When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
Donna says
A great article Joshua. I agree that Marie ‘sparked’ a lot of interest in minimalism, good for her. I also think you are right in that we need to take it much farther, find deeper reasons for minimalism or we’ll soon fall off track.
Great comments from a very interesting community!
Becky says
I have read Kondo’s book, and the question “does it spark joy?” was always a sticking point for me. There are very few of my possessions that spark joy; those that do generally are those that make my life easier, such as electronics (phone, laptop, tablet), have sentimental value such as photos, or are related to a favorite past time (reading, porch-sitting or swinging, bike riding). I have more difficulty letting go of things I might use again someday, or my kids’ mementos. What “sparks joy” for me these days is having a room decluttered and restful, and having my things organized, both of which are an a ongoing task! I would love to downsize if I could only convince my husband…perhaps our current project of organizing our home office will sway him!
Colleayn says
I love this post. Thank you for writing it. I love Marie Kondo’s work- it has helped me a lot, but what you wrote will help me take the next step to reach my goals. This post comes at perfect timing and your alternative question is what I need to ask- I wouldn’t have come up with it myself. I still have too many things that spark joy. But after looking at them and asking if it helps fulfill a great purpose in my life, it would be a no. Unless my greater purpose is to have pretty things cluttering up and adding noise to my space. :) I don’t think you were disrespectful in any way- to me you offered more building blocks and stepping stones for a peaceful life.
Melanie says
Joshua,
I have been following you for a while now and I can’t thank you enough for your consistent content and message.
This post in particular sums up how I approach my own life and encourage others to do the same. I have always cocked my head at the “does it bring you joy” question, because I find it essentially irrelevant when it comes to clutter and the like. I am currently working on a business that follows that same philosophy. It’s not about joy, it’s about functionality and, ultimately, a bigger purpose.
So, thank you for explaining that in such a way that is transparent and forthright.
Can’t wait to read more!
Melanie
Amy Peikoff says
I love what you do, Joshua, but I think you have a false alternative here. I agree that Kondo is likely asking the wrong question, because it’s possession-focuses, but we can pursue goals that both spark joy within ourselves and light a fire in the world. In fact, I wonder whether it’s actually possible to light a fire in the world without doing something that sparks joy within ourselves. Moreover, as a rational egoist, I think it’s right to ask whether a possession will aid us in the pursuit of something that will spark joy within us–even if that’s all it will do. Still, as I said, your point about Kondo’s question is well taken. Keep up the good work!
Linda Luke says
I love your question! Recently wrote my own post mentioning Marie Kondo and alternate questions, but think yours is the best.
Vicki Nelson says
“Does it spark joy” has bothered me since I first heard that phrase, and I didn’t know why. Now I see it – it implies our stuff is so important, it should make us happy. But the truth is, no amount of stuff ever will. Thank you for this article.
Trudy says
I truly appreciate Joshua’s honest feelings. He shared his “feelings” (feelings are not good or bad) and he backed them up with WHY he felt that way. I’ve also read Kondo’s book and was personally overwhelmed by sooooo much of my stuff that sparked joy – it immobilized me. Thank you Joshua for your perspective and experience. It helped me stay focused on the big picture which will spark far more Joy than all the trinkets I thought I had to contemplate. Joshua is my “chosen” (by me!) Teacher at this point in my process and I hope he continues to honestly share his experience, strength & hope (and opinions!) in order to keep his students (me!) on a higher track to Joy. Btw, I pray, every day, to NOT judge others who have different opinions than me. “Life is a Smorgasbord…. take what you want and leave the rest.”
Julie says
When I read the book one thing I kept thinking of was that for the most part her original audience had a very different perspective to begin with from a cultural standpoint. I would guess that most Japanese people start where most American minimalists are.
Rebecca says
Yes! Yes! Yes!
The only way to BE happy is to GIVE happy, to ourselves sometimes, to our family in service, our friends with our uninterrupted presence, and to people we may never meet with our time, money and talents.
We cannot pursue happiness
We can only give it freely.