“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” ― Lin Yutang
It was in this video from Jeff Shinabarger that I first heard the phrase, “‘Busy’ has become the new ‘Fine’.” As in, when you ask somebody how they were doing, they used to answer, “Fine.” But nowadays, everybody answers, “Busy.”
Seemingly, busy has become the default state for too many of our lives.
But is the state of busy really improving our lives? Certainly not. Statistics indicate 75% of parents are too busy to read to their children at night. There is a rising number of children being placed in day cares and after-school activities. Americans are having a hard time finding opportunity for vacations these days. 33% of Americans are living with extreme stress daily. And nearly 50% of Americans say they regularly lie awake at night because of stress. This is a problem. We have become too busy.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Busy is not inevitable. (tweet that)
Each of us can take intentional steps to unbusy our lives.
Consider this Helpful Guide to Becoming Unbusy:
1. Realize that being busy is a choice. It is a decision we make. We are never forced into a lifestyle of busyness. The first, and most important, step to becoming less busy is to simply realize that our schedules are determined by us. We do have a choice in the matter. We don’t have to live busy lives.
2. Stop the glorification of busy. Busy, in and of itself, is not a badge of honor. In fact, directed at the wrong pursuits, it is actually a limiting factor to our full potential. It is okay to not be busy. Repeat this with me: It is okay to not be busy.
3. Appreciate and schedule rest. One of the reasons many of us keep busy schedules is we fail to recognize the value of rest. But rest is beneficial to our bodies, our minds, and our souls. Set aside one day per week for rest and family. Intentionally schedule it on your calendar. Then, guard it at all costs.
4. Revisit your priorities. Become more intentional with your priorities and pursuits in life. Determine again what are the most significant contributions you can offer this world. And schedule your time around those first. Busyness is, at its core, about misplaced priorities.
5. Own fewer possessions. The things we own take up far more time and mental energy than we realize. They need to be cleaned, organized, and maintained. And the more we own, the more time is required. Own less stuff. And find more time because of it.
6. Cultivate space in your daily routine. Take time for lunch. Find space in your morning to sit quietly before starting your day. Invest in solitude, meditation, or yoga. Find opportunity for breaks at work in between projects. Begin right away cultivating little moments of space and margin in your otherwise busy day.
7. Find freedom in the word, “no.” Seneca wrote, “Everybody agrees that no one pursuit can be successfully followed by a man who is preoccupied with many things.” Recognize the inherent value in the word “no.” Learning to say “no” to less important commitments opens your life to pursue the most important.
Busy does not need to define you. Unbusy is possible. It’s okay to be happy with a calm life. And doesn’t that sound wonderful right about now?
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Further Reading
Cat says
There are many who dont have the luxury of taking a day to themselves…single working parents for example. A blog entry for them prob. would be nice. Im not a single parent but I can only imagine how hard things are for them. Even carving out minutes here and there for themselves is a huge challenge. To those that have people commenting on how they wished they had the privilege of free time…when they see you taking it…say thank you..it was a necessary change for my sanity. It’s amazing how many will share about their stress. We live by example. Not always easy and not every attempt is successful (life just gets in the way sometimes) but the effort needs to be there if you want change to happen regularly. A little rest goes a long way…baby steps.
Ivana says
I loved this post! And the truth is I am always busy :) But in the last 10 years I went from busy (worried-stress like busy) to busy doing things I love! I am very active, and I am always looking for things and projects that inspire me and recharge my energy. So, in between moments dedicated to work, I also read posts like this :) or go outside and eat a fruit under the sun, or stop working and go for a walk of +7 km in the park, go to the gym, volunteer for causes that are dear to me, do yoga, go to the gym, write… I also have time to enjoy family and friends along the week. Busy for me is a choice, absolutely! There is sooo much I want to do, experience, soak in, that I am definitely busy, but in my case, I don’t feel it as an excuse for hiding out. I am a freelancer by choice (love my work!), and all of my other activities (no stress, I just choose to do them and do not them if I don’t feel like it) are in my schedule because I choose to have them. Being a freelancer also lets me take naps no matter the time or place! So that’s nice, too. I agree “busy” should not be the new “fine” in the way this article puts it, but in my case, I know I am busy and it definitely means more than just fine –it’s creative, it’s expansive, it’s fun!
Nena says
God has already scheduled one day per week for our rest. He blessed it and called it Sabbath. You should try His rest ‘just because He says so’ , if ‘because I need it’ is not compelling enough. Its a good first step towards managing and prioritising our time.
lisa says
I really appreciate this thoughts…but I think you’ve to be able even to be unbusy…I mean…someone (like me time ago) forced his or herself to be unbusy, but the free time was always full of thought about what should I do, what should I say, and so on. Now I’m learnig how to be quiet and therefore unbusy with yoga, meditation and buddism…I had a so busy mind before that I had to learn how to “clean” it…hope everyone will find his/her way!
jim says
I disagree. Unbusiness sounds like lazy to me especially when you have little ones. They need and deserve your energy. If you’re just using the “I’m so busy” excuse to look like you’re important at work – then I agree – that’s total b.s. But there are real times in life when you had better be more than willing to bust your a## for the sake of your children, elders, neighbors, etc. You blow any of them off ’cause “you don’t FEEL like being busy” – karma is going to come back and bite you.
