“Owning less is far more beneficial than organizing more.” – Twitter / Facebook
We are a culture drowning in our possessions. We take in more and more (holiday, birthdays, sales, needs), but rarely find opportunity to discard of it. As a result, our homes fill up with so much stuff. And because we believe the best solution is to find organizational tools to manage all of it, we seek out bigger containers or more efficient organizational tips and tricks. But simply organizing our stuff (without removing it) is always only a temporary solution. By definition, organizing our possessions is an action that must be repeated over and over and over again.
At its heart, organizing is simply rearranging. And though we may find storage solutions today, we are quickly forced to find new ones as early as tomorrow. Additionally, organizing (without getting rid of our stuff and decluttering) has some other major shortcomings that are rarely considered:
- It doesn’t benefit anyone else. The possessions we rarely use sit on shelves in our basements, attics, and garages… even while some of our closest friends desperately need them.
- It doesn’t solve our debt problems. It never addresses the underlying issue that we just buy too much stuff. In fact, many times, the act of rearranging our stuff even costs us more as we purchase containers, storage units, or larger homes to house it.
- It doesn’t turn back our desire for more. The simple act of organizing our things into boxes, plastic bins, or extra closets doesn’t turn back our desire to purchase more things. The culture-driven inclination to find happiness in our possessions is rarely thwarted in any way through the process.
- It doesn’t force us to evaluate our lives. While rearranging our stuff may cause us to look at each of our possessions, it does not force us to evaluate them—especially if we are just putting them in boxes and closing the lids. On the other hand, removing possessions from our home forces questions of passion, values, and what’s truly most important to us.
- It accomplishes little in paving the way for other changes. Organizing may provide a temporary lift to our attitude. It clears a room and subsequently clears our mind, but rarely paves the way for healthy, major lifestyle changes. Our house is too small, our income is too little, and we still can’t find enough time in the day. We may have rearranged our stuff… but not our lives.
On the other hand, the act of getting rid of stuff from our home accomplishes many of those purposes. It is not a temporary solution that must be repeated. It is an action of permanence—once an item has been removed, it is removed completely. Whether we re-sell our possessions, donate them to charity, or give them to a friend, they are immediately put to use by those who need them.
Removing possessions begins to turn back our desire for more as we find freedom, happiness, and abundance in owning less. And removing ourselves from the all-consuming desire to own more creates opportunity for significant life change to take place.
If you’re struggling with how to get rid of stuff, you can:
1. Challenge yourself to remove the unneeded things in your home.
2. Rid yourself of the extra weight in a permanent manner.
3. Carry a trash bag from room-to-room.
4. See how big of a donation pile you can make.
5. Eliminate debt by selling what you no longer need.
It doesn’t matter so much how you remove them, as long as you do. For it is far better to de-own than to always be decluttering.
About Joshua Becker
My stepmother just emailed me this article tonight (and another from your blog). I have just been through the move from Hell! I THOUGHT I had given away a huge amount before this move (I sold my townhouse and moved into a rented apartment – second floor of the landlord’s house). But I still needed to hire movers, who I swear work for the Mafia (!) and charged 3 times what the move should have cost. And I had no choice, because I am a partially disabled woman with a lot of nice furniture, many pieces of art and pottery shipped home from my time in Japan, and many other things I could not possibly have moved by myself. And now I discover that the new flat is a LOT smaller than I had thought it was, and I will have to sell most of the furniture online for a pittance anyway, after paying to move it. And, I will have to go through the whole process when my lease expires in August, because my new landlord is an irresponsible child who refuses to (for example) fix the non funcitonal (only) toilet and sink or shovel the snow that is forcing me to pay for a hotel as I cannot get my car onto the property through the 5-foot snow bank blocking the drive, because he is too busy with school. So, why didn’t I just get a proper apartment with a ‘real’ landlord in the first place? Why, because the ‘real’ apartments in Guelph are mostly designed for students and the rooms are too tiny to fit all my stuff! So it has finally hit me, to just what extent my life is controlled by the things I possess. And I own a great deal less than almost every Canadian of my age and education level! But this harrowing, nightmare experience has finally made me determined that I will never again own anything that will force me to submit to a predatory moving company in order to change homes! I did not get ‘nice’ furniture until I was in my 50’s, and I love my Japanese lacquered cabinets and Chinese inlay bedroom suite. But NOTHING is worth what I have just been through! Certainly not pretty furniture! By the time I move yet again this summer, I intend to have gotten rid of everything I cannot move by myself with a rented van!
Good for you! I had a similar experience when my landlord decided to sell a large condo I was renting. But I still have too much stuff. It frightens me that I cannot manage it myself if I were to move, but the sentimental attachments are strong
My husband and I have reached a point in our lives where we understand the futility of owning stuff, stuff and more stuff. Ditto for food. We have had a life of eating all the food we could want and owning more stuff than we could posssibly need. We have sold and given away most pf what we own and have adopted a mich lighter and simpler diet.
We are both happier and healthier for it! This blog has been very helpful! i used to hoard everything in younger days raising kids. No more! Now I don’t want to own anything I can’t walk away from, should the urge to roam hit me.
Very helpful insight. I do not want our children to be overwhelmed with our stuff/junk! It does feel good to donate to charity or give some old family keepsake to a family member or a friend. Things are not people. People are our most important treasures, even though most of us are cracked pots.
before you off load your junk… Ask your family what of that junk they may want. It could be a memory for them. then my all means off load away.
Totally agree. There is stuff I wish I had that belonged to my grandmother that she kept for her boys. I would want just my Dads. just 3 things. Her scrapbook, she had a wooden santa for each of her boys and a little glass coal bucket that held candy that santa brought for each of her boys.
I will be having another bonfire soon. I will burn many workbooks from a bible study class, afghans my grandmother made but are worn out or were made during her dementia years, all my yearbooks but my senior year. I feel this is a respectable way to discard items that I don’t want others to obtain. It’s also very cleansing for the soul.
