game. There is always, always going to be someone in the world with more.
I fear making sweeping generalizations, but I am going to for the sake of argument.
If you are reading these words, your needs are met. You have clothes and food and shelter.
You may not have the most expensive clothes in the world, you may not eat at the fanciest restaurants, and you may not live in the biggest house on your block. But your needs are being met.
In fact, I may take this moment to declare another truth. Not only is there someone in this world with more than you, there is someone in this world with less than you.
There is someone in this world with less than you who is perfectly content and happy because they have chosen to be happy right where they are, rather than comparing their lives to someone with more.
There is someone in the world with more than you. But you have many reasons to be grateful. And you have everything you need to find happiness. So stop comparing.
Janet says
Love this. Someone has more than you. Someone else has less for you. It’s time to be joyful about what we do have.
Cheryl says
Thank you ! I SO agree !
S Jacob says
You speak the truth and I couldn’t agree with you more. As I have adopted minimalism and hygge (Hygge-lism). I have gotten very good at replying with option #2. A funny thing has started to happen, I have become noticeably more happy and relaxed and the I have found that the comparison game has had its table turned. Coworkers who are better off than I, have started to emulate what I do to “try and keep up” so to speak.
Mary says
Comparison is the thief of Joy!
Susie says
Love it and so true! Thanks Joshua
ChuckY says
My wife and I were successful and able to retire somewhat early (her at 56 and me four years later at 60). We have more than most in this country but the majority of people would never know it. We live below our means (very nicely but still below) and we prefer to hang out with people who are, let’s just say, more grounded. We always say that if there is something we truly want that our assets will not allow for, then we will go to work for it. Thankfully we have never found that “something” and I don’t believe we ever will.
Angela says
Yes, us too. So glad we did.
We were never into chasing ‘stuff’.
It’s paid off
Kay Stewart says
Love this!!! May I quote you? Kay
joshua becker says
Almost certainly. Where are you hoping to use the quote?
Betty Barkley says
Wow, so many great stories. I used to work as an LPN in a hospital. A few of my co-workers used to complain about things that were not perfect at the hospital. Some were valid and some were not. I always thought that they should go work in a third world country for a period of time. Perhaps upon their return they would realize how fortunate we are in so many different ways. Also watch a movie about the holocaust and you really are grateful for what you have. I have a roof over my head, a warm home, food to eat, and I drive an older car that still works great. I also have great neighbors. I am very thankful for what I have! Thanks again for the stories.
Margaret says
Amen! I live in one of the small original houses on a block of teardowns. I love this little house! Sometimes when you have less $ you become creative and resourceful:) i.e. since we did not have $ in the budget for new concrete front steps, we painted a “rug” on the front porch–looks great! So many people stop to admire it! I like our neighbors in the big houses, very nice families; and, hey, they have room to host the neighborhood Christmas party!
Kate Daniel says
Great essay; thank you! The sentence about ‘someone has less than you’ is an important addition to the overall perspective you’re presenting, I think. (I also think that some of the comments here misunderstood your point; they reflect true poverty, i.e., not having essential needs met.) I’ve personally known a multi-millionaire (my client) who was anxious because he felt he didn’t have “enough.” I’ve known a part-time, self-employed math tutor (a friend) who chose a simple lifestyle far below what he otherwise could have attained who was completely content with having much less than his peers. The contrast between these two was a huge lesson for me. For me, the bottom line is that gratitude – in and of itself – is the key to contentment and a sense of abundance. It can be practiced and developed. To paraphrase the old saying: ‘the rich person is the one who is satisfied with what s/he has, and who knows that enough is enough…’