Patty says
I am drawn to the ideas in this post, but am not sure all of them are realistic for everyone. I get the sense that most people who are enthusiastic about these ideas, may mostly have themselves to worry about, or maybe just a spouse or toddler. I think it is harder if you have a house full of kids who already have their own interests and activities — that is currently what takes up a good bit of my “spare” time. I can’t exactly say “sorry daughter, I know you have worked really hard to get to this level of playing soccer, but I’m tired of driving you around — so we are going to quit.” Of course one could say, well — don’t get involved in travel soccer (girl scouts, odyssey of the mind, karate, whatever) in the first place! If you don’t have children yet, or only toddlers, warning! — this is easier said than done. Kid’s activities start out as very manageable; 1 practice a week (1 hr) and a game on Saturday (45 min) — easy! and they are having fun!. But if they are good at it, and in fact love it, and have a “never quit” attitude — it can grow and grow. I try to keep a philosophical approach to it — one of my mantras is “If you say yes to it, embrace it!” because I hate when people commit to something and then whine about it. So I am at a stage of my life that is pretty “busy” by most people’s standards — I teach full time, and then most evenings I drive one or more of my three children to something that they love to do. Each of them only has one main activity, but it is still enough to keep a parent very busy! But on the other hand, I do take a lot of joy out of watching my children’s enjoyment, and we have met some good friends ourselves from many weekends sitting together on the sidelines. I guess this long rambling post is just to say, a lot of it is mindset. For me, the avoidance of stress is the key, not the avoidance of busy-ness. I try to maintain a calm center, even in the midst of a busy life. I think the time will come, in about 6-8 years, when I will have a much less busy lifestyle. It will be interesting to see if I feel relieved, or, more likely I think, if I will miss it.
Katie says
Thank you very much for your post. I’m on the other side of your 5 years, but I’m headed towards your process. I have felt guilty to have downtime and not accomplish anything. But as you said and your responders said, this is the guts of life and we need it to be able to think clearly. I’m also someone who rarely says no, and if I do, it’s in a defensive way. I want to move forward and get some down time and reassess all of my priorities.
Thank you again!
Ali Davies says
I think part of the challenge is that many people confuse being busy with being productive. So not only are people over busy, but it is often on stuff that isn’t what is most important stuff or in aligning with their core values. In order to redress the balance I think we each need to reject busy as the norm and get back in touch with the real pace of life.
Tammy says
Lena, I don’t know your circumstances. It sounds like from your comment that you are having to support your family from a far. I relate to that feeling of responsibility because I was the same way and still am. However I approach my responsibility in a different way now. I am an attorney and 2years ago I was in the same boat. I worked for my self. I put in long hours and the stress was unreal. I got to the point were I would come home and just sit in the recliner and do nothing. There were times I would come home and cry because some of my cases were so upsetting. When I was with family and friends I would be there physically but mentally I would be thinking about what I needed to do next on the current cases I was working on. That caused a lot of guilt for me. I finally talked to my family about the situation because it had gotten so bad. Every single one of them told me to quit! That is saying a lot because both my daughters worked for me so if I quit they lose their income. My husband would become the primary bread winner. My parents and sibling can’t brag about having a daughter/sister that is an attorney. Not that they thought like that but I did not want to embarrass they by giving up. It has been 2 years since I started transitioning out of law. It has taken that long to finish my cases. Next year I will be starting my new life. I have made a commitment to not let my choice in career overwhelm me again. Family has always been important to me so they are always at the center of my decisions, along with God. I can honestly say that my life has never been better and I know that my family is just as happy with my decision. I realized that my family just wanted me to be happy. They did not care about all that other stuff. I have a better relationship with my husband. He’s no longer a strange man that lives with me but my best friend. I get to spend more time with my parents who are getting up in age. They love it also, there is nothing like your parents greeting you with a smile when you go to see them. I get to pick my grand kids up from daycare on a regular basis. Nothing like hugs from small chubby arms and great big smiles. My point is that maybe you need to have a talk with your family. Sometimes what you may think they want is not what they really want. If you have already done that and they are saying a resounding yes you need to keep working then maybe you need to think of a different way to make money so that you can make the money needed to support them but at the same time enjoy your life. I’ve always read that if you are going to do something for a large part of your day then it needs to be something you love. I am a firm believer in that now. I’ve tried to have a JOB that did not work so I am going with something that I have always dreamed of instead. I’ve never been happier and my family is the same way. What I got from the post was not laziness but instead what is important to each individual. Some want to sleep til noon. If they want to do that and all their obligations are being met then so be it. If someone feels that they want to spend more time with family instead of working a ridiculous amount of time then they should be able to do so. If someone wants to follow a dream but that dream means less income then they should be able to do that. I get a strong impression from your comment that you are very angry and frustrated with your life. As a mother/grandmother/sister/sibling and from a place of love and acceptance I encourage you to look at your life and see what is important to you and then speak to your family. You may be surprised! I wish you the best!
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