The afghans could be given to pet shelters and you could have made some cash selling your yearbooks.
Sometimes even selling things is too much time and effort for very little money. If something is of value, then selling might be worth the time.
I agree with the pet shelter or put it in a clothing bin.
Enjoyed this. Thank you. I have bought and kept so many things that never really made the difference I was seeking! Now I am happier I do things rather than buy things. I do love to “organise” but realise having less is the key.
Getting rid of old stuff is one of the hardest things to do, things have memories and bring joy to us. I feel that if an items brings you joy, keep it. If not, get rid of it. Every item we own should serve a purpose. If something doesn’t serve a purpose or bring you joy, you don’t need it. It’s surprising how we can live without a majority of the things that we already have.
[email protected]
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I really like and am happy that I found this blog. As a grown child of a hoarder (due to the Depression era as well as actual depression from tragedy), I am desperately trying to get out from the mountain of stuff I have been left with because of my Mom’s illness and previous inability to get rid of ANYTHING.
I realize how much of my childhood was robbed because I could never have friends over because of all the junk. I developed a lot of anger and anxiety and depression in my own life over this and other things and became resentful that my Mom would not accept help when she was well. Now that she is ill and completely unable to do anything for herself, I am the one that is largely responsible for dealing with the HUGE amount of mess, clutter, junk, garbage, mis-managed finances, lost treasures and photos, and another person’s lifetime of everything. My family is all far away.
I feel mixed emotions. I feel oddly happy that I can finally get rid of the junk, but utterly sad that I am stuck with this and frustrated at how much time, space and energy it all consumes. There have been some extremely valuable finds in and amongst the oddest collection of papers, wrappers, newspapers, tissues, and rubber bands, bottle caps and other junk that belongs in the dump! This has been a process that has taken me YEARS to even get to this point! (I have had several surgeries and could not work, etc.)
When I did try to hire a “professional organizer,” to help once, I wound up spending over a thousand dollars to be bullied into a one-day process with two people and essentially being forced to make instant decisions with every item I touched or looked at! It was not at all realistic and I though I would have a nervous break-down over it. I was not allowed to even figure out what half the stuff was or came from, or if anyone in our family may want the photos or item, etc.
On the other hand, I have been absolutely paralyzed by inertia and being unable to start to declutter or get rid of things. I have struggled all my life with depression and feel happiest when my home is spotless and there is no clutter around. I like nice things, but prefer quality over quantity.
This blog has been the most realistic at helping me find a balance for how to be rid of the stuff once and for all. It is also one of the most supportive blogs.
I did not ask to be the child of a hoarder and I do not want my life to continue to be overwhelmed with stuff. I also am trying to help my husband by encouraging him to give precious items to his side of the family now while he is still alive. I told him that there is NO way I am going to be going through his stuff and trying to figure out what goes to which person, etc. I told him that whatever is left after he dies (if he dies before me) is going to charity if it is still useable and that I will keep and treasure a few select items. The rest? Too bad for his relatives. There is no way I am going to go through this insanity once again.
I have done all sorts of grieving about the lost time I missed and all the opportunities and wasted money, etc., and am trying to learn to forgive my Mom and be patient and kind and gentle with the process. It is one of the hardest things that I have had to do. I will say that for the most part? I really don’t care what kind of stuff my Mom had–the majority of it that remains useful is not part of my immediate memories and does not have the same value to me. There are many photos of her younger days when I don’t even know the people in them and sadly, my Mom can no longer tell me who they are. I can’t keep all of them, so I just keep a few really good ones of her alone and ditch the ones with unknown people in them.
One of the best ways that I have found to sort stuff is to get a timer and set it for 15 minutes. I pick a room or an area and I have my garbage can, paper recycling bag, keep box, and my donate box and my “not sure what this is box-which usually has to do with some sort of legal paper.” I then just work until the timer goes and take it from there. If I am feeling energized? I re-set the timer and keep going. But some days? All I can handle is 15 minutes in that one room or spot, or in total! Some of the stuff I have found has been filled with emotions and skeletons in the closet that I never knew where there, sigh. It’s hard.
Thank-you for the blog, Joshua. Please say a prayer for me, as I will for you.
Teresa, I hear you and I will pray for you. I can relate all too well to your story. Hang in there. Keep going. It will get easier. I read strength and beauty in your journey.
Blessings.
Naomi
Hang in there, Teresa; it gets better. You’re stronger than you know, and you can get through this.
Teresa,
I have a similar story to yours; my mother was a pack rat, not to the extent of hoarding, but she certainly kept lots of stuff. When she became ill, I had to move in with her and begin the task of eliminating things that she had collected over the years. I have fought the pack rat tendency all my life, and I refer to it as a “work in process”. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get things done right away. By making a little progress at a time, it will provide positive reinforcement so that you will look forward to continuing. Each time I eliminated things from an area of the house, I would take before and after pictures, just so that I could savor my accomplishments. I know it sounds childish, but I love seeing the results of my work, regardless of how minor they may be. I keep a perpetual “to do” list, and I really enjoy crossing items off of it, just to see what I’ve accomplished. Best of luck on your journey, I know you can do it; remember to give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished each and every day, no matter how small the task may be.
You’re taking the right approach, a little at a time. As you continue to make progress you will feel the weight lifting off of you! I will pray for you as you sort through the past and the emotions.
Teresa,
I am a Professional Organizer and I just emptied my hoarder mother’s home last April to July. I have felt the exact same emotions you are feeling. My siblings are all out of state so when we moved our mother closer to me they left and I took on the task of packing and storing her things. I started organizing them and realized I didn’t have the time, strength or emotional stability left so I just started filling boxes. Everything is random. I threw away totally destroyed items that filled a dumpster. I locked the storage unit and when my mother passes my siblings will come home and we will go through it. Hang in there. Seems like we are in the same boat!
