When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
Sandy says
I believe happiness comes from the useful things organised in a good manner. Decluttering helps in removing the unwanted extra stuff.
Dominique Boisvert says
Once again, a remarkable analysis that goes to the heart of the matter. Thanks.
With your permission, I’d like to translate it into French in order to publish it (with all due credits) on our website blog: le Carnet des simplicitaires (www.carnet.simplicitevolontaire.org).
Jamie A Shaner says
As a member of both NASMM and NAPO, I think you are spot on in your assessment. I realize that many people have benefited from the Kondo method, but in my 12 years as a professional organizer working with hundreds of clients, I can count on one hand the number of clients who could read her book and adopt her methods.
Here’s a link to my review of her book on my blog: http://www.homesolutionswny.com/2016/05/30/the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up-a-book-review/
With my clients, the “should it stay or should it go?” parameters are:
Do you need it?
Do you use it?
Do you love it?
Do you have the room to appropriately store it?
Stay the course, Joshua. You’ve written a wise and insightful piece here.
Kimberly Carraway says
Many people have found Marie Kondo’s technique useful and have accomplished a great deal of change and life improvement by using it. But after you complete the decluttering process her way, how do you best maintain the changes you’ve made?
I feel that this article suggests a good ‘Step 2’ that might help maintain the less cluttered home and life that many of us desire. It offers a more thought provoking question that can help us look deeper into what we really want from life.
Claudia Sanders says
I enjoyed the article and see a lot of value in it. While minimalism isn’t for everyone, most people can benefit from examining what part owning possessions plays in their life. As a professional organizer, I would like to clarify one thing. The home organization industry does more than “trying to find places for all our excess belongings.” Most of the time I spend with clients is in helping them de-clutter and get rid of things, not just shift them from one location to another. I tell them not to buy any bins or storage items before we work together because once we sort, purge, donate and discard, they frequently don’t need any. The trick is in helping them see that if they continue to acquire, they will end up in the same position. It’s not easy for many to break the habit.
R MacKay says
I’ll wade in here, probably to my detriment. Joshua shares many of my values, namely, possessing only those things that add value or meaning. He recounted during his Decluttering course that he purchased a very nice camera for his daughter. It added great value. He is not really anti-consumerist nor really minimalist, even through his blog is called Becoming Minimalist. I believe he simply encourages us to abandon conspicuous consumerism. We are all consumerists. That in itself is not bad. We consume. We use up. We discard. We all wear clothing and shoes, drive automobiles. But consumerism for the sake of consumerism is not good. It is not healthy. Marie Kondo has propelled a wave of thinking that encourages readers and advocates alike to think more purposefully about what they already own. Joshua takes that further and encourages us to think about why we want to own it in the first place. If it adds value, then so be it.
I think we’d all be surprised if we did that; we’d realize we don’t really need everything we currently have.
In the end, isn’t it all about living a full life, and placing value on people and doing, rather than things. In that sense, I believe that is more the true definition of minimalism.
Andrea Allen says
What a great article! I remember someone in the “Uncluttered Course” community saying “But what if I love every little thing in this house?” Every. Little. Thing. in the house “sparked joy” for this person. Oh, my. My hope for her and for all of us is that we are able to find joy in life beyond the the joy we feel for objects in our homes.
LISA says
The first thought that came to mind when I was reading the beginning of Joshua s article was that he was first off validating Kondos quote. I don’t see how people didnt see that. The question “does it spark joy?” has a purpose. But as he put it, how much does it really effect the trajectory of our lives and possibly other people’s lives.
Annette Lessmann says
This is a provocative post. I am sitting in my bed as I read this and looking around the room. Nine of fifteen necklaces hanging on my wall to my left spark joy for various reasons, my daughter or husband made them or they belonged to my mom before she passed on. Or they were a gift from a friend and I treasure them. In my opinion no jewelry helps me fulfill my purpose in life. Across the room on an antique treadle sewing machine is a recently purchased glass paperweight handblown by a glass artist whom I met, a small basket of rocks and crystals I have collected over the years. And on the wall next to it is a weaving I made in highschool, a recently purchased print from an artist I met online, and a laminated print of different beings sending light to heal the earth. All these things spark joy and help me meditate sitting on the chair next to them.
I lived in a motor home and got used to owning only 8 outfits and three pair of shoes. I like owning few clothes, but I can’t say any of them give me joy or do much of anything but keep me from being arrested for public indecency. I live where clothing is not an option. I own fewer items than anyone I know but I still have to own them.
Right now my physical purpose in life is to take care of my handicapped hubby. My spiritual purpose in life may be different from that. I don’t know. Your posts always get me thinking.
Betsy says
I’ve been reading this blog for a long time. I found it one day looking up how to survive cleaning out 3 homes for relatives that had passed away. It helped me in a major way to begin to pare down my belongings and finally feel like I could breath. I kept what I really used. One day I was having lunch with my daughter and she complimented me on how uncluttered my house looked. She asked me if I had read Marie Kondo’s book which I hadn’t. She gave me her copy. My feeling was that at the age of 60 and my life experiences of purchases put me in a different place than my daughter was at. She was just beginning her journey of feeling like the “stuff” in her life was getting out of hand. I was way past Marie’s book. My point is that there are great books and blogs out there for all to read and we each can get some valuable information that helps us in our journey. I’m grateful for all these authors.