First off, I fully realize this is a very personal topic. For a variety of well-thought-out reasons, not everyone who stumbles upon this post desires to become a one-income family. That’s fine. This is not written to change your thinking or convince you otherwise.
Instead, it is written to encourage those who do desire such a lifestyle. I have known a number of dual-income families over the years who desire to become one-income – typically experienced in conjunction with the birth of a child. This post is written with them in mind.
My wife and I have lived our entire married lives (13 years) on one modest income. We have proven it is possible. And if we can accomplish it, so can you. This post is written to provide you with practical thoughts and encouragement to take the very step you’ve been desiring all along.
Ten years ago, our first child was born. As my wife had always intended, she immediately resigned from her position as an administrative assistant and became a full-time homemaker. At the time, my gross income was less than $40,000/year + health insurance benefits. I offer the numbers only as a frame of reference… there are surely one-income families that live on more and some that live on less. Over the years, I have experienced a number of pay increases (as one might expect), but my career in non-profits was never chosen for its level of compensation.
Still, we were able to survive and thrive on one-income because we took some very intentional steps with our lives, finances, and decisions:
1. Ask when and why, not if. I’m all for careful planning and crunching the numbers, but I’m also all for taking risks and learning to figure things out. When my wife quit her job to stay-at-home, we looked at the financial inflow and outflow. But our intentions in analyzing the numbers were never motivated by the question “Is this going to work?” We had already made the decision. The when/why had already been determined. Budgeting was approached as the means needed to make the necessary adjustments to accomplish it… not as the determining factor.
2. If possible, prepare ahead of time. My wife and I received valuable advice when we got married. A good friend of ours told us, “Decide now to live off one income… even if both of you are working. Put the entire second income directly into savings.” This decision to live off my income alone contributed significantly to our first home’s down-payment. But more importantly, it kept our lifestyle at a level that provided options when our first child was born (or if an unexpected job loss would have occurred). If possible, begin making choices today (avoid debt, lifestyle creep, and high mortgage payments) that will accommodate one income in the future.
3. Be content with less. A one-income family will, by definition, earn less money than a two-income family. The pursuit of possessions will need to be tempered. You’ll own a smaller home with less-fancy cars. Luckily, you won’t be missing much. There’s far more joy to be found in pursuing less than can be found in owning more. *At the time, we were not living minimalist lives (that decision came later). But if we had been, the transition to one-income would have been even easier.
4. Be convinced of the benefits. There are countless benefits to staying at home with young children that motivated our decision: stability, relationship, experience, educational opportunity, scheduling flexibility, consistent discipline, fewer expenses. We recognized these benefits and used the opportunity to make one-income a reality.
5. Budget. A healthy understanding of budgeting is required in most every case. But from my experience, there are only a small variety of expenses that keep families from living on one-income: too costly mortgage, car payments, eating out frequently, exorbitant entertainment expenses (tickets, vacations, and/or alcohol), and credit card debt. Start there and you’ll solve 85-90% of your financial problems. To embrace healthy budgeting techniques, you’ll find countless budgeting tools online. But the one that works best is the one that actually provides you with the tools to live within it. *Additionally, a one-income family is one that treats all incoming revenue as “shared,” not “yours” or “mine.” If you need to change your thinking on this, do it now.
6. Find an outlet for relationship. One difficulty of removing oneself from the workforce is the loss of a built-in network of relationships. Interpersonal relationships with peers are absolutely essential to our well-being. Be intentional in seeking out a place to find them: church, community groups, mom/dad groups, activity groups, etc.
7. Find an outlet for service. You have gifts, talents, experiences, and education that our world needs. And likely, you still desire to use them. Just because you have decided to stay at home does not mean you resigned from using your gifts to change the world. Look for opportunities to use them on a broader scale. There are, after all, countless organizations (schools, community, nonprofits) that need your giftedness. Find one as an outlet for your talents.
8. Embrace temporary or part-time. If there are some internal reasons keeping you from fully becoming a full-time, stay-at-home parent, consider the options of part-time or temporary. You don’t need to leave the workforce permanently. You can still keep a toe in it by finding a part-time employment arrangement that fits your schedule/desire. And as your family becomes more self-reliant, you can always make the decision to return back to work.
Again, this post was motivated by the countless conversations I have had with families who desire to become one-income. It is not the perfect solution for every family. But it has worked well for ours on a relatively modest budget. And if it has worked for us, it is completely achievable for you.
Image: Keoni Cabral
Kristen says
This was a very timely post for my husband and I. We are looking to go down to his income (who works in ministry) and trying to figure out how to make it work. Thanks for the suggestions.
Christopher Storer says
Bob Proctor said (paraphrasing) that if you look at the life of anyone who ever accomplished anything, they didn’t know how they were going to do it; they only knew that they were going to do it. It’s so important to make those when and why decisions, and stop focusing on the “if”. We decided that my wife would stay home after the first child, and we were forced to downside our lifestyle to match. It drove us toward minimalism as a way to reduce spending, but we are so much happier for having done it. Preparation would have helped, certainly, but for some people like myself, we just have to dive into the pool!
My advice to anyone who is standing at the edge of this lifestyle, is to set that date, and do everything you can to prepare, but when the day comes, just do it. The little things you haven’t gotten around to will be taken care of in due time.
Cluttered Mama says
My husband and I worked hard to get to where we could afford for me to start staying home part-time this year — and I was lucky that my employer rolled out flex work plans while I was on maternity leave with my second son. My supervisor fully supported me and in February I was officially a part-time employee. A month ago, I got laid off. Now we’re trying to figure out how to make it work out that I can stay home and work more for myself doing the things that I am passionate about. It is difficult, but I am committed to the journey. It is terrifying and exciting.