I am grateful that I do not have this sickness and that my business came about because of her illness! I feel so sad for my mother and I also grieve the loss of everything because of it. I have anger as well but then I realize her sickness.
Sending prayers to you!
Sue
You are so brave and strong to do this. I also grew up in a hoarded home and promised myself I would never live like this in my own life. When my Mom got ill we cleaned the house and it was exhausting. It took months to do and I lived 8 hours away so went there every month to help out clearing. It will get better and one day it will all be done. Sending you prayers and blessings.
Teresa,
Your story resonates with me to the point that it’s eerie. My mother has been a hoarder since my dad died when I was a child. Like yours my mom has severe depression and has PTSD from childhood trauma. Due to my mother’s hoarding we didn’t have anyone over and developed “doorbell dread” because of it. (look it up….it’s common with children of hoarders) My childhood was robbed as well and I too suffer from depression and severe anxiety.
Any kind of clutter, pile, knickknacks induces anxiety which is why minimalism is very appealing to me. Because I am related to a hoarder I understand the need to keep things “just in case” which is such a struggle; especially sentimental stuff.
I truly understand where you’re coming from Teresa. My mom is alive and the thought of going through that house fills me and my siblings with intense dread. My dream is to take a wrecking ball to it and be done with it but there are family mementos deep in that house.
Like you I also developed anger and resentment towards my mother. She also refused to seek help while we were young children. Decades later we are still suffering the effects of a mother with severe depression and hoarding.
I just want you to know that you are not alone. It’s one of those family secrets that has severe psychological ramifications that only professional help can fix.
Take care,
T
I am living this same life with my mother. Still letting go of anger, resentment and sadness over the life we could’ve had if all the “stuff” hadn’t been in the way. It is hard to be the child of a hoarder. My prayers go out to you.
Bless your heart. You have a huge amount of work to do, but I feel confident you can manage to get through the stuff your mother has. You write like a realistic lady who has a goal and is striving to achieve it. Good luck and many prayers for your success.
I can’t begin to tell you how much I needed to hear your story. I am spending the night out of town as we speak because I am sick of fighting with my mother about her hoard, and being in a depressing environment in general. I also moved in with her because she is seriously ill, and she is fighting me every step of the way in my efforts to get her affairs organized before she passes away. I even told her, enjoy it now while you can, because I’m getting rid of all of it when you die. That still doesn’t phase her. Sometimes I feel guilty for getting on her case, but I’m just trying to uphold a basic standard of living that she taught me (before depression took hold and the hoarding got out of control). Sending good vibes your way, and that everyone struggling with ailing parents can get through this.
Sounds like you can afford a little less buying but could afford to direct that money to something more important. Pay a housekeeper once a week. I have a housekeeper that comes and cleans once a week at my house. The day before she arrives AND the same day she leaves, I toss out magazines, papers and put together a small box of things to donate and stick it in my car that same day to drop it off. Sometimes she’ll agree to drop off my donations, and if she keeps a few things, it’s ok. Little by little things get better. Great weekly reminder and the housekeeper is my reward!
OMG! I so feel you , you are very very brave … i wish my family would start decluttering ..it pains me to see them like this… my grandma has so much stuff…and now my parents are having a tough time getting rid of it…there is so much stuff… and if i try to help them ..they get so angry..i just wish they would magically get rid of all that STUFF.
I am now beginning the process of decluttering. I have held on to stuff my whole life. I don’t know why. I am thinking now it is bc of some type of verbal abuse due to my father. He was always putting me down and making me feel.lesd than. He was also physically abusive but never molested..he was and still is a very arrogant man. I recently had to relocate with all 400 boxes..my brother paid 25000.00 in moving fees..and all.l hear him saying is how f….in crazy and sick l.am. and how he can’t deal. I am a 50 yrs.old old woman who has an 12 yr old daughter..single mom
I am struggling
And starting over with nothing. I feel like such a failure. But his verbal abuse brings me back to my dad and sets me back. I cannot change the past. He will be paying my rent for a yr. But l have to get a very small apt and get rid of almost everything. He won’t allow me to sell anything. He wants it all out asap..l am so depressed .l know l caused him financial burdens and l am truly sorry..he does this understand at all..I want my stuff gone.
Oh, Liss, I hurt for you. I can’t help, really, because I’m in a similar situation and am anxious and panicky about it, and very depressed – I feel it in your message, too. But I can talk with you and give you emotional support, and maybe, as I seek and find any kind of thing that works for me, I can share with you, too. Maybe we can boost each other when possible.
Would you be interested in this? Having a support buddy would really be beneficial to us both, I think.
I would be! My name is Keli.I just found this si while taking a break from decluttering. Here is my email address. [email protected]
I understand completely. I have struggled for years but have started with a different approach. I now have small 9L plastic storage boxes with lids. My approach is to put in the things I want to keep and then put them in the wardrobe or particular place I need them. I also have put together 1 box of stuff for the car that 1 need: fold-up umbrella, small towel, spare pair of shoes, wipes, bottle of water, torch, first aid kit, small sewing kit, scissors, sticky tape, black biro, stapler, paperclips etc. I am hoping to sell some more things I don’t need online. Each day I am tackling one area. Reorganising stuff. Putting aside things I bought as Christmas and Birthday presents. Having a reason for doing it is making me do it.
