“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang
It was in this video from Jeff Shinabarger that I first heard the phrase, “‘Busy’ has become the new ‘Fine’.” As in, when you ask somebody how they were doing, they used to answer, “Fine.” But nowadays, everybody answers, “Busy.”
Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.
But is the state of busy really improving our lives? Certainly not. Statistics indicate 75% of parents are too busy to read to their children at night. There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities. Americans are having a hard time finding opportunity for vacations these days. 33% of Americans are living with extreme stress daily. And nearly 50% of Americans say they regularly lie awake at night because of stress. This is a problem. We have become too busy.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Busy is not inevitable. (tweet that)
Each of us can take intentional steps to unbusy our lives.
Consider this Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy:
1. Realize that being busy is a choice. It is a decision we make. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. The first, and most important, step to becoming less busy is to simply realize that our schedules are determined by us. We do have a choice in the matter. We don’t have to live busy lives.
2. Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, directed at the wrong pursuits, it is actually a limiting factor to our full potential. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.
3. Appreciate and schedule rest. One of the reasons many of us keep busy schedules is we fail to recognize the value of rest. But rest is beneficial to our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Set aside one day per week for rest and family. Intentionally schedule it on your calendar. Then, guard it at all costs.
4. Revisit your priorities. Become more intentional with your priorities and pursuits in life. Determine again what are the most significant contributions you can offer this world. And schedule your time around those first. Busyness is, at its core, about misplaced priorities.
5. Own fewer possessions. The things we own take up far more time and mental energy than we realize. They need to be cleaned, organized, and maintained. And the more we own, the more time is required. Own less stuff. And find more time because of it.
6. Cultivate space in your daily routine. Take time for lunch. Find space in your morning to sit quietly before starting your day. Invest in solitude, meditation, or yoga. Find opportunity for breaks at work in between projects. Begin right away cultivating little moments of space and margin in your otherwise busy day.
7. Find freedom in the word, “no.” Seneca wrote, “Everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed by a man who is preoccupied with many things.” Recognize the inherent value in the word “no.” Learning to say “no” to less important commitments opens your life to pursue the most important.
Busy does not need to define you. Unbusy is possible. It’s okay to be happy with a calm life. And doesn’t that sound wonderful right about now?
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Further Reading
Mike@WeOnlyDoThisOnce says
Mapping out your day-to-day often exposes loopholes which you can take advantage of to get a breather or two.
Melissa says
You have some good points but unfortunately lost me a bit with “There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities.” I don’t believe those activities by themselves are the problem and am offended that you look down on all “day care” kids. Being “busy” can be viewed as a good thing by some as long as it doesn’t reach the point where it is stress inducing. Hard work can also be a good thing.
NB says
I had the same reaction
Diane says
I agree and that was my first thought too! I don’t put my children in daycare because I am too busy. They are there because I have a job that I require to earn money for the things my family NEEDS, not extra stuff I don’t need.
Elaine says
+100
My first thought as well. I don’t work for “more things.” I work because I love what I do, and my kid loves his daycare. Frankly, my life is less busy/stressful because I have awesome caretakers for my kids during the day. Constantly coming up with ways to entertain them would stress me out!
Becky says
Agree!! I was ready to read a nice article, because I agree with the author that I can’t stand people who basically brag about how busy they are…then had to throw out the daycare comment. Working moms get enough crap about our choices from our hairdressers, strangers sitting next to us on the plane, etc.
Tito says
The use of time is so important, techniques like Pomodoro can improve that, and you will have more time to use in things that really matter. Programming tasks and focus can help dramatically. I think focus is the key
Andrew says
…The tag at the top of this post is “Own less. Live more.” Living “more” would require being more busy. Busy doesn’t always mean busy working. I have the privilege of doing what i love for a living so I am frequently “busy” having fun. Sometimes saying “I’m busy” means that you’ve chosen to say yes to the right things and are now saying no to the wrong things… simply because you’re to busy doing the right things, following the right opportunities.
Brooke McAlary says
I get what you’re saying, Andrew. And there is a delicate (and ultimately individual) balance to strike between hard work and down time. If we don’t work hard then we probably won’t progress or succeed in the ways we would like.
But I personally read the post as rallying against the idea of being busy simply for the sake of being busy. Complaining about all the meetings/committments/tasks/whatevers that people have on their schedule, all the while not taking ownership of those committments.
We all have a lot to do – with work, home or child-raising – but, like Kimberley said above, doing a lot is different to being perpetually busy.
Andrew says
Sure, of course it is “OK” to not be busy. It’s OK to be busy too. Sacrificing rest to improve your future is a common practice of successful people. I would say that it is absolutely a “badge of honor”. I admire many hard working people. I also recognize the value of rest. I frequently sense a tinge of jealousy in people that dislike the phrase “i’m busy”. Rather than be happy for those that are busy working hard on something that they love some people just get jealous and distant. That is not the fault or responsibility of the busy person. It’s a personal problem for the jealous person.
Ana says
Today I wrote about the same thing on my blog: it’s really ok to be happy with a calm life! I used to be super busy but now I am just the opposite and I love it! :)
Ana says
Today I wrote about the same thing on my blog: it’s really ok to be happy with a calm life! I used to be super busy but now I am just the opposite and I love it! :)
Myrko Thum says
I really enjoy the message of your post here, Joshua. I think at it’s core lies the limiting belief that busy is admirable and therefore the ego feels worthy being busy. Society is powering this belief (busy is the “new” nice). So re-evaluating this belief is the key to change the busy lifestyle. This post is a good start at that!
Cheers,
Myrko
Jodelieh Blue says
thank you for the post. As a full time mom it is easy to get busy all day long. I used to say that I work from midnight till midnight.
Indeed being busy is a choice and I am choosing different. I am writing again, go to the gym and enjoy time with my little girls. Thank you for making me aware!
Ruby says
Any tips on how to carve out me time as a mom to a toddler? I find its busy from 12-12 too as a SAHMOM. I need to care for me more so I can mother better. I need to need & want less, and enjoy what I already have.
David says
My office mates pride themselves on how busy they are, complaining about all of the meetings they are in and how far behind they are while at the same time wearing it as some sort of badge of honor. I learned years ago that was the fast path to burning out.