I just wish we had found this advice 10 years ago!
Kim Taylor says
Loved this post. My Aunt sent this to me because I just made the big step of working barely part time at my daughters school. So I am home ALOT more and basically cut my income to nothing, But I just had my son who is 2 1/2 months old and decided my kids need me! To see those smiling faces as much as I do now is worth every penny!!
Andi says
I find that our second income allows us to plan for the future – life insurance, IRA, savings, college savings for our son. We couldn’t do this with one modest income. How do other people handle this?
Kim Taylor says
That was a big part of our decision on what to do also. That is why I work about 16 hours a week still. SAVINGS and future items.
Kristina says
My husband makes a modest income (and we also went through 11 months of him unemployed and with our third child born one month after he was let go). We have a small percentage going to retirement from his income and we both have life insurance. We drive old vehicles that are paid for (one is a ’91, the other an ’02), our house is a modest 1950’s home with very few upgrades, we don’t have satellite/cable tv, our internet package is the cheapest you can get, and we don’t have cell phone plans at this time. However, we are okay with all of that and we don’t want to have those large payments. Now, if we wouldn’t have student loaned ourselves so badly, we’d be able to save more. We are working to pay those loans off. You have to choose to be happy with those choices if they are needed for you to live off one-income. We made the decision for me to stay home and then we figured it out as we went along, just like he commented in his post. :)
Spendwisemom says
We have 5 kids and have lived on one income most of our married lives. That includes having my husband go back to graduate school. We were committed to have me stay home with the kids. That commitment has carried us through the tough times and it has been worth it. It hasn’t been easy, but we never looked back once we made the decision. You just make it work. As for college, most of our kids have been fortunate enough to have scholarships. I believe that when we are committed to do something, other doors open up to help you achieve your goals. Sometimes it was friends sharing clothes, sometimes it was the car lasting longer than it should have, sometimes it was finding good sales on healthy food. Each little thing added up to help us make it. When you are committed to living on one income, you make it work and don’t look back.
Karen@LivinontheSkinny.com says
We were able to do this when we had children. We prepared ahead by working our way to living on one income before the kids arrived. I loved being home with my little ones. I also loved working every once in awhile..usually for just enough money to pay the babysitter. This allowed me to keep my sanity and enjoy being a Mommy again!
Joan says
Love the post Joshua. Our decision was made for us when our second son was born with health complications. I have since come to see it has a blessing in disguise. We were on the two income, two car, two kids and house fast track and if someone had said we could survive on one income I would have thought they were crazy. I won’t say it was easy but it was doable.
Sheila says
This is a great post, Joshua. While my husband makes a good salary, we live in a high cost of living area so I still have to work hard at budgeting to make the money stretch with four kids. Our teenage son will be driving soon, we have two kids in braces, and there’s always medical and dental bills to pay. My job is to manage the home and I take that job very seriously. In order to simplify and help with my budgeting, I recently put together a four week rotating menu plan for our family. I keep well stocked on all of the basics, then go shopping once a week for the grocery items needed for that week’s menu. It had made my life so much easier and I know what’s for dinner any given night.
Thanks for your great words if wisdom on your blog and in your books. You do a great service to many people.
Lisa Hetherington says
I recently put together a four week rotating menu plan for our family. I keep well stocked on all of the basics, then go shopping once a week for the grocery items needed for that week’s menu. It had made my life so much easier and I know what’s for dinner any given night.
Fabulous idea Sheila!!
….Lisa
Kerry says
I would love to know what your rotating meals are!!
mon says
I’m a stay-at-home mom, three young kiddos, daddy’s working, aspiring minimalists. Its been quite difficult. I sometimes don’t know how we survive. Some months are pretty scary, especially when medical bills sneak up on you. And with a large family it can add up from out of nowhere. Still, I always knew I wanted to stay at home with my children while they were young. I’ve since realized that my personality isn’t really fit for being stuck in a box all day, lol. In the long run – the very long run of being older and when the children are all out of the house – I won’t have regrets that my kids were being raised by someone else. I may go a step further and do homeschooling but we’ll have to think a bit more on that one. =)
Jessica says
I think it is awesome that you are able to stay at home. However, women who choose to work are not having their kids “raised by someone else.” Let’s respect everyone’s decisions, as Josh noted.
Sheri says
As a working mom, whose child hasn’t been raised by anyone else…Thank you Jessica. – Although we’ve made it possible to live on one income if we so choose (we do not). I love knowing we CAN if we need too. Minimalism made that possible for us.
Janet says
I don’t think any disrespect was meant by mon’s comment. She has given an opinion that is at the heart of why many parents do decide to stay home while their children are young. And that opinion is just as valid as yours.
Also, wouldn’t it depend on what type of work is being done and how many hours a week it takes? I have known fellow co-workers who worked ungodly hours and saw their children for a few hours a day. Their children were closer to their caretakers because they saw them more than their parents.
Megyn @Unstuffed says
I think #7 is the most important piece of this puzzle. It’s pointless to have one parent stay at home if s/he is feeling unfulfilled. We are currently a one income family due to circumstance. Even with my degree, my earning potential is low, so all of the income would go towards childcare and gas. After spending many years feeling unfulfilled (which many women need to learn that there are many other women who do not find motherhood the end all and be all to life), I ended up taking a job, but requested no pay. It was the best decision I’ve made since having children. I have a flexible schedule, so only work when I have family available to watch our boys. And I get to feel like I can actually use my education and skills to make a positive impact on more than just our small family. Great analysis!