Hi Teresa my name is Maria and I am the child of a hoarder and sexually abused victim I also have PTSD. I want to suggest to everyone that’s trying to declutter this book that I have been using to declutter my own home. The book is by a professional declutter person and it’s cold ” spark Joy”. There’s another book that was the first one I used and it’s called The Joy of tidying up. Look it up on YouTube and you’ll see the way that this woman suggest how to declutter your Mom’s home. I hope this helps you. It helped me a lot. If you find that you’re overwhelmed these books will come in handy. if you have a Kindle or Kindle Fire by Amazon you can order the book so it just downloads and is electronic file so you don’t end up adding to the Clutter. I hope you find the strength to get through this difficult time. God bless
Teresa, I am responding to your January 21, 2016 post. I want to share a bit of insight that has helped me. I read somewhere that we only have so many ‘decision points’ that we can make in a day before we feel mentally exhausted. The trick is to make a decision once and stick to that decision, eliminating the need to use up further ‘decision points’. A simple example might be to save the first 5 working pens, then discard without exception, all pens you find from that point forward. This concept really hit home with me because I could not understand why I could work all day doing physical work and still feel mentally strong, yet an hour or two worth of sorting through paperwork would drain me to exhaustion. I was using up my days allotment of ‘decision points’ too quickly! I think sorting photos might be very similar that way. Try quick sorting based on who or what is in the photo using one or two decision points only. The photos that don’t make the cut go into a box. Pass the box on to another family member and ask them to take a look. If they recognize anything in the photos ask them to write something on the back. Pass the box around to others and when you finally get it back go through it one final time. Keep what makes sense and throw the rest away. Hope this helps in some small way!
I’m going to try your 15 minute timer technique. That makes a lot of sense to me. I also read another technique. Take a picture of your special item, then get rid of it. You always have the picture to help with your attached memory of it.
Teresa I feel your pain in your writing but I also feel your strength. My prayers go out to you.
Blesssings Jilly
Thank you for the great article and inspiration. I am minimalizing my final room and the hardest — the office/ work room. I’m curious to know what the “Becoming Mimimalist” community thinks about printers. Are they still a relevant item? What do others do who have given up their printer already?
This is a good article for me as I declutter. A plus to owning a smaller home is having to de-own things more often, which in return makes less to organize and less to clean!
YES. Buying a bunch or containers and organizing all your stuff into them is right up there with renting a storage container/warehouse and stuffing all of your junk into it. Once you put all of that stuff away, it tends to become “out of sight, out of mind”. Both tactics are basically useless as far as actually dealing with your ‘things’. In 95% of cases, a person doesn’t need more space or more organizers, they need less stuff!
– donate your stuff to these who are in need of it
– sell your stuff in eBay or car boot sales, flee markets, garage
sales if it’s
you, who is in need of money
– re-use your stuff with a completely new usage… it’s called
“up-cycling” and changes cheese grinders into kitchen lamps,
wooden wine boxes in coffee tables and so on!
Yes, yes, yes! I constantly get the urge to go through and see what we can get rid of from our house. When my husband and I got married a few years ago, we started out in a 476 square-foot apartment. That helped us not accumulate “stuff”! Now we live in a bigger space, but I have tried to hardly add anything new in! I’m excited to pick up some new tips on your blog.
Being unemployed helped me do what I had always wanted to do if I didn’t have to go to work. I wanted to fix the house in a way so that I could use it the way I wanted to use it instead of how I thought it ‘should’ be used. Organizing/categorizing led to decluttering and decluttering led to de-owning. It’s only going through this (not done yet) have I realized how much stress I’ve needlessly had that I didn’t know I had.
Thanks for sharing this post. A good approach and had to implement it recently. I nearly threw half of my stuff from closets when I moved to a new flat after living 20 years in the same flat.
I like the general theme of this, but I feel that it’s a bit simplistic. As a Professional Organizer, I help people purge items first, then organize the remainder. The American culture is based on consumerism. So, while getting rid of things does produce a very cathartic feeling, it’s not realistic to expect people to just get rid of things without accepting that new thing will replace the things they got rid of. That’s just how it works here. I’ve even requested that clients not purchase anything new while we are going through the decluttering/organizing process, but they are never able to stick to that. Also, most people feel that if they have the space, they need to fill it with something. In my work, I stress the opposite and let them know it’s ok to have empty space, but again, they are never able to live with that. So although living a minimalist lifestyle is preferable, it’s not realistic for the majority of people. Therefore, it’s important to keep what they have organized so that they can focus on other areas of their life as well.
This is all learned behaviour. And to change, one has to begin somewhere. I respectfully disagree with your post–it is possible to change, and we can teach our children to be less consumeristic, so the cycle does not begin anew.
On to the basement… One box at a time…car is almost full of stuff leaving and hope to have two more boxes by note fall.
The first step to getting stuff out of my house is to define what is the stuff that goes, what is stuff that stays, what is important stuff and what is treasure. Stuff that stays and important stuff is subject to change. It changes with time. My 2008 tax returns, paid Bill receipts and bank statements won’t be important next year, but they could be this year.
Without organization first things could get tossed or given away that are still necessary in some way. If it’s paperwork you can’t recreate, you’re up a creek. If it something you can run to the store and buy again you are wasting finances and that isn’t what minimalism is all about either. And I don’t believe if you have the space, anybody has ever said you need to give up all your treasure stuff.
I don’t have much treasure stuff that I would carry our out if I was evacuated for a forest fire, (and I have been), or political unrest in a foreign country, (and I have been), but I know what those treasures are, they have been identified, and I know how long it would take me to get them in a bag with my underwear so they wouldn’t break, as my husband and out ran out the door with the dog.
I have been in the de-clutter mode for a long time. But it seems the more I get rid of, the more I find I have. It’s frustrating. But I’m persisting and it does feel good when you see something leave your house and it isn’t coming back!!
And I am a flipper too. I’ll find stuff at a thrift store or share shed and bring it home and flip it for more than I paid for it. For example, on Facebook buy sell trade in my city, I found a lovely burl coffee table a guy was selling for $25. I knew darn well it was worth more than that. So I picked it up and re-sold it for $100. Flipping can be fun if you know what you’re doing and what to look for.
