“Don’t think you’re on the right road just because it’s a well-beaten path.” – Author Unknown
I made a significant decision when I was young that I have never regretted. Simply put, I decided that I did not have to live my life like everyone else. I would live my own life. I would pursue things of lasting value rather than the newest fads of society chased by everyone else.
It sounds simple enough. Yet, countless multitudes will never make that decision.
Instead, they will succumb to the pressure to conform. They will live their life purchasing the trendiest products and fashion released to the masses – not because they actually need them, but just because their neighbors bought them. They will base many of their life decisions on the celebrity spokespersons’ pitch of the day. They will waste their energy trying to keep up with the Joneses.. all for the elusive purpose of conformity. And in exchange, they will lose their life and forfeit their soul.
Decide today to live your life. You do not need to live life like everyone else. Your life is far too valuable to be wasted on the life that everyone else is choosing.
Here are a few steps that I have found to be very helpful. Use them to get you started (or continue you along):
1. Celebrate your uniqueness. Your life was never meant to be lived like everyone else. You don’t look the same, you don’t sound the same, and your personality is special. Your deep-held values are unique. Even your laugh sets you apart. Throwing that away just for the sake of looking and living like everyone else is one of the cruelest things that you can ever do – it will always prevent you from fully living your life. Instead, champion the things that make you unique. Celebrate them.
2. Realize that most peoples’ lives are heading toward destruction. Just consider the latest statistics. For example: Last year, on average, Americans carried $8,100 in consumer credit (not mortgage debt) – that is $8,100 for every man, woman, and child in America. It’s no wonder 46% of Americans say they suffer from debt-related stress. And according to the American Medical Association, stress is a factor in more than 75% of sickness today. In addition, The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that soon “50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.” One of the leading factors? You got it, financial problems.
3. Accept the truth that there is a better life out there. Reading through the statistics above, one can not help but say, “There must be something better out there.” There is and there always has been. Unfortunately, most people are so busy tripping over each other to purchase culture’s newest release that they miss out completely on the better life. Do not be fooled. The better life is not being mass-produced in a factory… you won’t find it on the shelves in a department store. It has never been found there. And never will be.
4. Identify your values and allow them to guide your life. Grab a piece of paper and pencil. Across the top write, “What I most want to accomplish in life.” Begin making a list. Post that list some where that you will notice it every single morning. Allow it to shape your life. Base your decisions about time, energy, and money on those values. Allow them to guide your life even when they take you down a narrower road than everyone else.
5. Find a mentor that you admire. Surely you are not alone in your desire to live a better, more fulfilling life. Others have traveled the same road prior to you. Seek them out because you will need to look hard for them – they are uncommon. Perhaps they are in your family, your organization, your spirituality, or on your library shelves. Whether in person or through their writings, soak up as much as you can from them. Learn from them and be inspired by them. Follow their life, not the masses.
6. Reflect, reflect, reflect. Regularly pull away to meditate, contemplate, and reflect. An unexamined life is not worth living because the pull to conform has always been too great. Our lives will always “drift” in the direction of conformity if we lose our directional bearings. Withdraw often. Review your list of values and reflect on the current trajectory of your life. Is it headed towards the end you desire… or just following the easy road of everyone else?
Your life is valuable. It is the greatest asset you own. It holds potential for great things. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it just like everyone else. It is not a worthy trade.
Susana says
I’ve owned a tube TV for the past 13 years, the reason why is because I’m a strong supporter of reuse-reduce-recycle. It puzzled me how people would get rid of an electronic device just to get the latest flat screen, and now they trade their flat screen for bigger and bigger ones. My tube TV serves the pupose: to play DVD’s because I don’t pay for cable, and not because I can’t afford it but because I realized years ago watching TV put me in a state of depression. Watching other people’s life while sitting on your couch makes YOUR life slowly trickle away. Commercials, even if you mute them now they have text, plus the imagery they are a constant reminder of all the things you don’t have, could have and “need”. All that consumerism is garbage. I realized I didn’t need any of it and slowly started a purging process in May 2012. I’m glad I found this page, you help me keep strong, and keep moving towards my goal of becoming a true minimalist with an upcycler twist :)
Beth says
I love going against the grain!
Gavin says
Great post! Personally I feel point 5. Find a mentor that you admire. is the most important. In fact I would suggest that you find one to look upon for every area of you life. Thanks for the inspiration.
Annette says
Hi Gavin and everyone – any thoughts or suggestions around some ways to meet a mentor, or even just others with this same mindset? I find it very difficult sometimes, and I have phases where I really struggle to connect with others on this point :/ any feedback would be welcome, thanks!
Ann says
Amen! Über enlightening post! I’m tired of the obnoxious joneses…. Beginning to live fad free….
Jill says
What a perfect post to help promote “Chaos Control” among my readers. LIfe does get to hectic and we start to look for peace, happiness and value in the wrong places.
Thank you for educating us on the simple steps we can take to decrease our stress and improve our relationships.
Jill says
What a perfect post to help promote “Chaos Control” among my readers. LIfe does get to hectic and we start to look for peace, happiness and value in the wrong places.
Thanks for sharing!
Lotta says
HALLELUJAH!
I am so happy to say I have been finding Me all over again. A happier, clearer, purpose driven me without the accroutrements considered essential to be one of “them”.
What a wonderful post – keep it up Joshua x
J says
What a wonderful post! You worded it so perfectly.
This is a battle I’ve been struggling with for so long – living like everyone else makes me so unhappy, yet it can be so scary to be the only one in many that’s different. Only recently have I really come to terms with myself and decided, no, I Will be unique whether or not others like it – because it suits ME.
You have some good pieces of advice, and in terms of finding a mentor – well there is a great one right here :) I’ve found this blog very inspiring. Thank you for sharing :)
Kris says
I learned long ago that possessions don’t make you happy. Sometimes they even drag you down. And they often collect dust and need cleaning and organising. Less time possessions means less time spent on maintaining/cleaning them and more time to enjoy life.
Yeeha I’m going minimalist. Just gotta convince the kiddos.
Gip @ So Much More Life says
I’ve been a non-conforming weirdo all my life, and I enjoy it more everyday. It’s no fun being like everyone else.
This, of course, comes from the guy whose blog looks a lot like yours –although not quite as much as it used to.