“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang
It was in this video from Jeff Shinabarger that I first heard the phrase, “‘Busy’ has become the new ‘Fine’.” As in, when you ask somebody how they were doing, they used to answer, “Fine.” But nowadays, everybody answers, “Busy.”
Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.
But is the state of busy really improving our lives? Certainly not. Statistics indicate 75% of parents are too busy to read to their children at night. There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities. Americans are having a hard time finding opportunity for vacations these days. 33% of Americans are living with extreme stress daily. And nearly 50% of Americans say they regularly lie awake at night because of stress. This is a problem. We have become too busy.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Busy is not inevitable. (tweet that)
Each of us can take intentional steps to unbusy our lives.
Consider this Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy:
1. Realize that being busy is a choice. It is a decision we make. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. The first, and most important, step to becoming less busy is to simply realize that our schedules are determined by us. We do have a choice in the matter. We don’t have to live busy lives.
2. Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, directed at the wrong pursuits, it is actually a limiting factor to our full potential. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.
3. Appreciate and schedule rest. One of the reasons many of us keep busy schedules is we fail to recognize the value of rest. But rest is beneficial to our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Set aside one day per week for rest and family. Intentionally schedule it on your calendar. Then, guard it at all costs.
4. Revisit your priorities. Become more intentional with your priorities and pursuits in life. Determine again what are the most significant contributions you can offer this world. And schedule your time around those first. Busyness is, at its core, about misplaced priorities.
5. Own fewer possessions. The things we own take up far more time and mental energy than we realize. They need to be cleaned, organized, and maintained. And the more we own, the more time is required. Own less stuff. And find more time because of it.
6. Cultivate space in your daily routine. Take time for lunch. Find space in your morning to sit quietly before starting your day. Invest in solitude, meditation, or yoga. Find opportunity for breaks at work in between projects. Begin right away cultivating little moments of space and margin in your otherwise busy day.
7. Find freedom in the word, “no.” Seneca wrote, “Everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed by a man who is preoccupied with many things.” Recognize the inherent value in the word “no.” Learning to say “no” to less important commitments opens your life to pursue the most important.
Busy does not need to define you. Unbusy is possible. It’s okay to be happy with a calm life. And doesn’t that sound wonderful right about now?
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Further Reading
Lena says
It is not at easy as that. How do you say No at work when we are in an economic crisis and your employer will sack you if you don’t do the extra work? How are you going to pay for your daily food and living costs? How do you find more time when you spend 12 hours commuting and working every day? When you come home exhausted and collapse in a heap only to do it again the next day, because there are no local jobs and you have to work to gain money? How do you sit down and do nothing, when you have family across the world who rely on you to send them money or things to survive in their lives? You have a responsibility towards others. The attitude of this article of saying no, ‘relaxing’, doing less, go agains the principles of finding solutions to our global problems, it sounds more like a selfish act of thinking just of oneself and ignoring the person next to you who needs help. These pieces of advice above do not solve our problems of being busy.
Debbie says
This message is great! Reading everyone’s comments gave me a new perspective on my own life. I consider myself too busy quite often, and yet when I look at what other people are doing I feel like I’m getting nothing done and therefore not living up to my potential or something. Even though I think myself way too busy, I do have time to read, have solitude, play and read with my children, and I have few stressful days. These are things I refuse to cut back on. All those projects that seem to be looming over me since we started having kids 7 years ago, have waited all this time, and our lives have not fallen apart. So then, are they really very important? I feel I have even more to be thankful for.
Erin says
Terrific message, I wish I would have heard it fifteen years ago! So often I think this addiction to busy-ness starts when we are in school or just get our first jobs….
Karen says
My busy-ness stems from the desire to have a more inviting region in the rural area I live in for my 24-year old daughter who has Rett syndrome. Options and choices for people who have intellectual and developmental disabilities are extremely limited and nothing at present seems a good match for someone who needs assistance throughout her day, cannot speak or care for herself, but who understands at a rather mature level. Then, there’s the never-ending reality that most people just ‘don’t get it’ with special needs, and resources and services are their own struggle… so I’ve joined an organization to work at making progress. Little improvements have come about in eight years, but how do I shut off this busy? Low functioning people with I/DD do not attract the amount of volunteer effort as other programs… It’s hard to describe, but my mind is distracted on any given day with questions of where will my daughter live and who will be her loving, caring friends when she’s my age. I love this post and blog site, just can’t seem to unload this busy-ness the way I’d like.
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Helen says
I love this article. We need to stop and think and take moments to rest, and let the brain process and digest the day, not throw more information and stuff at it!
We try and encourage people to create a special space where they can reconnect to their inner self, the inner voice is the quiet one and the wisest one.
Thank you
Mikel says
I love this phrase, because I value wisdom. Thanks for bringing it into my awareness! :-)
Rebecca says
A beautiful post that helps redirect a busy life to a full one. It’s not about doing less, but rather choosing what’s important and giving those priorities enough “white space” or margin that they retain their significance. On #7, I’ve learned that saying “yes” to one thing always says “no” to another. If I can discern what I’m losing by saying “yes,” it often frees me to say “no”.
Kim says
I find it very hard to not be busy. Especially since I am trying to turn into a minimalist.
I work from home, so I’m trying to keep my business going plus do all the housework, shopping for food, clothes…, cook, weed the garden, exercise, pay bills… and now on top of that I am trying to squeeze in time each day to de-clutter my basement (a major undertaking, and there are closets and drawers and cabinets awaiting their turn). I often feel guilty at the end of the day because I didn’t have time to walk my dog. So, I don’t know how to not be busy. But I am tired of the frantic pace of just trying to keep up with everything.
Ruth says
I know it can be very overwhelming all the household tasks when you are working too. Have you thought of outsourcing some things. ie weeding. Also I found shopping once a fortnight helped me save time. A few other tips..Food shop online and get it delivered, cooking 2 meals at once and freeze one for another night, automatic payment of bills online, getting kids to help (if you have them) with some tasks like housework, weeding, walking the dog. Maybe you can combine some tasks (walk the dog for exercise).
Can you enlist the help of family or friends to watch kids so you have a day free to get really stuck into the basement de-clutter?
Also, if I have extra things on I try to minimize the housework. ie how long can something be left until it REALLY needs to be cleaned. This is not ideal for long-term, but can help relieve some-short term stress.
Definitely try to allocate a few jobs to other family members if possible to share the load.
All the best!!
Jennifer K says
LOVE this post. I’ll be linking to/sharing it! Too much stress and/or too much busy-ness is health-damaging. And how much is “too much” is different for each person. Adrenal burnout is a very real danger, I suspect many people are suffering from it and don’t know it. Bad part is, it only gets worse if you don’t change something, and the worse it gets, the harder it is to find someone who knows how to help you get better. Life can be simpler. Our culture makes it so complicated. I am much happier with a calm life. Also, my kids are 12 and 10 and they still love to be read to at night. We have shared some wonderful book adventures because of it!