Right now I am getting ready to donate to an auction that will benefit the dog mushers in Alaska who lost everything to the forest fires there. I have over 50 items ready to list on the auction page as soon as they say go. It’s a win win for me. I de-clutter my house and the mushers benefit from the money from my donations. I have the winner of the auction pay the postage and so although I don’t see any money, it doesn’t cost me anything either.
I love becoming a minimalist!! What a great way of life!!
Twice in my life I have lost most of my possessions, yet slowly through the years I accumulated more stuff. It is kind of funny and sad that when we are children we have room for all of our possessions in a single room, but once we are adults, we have so much that we fill our houses, sheds, garages, and rental storage units, with things we will most likely never need. I am in the process of cleaning things out and giving things away. We usually have a garage sale every summer, which also helps out.
Just got done decluttering and getting rid of things in my storage room…many things leftt, I enjoy changing decor for the seasons so I have organized those things…I know some day I will part with those things also, but for now its organized. Having too much is impossible to keep organized.. NEXT PROJECT is the basement.
I read this blog at the back end of last year and have returned to it many times since. Your recent helpful guide to starting blogging arrived in my Facebook newsfeed at a serendipitous moment (I was actually in the process) and I’ve now had the chance to reference this post in this weeks blog (http://mindfulminimalism.co.uk/2015/06/23/it-always-seems-impossible-until-its-done/). I love it when things come full circle.
Thanks Joshua
I am amazed by the wisdom that this post emanates. I have recently embarked on my own journey towards living a more minimalist lifestyle. Prior to being introduced to the idea of living in a more minimal manner, I was always reorganizing the same stuff. I hardly looked at half the stuff, but I felt that I needed to hold onto it. Once I realized that a lot of the stuff that I own doesn’t get used, I began freeing myself of it. I am just beginning this journey, so I am thankful for the inspiration that your post has provided me. I will continue to reference it in the future!
I love this. I have an autoimmune disease that saps my energy. For me the energy of sorting, evaluating, and transporting the items out of my life is onerous. I will sort and evaluate, my henning sits in my garage while I debate Craigslist, Freecycle, or thrift store. My house feels constipated. Haha. On the other hand, cleaning, putting thing away, sorting, organizing, ad nauseum, takes energy too. I day dream of tossing it all and traveling the USA in a motor home containing all the possessions we need or living in a condo with my young family with a pool and play park attached or what life would be like as a single person with all my possessions in a knapsack on my back. I’ll have to keep dreaming as my 1700 sq.ft. house, crawlspace, garage, and shed are full.
I can find some days I can just do a box at a time. Doesn’t zap my energy. In fact it is energizing to me. I take a box…go thru…somethings go in donate tote, some in trash a a few things to keep, I’ve reduced by a third.
I agree, no matter how much organizing containers we buy, if we do not get rid of most of the stuff in our homes everything will become one big pile of mess. What I do is to make garage sales. Now I am moving to another house and I am going to make a big garage sale which will include my furniture too. I think that it is a good way to get rid of useless stuff.
I’ve been going through your material after listening to the slow your home podcast and just have to say it’s fantastic.
The organizing vs de-owning is a great idea and it seems similar to people who want to exercise more but don’t watch their calories! Start at the source to have the most impact.
Great list, I cannot wait to share with my readers!
Misalnya, oatmeal, sandwich roti gandum, whole wheat pasta dan kacang-kacangan.
I completely agree with this! It’s funny that I ran across this article at this time in my life because I have started to purge things………..not just de-clutter. I’ve been de-cluttering for years, but this time I’m cleaning and if I haven’t used it in awhile and don’t plan to, it’s getting trashed, donated or sold. I’m finished with stuff. And I feel reborn!!!
Completely agree! I have been following your blog for a long time and you posts have helped me a lot on pursuing my goal. :)
Thanks Joshua!
I have been trying to de clutter also– what has scared me is that in our city there have been several fires where persons have been hurt because firefighters were not able to help them fast enough because of clutter.
Hmmm…nice article…except to me, I’ve always associated decluttering with de-owing…one in the same meaning…
Thanks again Joshua!! I have been following you site for about six months and can now see such a difference in not just de-cluttering but de-owing!! Wow what a difference. I can see how much time I wasted organizing and re-organizing ‘stuff’ but now when I tackle a room or a cupboard so much of it just leaves and is donated… and what a good feeling!! If I find a storage container in a closet or the garage I empty it and only keep what I really want… so I now have an empty storage container. Then I use that and I go to another room and fill that storage container up again (and only keep what I really need) and then empty that one again and put the unwanted things into bags or boxes to be donated. So I always an empty storage contained on the go to put things in that are leaving so then I am not overwhelmed on what to do with an item as it goes right into the container… out of sight out of mind… so far it is working for me!! Thanks for the encouragment always!! :)
I have been de-owning for over a year now via eBay. I have had 330+ auctions as made an average of $10 per auction. It is not a huge sum, however is is satisfying our grocery bill (teenagers! :)
The benefit is for the first time in our 22 years of marriage I can visualize where things are in the house. Awareness of stuff is key. Time will continue to help me consolidate our possessions into cash!
Thanks for the inspiring de-owning article. I can tell you how many shoebox containers I have purchased over the years!
I live in ‘small town’ Montana. Someone in our community has created 2 very useful Facebook pages: ‘small town’ classified, and ‘small town’ buy nothing (for info, go to http://www.buynothingproject.com). With these 2 pages, we can either sell or give away whatever we want. It is working extremely well and has brought people together. I think you could imagine the same thing in a big city neighborhood for example.
We live on a small island that has a similar idea – a Bring & Buy Facebook page where you can sell or give away your unwanted items. Can come in very handy on an island with few stores – your unwanted stuff can be exactly what someone else needs and couldn’t get (getting stuff shipped here can an expensive headache!)
Great post. Our family is planning a move overseas and as we have to sell our house we need to clear out our “stuff”.
How liberating it has been. 500+ books = gone. A wardrobe of clothes = gone. Half the kids toys = straight to the op shop.
So so freeing.
My husband notices how much less stress there is as it’s easier to clean when you don’t have to pick up 50 items prior to doing it!
I wish I had this mindset prior to buying all the crap. Oh for wisdom in my early twenties.
i’m 22 and implementing all this stuff, funny, i wish i discovered it in my teens…(T.T) So much money wasted, and only crap to show for it!
I only have one room in house. I try to organize and de-clutter my room, like inside my drawers, I have little tupperware containers to organize everything and save space.
But I have so many small “things” that don’t fit into any category and I have no idea where to put them. I just get frustrated and throw them all into a bag and hide it. I can’t bring myself to toss things that might be useful later (bottle openers, crochet needles, mailing supplies).
How do I make myself get rid of these things!!
Ren
The minimalists.com suggest chucking that bag of stuff-it’s the “just in case” stuff that is really using “just in case” as an excuse to hold onto stuff. Check out their site too, I use this one and theirs for real inspiration and challenge.
Denise
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Have a junk drawer or box in each room. Keep the little things at least in the room that the little thing is related to in that junk drawer or box.
Make a junk drawer, preferably in the kitchen.
Thank you for this. de-owning not just decluttering is speaking to me as I simpliy my life. It is my new mantra, thank you! My home is not cluttered, my clutter is tucked away usually. But I have so much stuff. I am inspired and feel the need to de-own not just declutter.
Reading this article brought back so many good memories! I remember how freeing and fulfilling it was to have ‘the great book purge of 2012’. I was looking for a book for a friend, knew that I had a copy, and discovered (oh, the horror!) that I had TRIPLE stacked some of my shelves. (books, behind books, behind more books!) No wonder I couldn’t find it!
I pulled every single book of the shelves (all 6 bookcases, floor to ceiling, 3-foot wide) and started thinking about every single book.
The process I used was “would someone else benefit from having this information/story?” I cleaned every shelf, started stacking (keep, donate, maybe) and then started carting books outside to put on a table with a ‘free books’ sign. I ended up putting over 500 books outside for passers-by to peruse and pick up, and still managed to mostly fill my shelves with what I wanted to keep.
The word got out “Lei Lani is giving away some of her books”, and by the end of the first day, the stack outside was down to maybe 10 books.
It still makes me smile to think that all of those treasured books have found new homes, with people who will read them, and hopefully pass them on when their stacks get too high.
I love this! Great job :-)
Thanks for your inspiring comment. I have decided to de-own a few thousand books. Not because I don’t want the books. But because I feel they rob me of my freedom. I can’t move. I forever clean and organize. They have taken over my house and my guest house. There is not much room for anything else. It will break my heart to let them go. But I think the freedom that will come with it will be worth it. It’s been a mental process so far. I think I’m about ready to clean house and guest house.
I donated books to the library. That way I can borrow them back if I want to read them and The community benefits from them too. Good luck :)
We donate books to libraries and charity auctions too.
Agatha
I wonder if you got rid of those thousands of books you were going to start on. I have the same problem and found your words very encouraging.
We gave away 7 banker boxes of book to our local library, mostly novels we’ve read and we’re not going to read again. The library uses them for a fundraising book sale which I work at. It gave me joy to see our books come thru the checkout line, know someone else will enjoy those books too.
Where I live, I go to the county library system’s web site to check and see if they carry a book or movie I am thinking of getting rid of. If they do, I know I can safely get rid of mine– I can always borrow it back if I want. And have I ever borrowed any back? Never. But it is good to know that if I wanted to, I could.
That’s so cool!
I also donate books to our library. They have a book sale twice a year to raise funds for the library.
what a great idea lei lani!
Freecycle.org may be an answer to some of your de-cluttering needs. Check the website to see if it is active in your area. If not start it. People post needs, wants, haves to this site. They are given freely and to those who can use them. If you have a need for an item (s) then send a posting. Someone out there is bound to have it just sitting around waiting to be given away. Very successful here in lower Michigan. Its a blessings both ways.
Do you think that the huge houses being built today are a result of people having just too much stuff?
George Carlin certainly did. :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLoge6QzcGY
I have been having so much fun getting rid of more and more. I thought I was minimalist already and then I started reading these articles.
My home has no storage except bedroom closets that we use for clothes and linens. To combat this problem we put our bed up on risers to house a trunk and 5 or six other boxes.
I want the underneath of my bed to be 100% empty with no bed skirt so that you can see under and it looks like beautifully open space. So I am going in and re-evaluating each piece, more than half of it is my husbands and he has agreed to go in and condense.
My favorite kitchen realization so far has been….
I previously owned
10 mugs
6 wine glasses
6 water glasses
REALIZATION: I only need 6 mugs! You can drink any liquid from a mug!! ( I have 3 people in my home and am accounting for 3 guests)
I gave my excess to a friend in need.
*My closet…40 hangers! So Awesome, I love it. It is so easy to find something to wear. I have not worn the same thing twice in a month and still have a few things I haven’t worn yet, which makes me think I could get by with even less. (When i wear something I cycle it to the back of this closet, this way, I can find out if there is something I kept that I am not wearing.) I no longer own those “just for fun” pieces. (bashfully admits:except for 1 or 2 I hid in the back of the closet). I hang my few summer Items instead of storing them b/c I don’t have storage space and those things don’t count in the 40. They will trade places with sweaters when it gets warmer. Most of my clothes cross seasons by adding a light sweater and a warm jacket on top and leggings or tights with boots with my skirts in colder months.
Yes I’m just realizing that I don’t necessarily need a different wardrobe for each season but can wear my summer skirts and tops in winter by simply layering and wearing tights underneath. I also don’t like stuff stored under the bed and since our bed is a low futon it isn’t possible anyway. Oh how i wish I could only use our cups instead of glasses for all drinks but then some people in the family think that’s weird! It is amazing that even though we may think we are quite minimal we can actually get by quite well with ALOT less!
For the first time, I have nothing under the bed (I’m 43!). So my point is—I know the feeling.
Just dumping things doesn’t benefit anyone.
Organising your stuff is the first step of decluttering. You’ll find all those things you have in duplicate. You’ll find those things you didn’t know you have, and didn’t use for ages. You find old dreams of making things, or fixing things; dreams of going somewhere, memories of happiness.
I spent the whole day yesterday to organize my papers – bills and bank records. The recycling ton got a fill. And the bag for the shredder in the office. (safer than just tearing bills up)
And the bag for the scanner. (some day there will be someone who claims you owe them money, then it’s nice to have a record of that receipt from years back) Insurance companies are notorious for that.
After the scanner the shredder will be fed.
(a former boss was keen on dumping old documents that were messing up his nice cabinet. And then he had to explain to the customer where the documents were he was sent earlier…)
If you are going to scan and then shred the hard copy (excuse the capitals):
BACK IT UP FIRST!!!
Also, if there is an original signature on something, KEEP THE HARD COPY.
I can’t emphasize this enough! I just started regular back-ups when my hard drive died. And I am SO GLAD I did.
Hard copy signatures are not necessary. Electronic copies are more than sufficient even on legal documents in the UK and US.
what is especially a burden are other people fixing to offload their junk. i don’t want it, or them to ever darken our door, ever again. Peopls are inconsiderate, they think if you’ve a shed it’s a free storage facility. Where’s my shotgun!
people that hoard or are as they prefer to be consumers, dont have any desire to own less. they will buy more with what ever it takes. they are deep rooted from prvious lives, ancestors. I have a hard time living with one. if there is a help for this type of behavor, please email me. why dont the people that need the help read these articles
I’m a paper hoarder.
I watched ‘Hoarders’ and ‘Obsessed’ this spring and that helped me make a 180.
But then again, I’m not a ‘I’m not as bad as them or like them’ kind of person. After watching and LISTENING TO HOW THE PEOPLE FELT and the input from the therapists, I understood that my thought process is exactly the same. I’m glad to report I’m down to 1 box of unorganized papers instead of a truckload. I never knew how much stress I had was self-inflicted. Any other helpful words are welcome.
Marta how did you get rid of papers? I save to sort, and boxes move with me but low priority so still clogging.
I also would be happy to give things to people who need — what is hard for me is putting in trash what could still be used by me someday or someone else. Tricky to connect items with those who need without putting most possessions on eBay and wait for a bid? Other ideas?
Great article! I tend to be a minimalist in some things but certainly need to look at all areas in my life. I enjoy the picture in my minds-eye where I am looking at all of my possessions on the lawn and, as people walk by, I hand them things that they could use. Instead of them being in my closet or cupboards, they are being used by others. Used by others, not kept where they are unused.
p.s. this was a great article.
Kgough, who are these people using your home ad a storage facility? Don’t just stop more things from coming in, reverse the process. I say give these disrespectful individuals a deadline to remove their possessions or they will be donated or discarded -THEN FOLLOW THROUGH! This is tough love, Sweetie. Take control of your home and your life. Some people may not like it, but they have to deal with it. The good news is that you have the power here. Grab it and live the minimalist life life you desire. I’m rooting for you!
Je ѕuis tout à fait d’accord avec vous
First off,great article written by this author-Bravo!
For me,I’m at the other end of this spectrum.Since I am now unemployed,and newly married (bad combo)I am constantly on the search for anyone who is looking to discard any or all of their items they no longer need or want.In the past,when I was employed I used to do this as a ” side hustle” to make some extra money,I’d go to garage sales or I’d simple come across stuff that people were throwing out to the curb,clean them up and resell them.For people who do this for a living,there is big money in this business.
I didn’t exactly come here to ” advertise” myself,but why not ” throw” myself out there. I’m in NY on the Queens border to be precise,if any of you here reading this are looking to rid yourselves of any items I would certainly take them off your hands.I don’t own a brick and mortar store or anything like that,its just me,one guy who will personally come and take whatever you would like to get rid of.
If you would rather make some money off the items you have,I suggest;a yardsale,listing your items on free sites like craigslist or like the author noted,donate them to charity.
Anyway,my name is Shawn and if interested and in the Ny area and want to simply just downsize and get rid of items asap you can email me @ [email protected]
Oh also,another idea is that you could put your items in certain stores that offer ‘consignment’ meaning they take on your items,and if they sell any of them,they get a piece of the profit.In most consignment situations it’s a 60/40 split,with you getting 60% and they getting 40%.
Thanks
Shawn
Oh Shawn. How I wish you were in the South of the UK.
I have piles and piles of stuff, bin liners galore, and a loft and garage fit to bursting.
We are moving house and after almost 40 years in our house it’s high time it all went.
I’ve donated every single thing so far to local charity shops and I’ve no desire to make any money out of my tat!
Good luck and I’m sure that you will come across people, like me, who will donate their unwanted items.
Hi Ann, I am based in South Buckinghamshire in UK and I am a member of Apdo (The Association of Professional Declutters and Organisers) here in the UK. I’m not sure whereabouts in the South you are, but there is a map on our great website that enables you to look for someone who could help you by area http://www.apdo-uk.co.uk. If you are fairly close to Souths Bucks, then please do also look at my website as I would love to be able to help you downsize. http://tinasorganisation.co.uk. Good luck and best wishes. Tina
Shawn, Why are you asking for things? I find it offensive that a stranger is asking for free things to make a profit out of them.
Helen,
why you are upset with Shawns post?
If one have to much and being happy to get rid of some stuff he not longer need or want, why not give it to somebody, who can make his living, or even a few dollars out of it? I can’t see, why this should be offensive.
I completely agree with Kerstin! It amazes me how so many people want the world to know that they are offended about things. If something offends me then I read or go do something else. Everyone is entitled to free speech in my opinion. The world would be a very boring and sterile place if we all listened to the same music, dressed the same way, looked the same and appreciated exactly the same things. It is quite stimulating to pause and consider a different perspective, well… for most people. :-)
Exactly, nothing offensive about flipping furniture and household items for money. Walking my dog on ‘trash day’ is sometimes profitable. I might see something to keep or take and put in my next garage sale. Hey, it was headed to the landfill right? Flea Market flip is one of my favorite shows. To the author, I came across your site when trying to convince my husband to get rid of instead of keeping items on our move back to Florida. Now we are paying for a second POD for things we are not missing if you know what I mean. Paying more money to keep more stuff that we don’t need… not to mention the extra plastic bins we had to buy.
Signed,
Stressed
Helen, why? I think it’s great and I only wish he was in Australia as I have lots to give. I’ve never sold any item, I’d rather give them away. If Shawn can use them for his house or to reinvent and sell good luck to him. Hope it goes well Shawn.
I think it is great when someone else can profit in any way from things I no longer have use for. I usually just give things to a local charity that has a second hand store, but sometimes when go to recycling/waste management I will bring a box of stuff to leave on the tables for others to take if they want. I am always surprised to see that within seconds of my putting a box down there are one or two people going through it. I just think of a friend of mine who as a young bride had two sets of dishes and thought ‘why?’ so she boxed up one set and left it outside her apartment door knowing “someone will take it” and sure enough – the next morning it was gone. That was 30 years ago, long before I ever heard of minimalism. There’s a lesson there – I think.
By the way, I’m nowhere near being decluttered – I’m working on it. Slowly but surely.
Helen, I myself am very broke. My husband is in the army and I work full time at a dog day care. We sell some things we find on the curb. Other things that I just need to get out of the house I give to people who want them. If someone is looking to get rid of something, why is it offensive for someone to ask for it to help them out financially? Not having enough pride to ask for help to support his wife is a very, very good quality in a man. Try to be more supportive.
Shawn is perfect for the person who is so controlling that they neither want to throw out an item nor have the item go to an annonymous person through a thrift store.
One of the problems that I see is that if we donate to Goodwill or a thrift store like that is exactly the same as what he is doing…resell the items. Goodwill takes free things and turns them for profit. What’s the difference?
Helen, Helen! Too uptight! Shawn was very open about his intentions, and utterly polite. You – not so much. Be nice!
Well I cant get rid of other peoples stuff so I have decided to box it up tag it and forget it. If they remember it and want it fine but I am refusing after this time of touch and organizing everyones stuff to stop. Not to sound witchy but I am tired I want to be a minalmalist. Here’s to making me happy which in turngives me more time to be happy with other people and not unhappy with their stuff.
When I stopped organizing my partner’s stuff and put his stuff out of my space, I got a lot of my own stuff done.
Minimalist – n- min-uh-mul-list,
One who has no desire to succeed or advance and will do as little as possible with few or no goals in life.
SYNONYMS – homeless, lazy, unmotivated
Clown – n – kloun,
One who does not know his ass from his elbow.
SYNONYMS – troll, jackass, ignoramus
Actually sir, a lot of minimalists are richer than you are. Steve Jobs, Robert Pattinson just to name a few. And you my friend, are sitting in front of your computer calling minimalists lazy, homeless and unmotivated. I suggest you do some evaluation on what YOU have accomplished because I assume they are not that great. Since you have the audacity to question such a wonderful lifestyle that is God-given. Anyways, hope you are having a fine day drowning in your useless possessions :)
You’re so silly.
That is not very thought through. I speak from personal experience. I decided to simplify my life, sold my house, moved into a smaller home with less things. Now I come home from work and I feel more relaxed in my space. This has nothing to do with being lazy or unmotivated. I work 40-60 hours per week because I like to work not because I have to. I hope for you that you can stop judging people and just be happy. Minimalism is a personal choice. I don’t mind you having everything you want- I just don’t want all these things anymore.
Well-said and spot-on. Our society focuses too much on ‘things’. I would rather fill my life with experiences and memories. I’m making this my goal!
Debt for experiences and memories is a lot less onerous. Utterly without conscious intent I spent my 20 and 30 taking on a “mortgage” for a lifestyle that included travel, parties, getting to know so many people and getting a stellar education. I worked in human services and made no where near enough to live on in the Bay area so I did shared housing until I was 40. I would advise any young person to do the same. I work in industry now and make an excellent living, which I have used to pay off the mortgage for my real life learning and I couldn’t be more pleased with my approach. Soon I will be unjobbing altogether and reducing my needs to focus my life on writing and special education. I was never fooled by the corporate shenanigans at my later-life workplace. I would have been if I had taken the “recommended” route.
Wish school would teach us these practical ways of living the different stages of life.
This was an amazing post. I am always rearranging and organizing. I thought about buying less and it would limit my mental stress of a cluttered household and it did for a while. But somehow it’s not enough. I just read your post and it made more sense to me then the hundreds of articles I’ve read on decluttering and organizing. Sure I some threw away some stuff and such but after reading your post, I am truly enlightened and sense the feeling of freedom from my possessions and them owning me. You know what they say, “the things we own, end up owning us”. Thank you for putting your thoughts out into the world. I know by taking your advice and putting it into action will reduce all cleaning and organizing and I will gain much more time for my family and fulfilling my passions passions!
That’s such an interesting reply.
I myself am such a collector of many things I love flea markets and fill my home with possessions albeit inexpensive.
However I’ve also always felt I am owned by them or that I am too attached to material things.
It’s a hard habit to change .