First off, I fully realize this is a very personal topic. For a variety of well-thought-out reasons, not everyone who stumbles upon this post desires to become a one-income family. That’s fine. This is not written to change your thinking or convince you otherwise.
Instead, it is written to encourage those who do desire such a lifestyle. I have known a number of dual-income families over the years who desire to become one-income – typically experienced in conjunction with the birth of a child. This post is written with them in mind.
My wife and I have lived our entire married lives (13 years) on one modest income. We have proven it is possible. And if we can accomplish it, so can you. This post is written to provide you with practical thoughts and encouragement to take the very step you’ve been desiring all along.
Ten years ago, our first child was born. As my wife had always intended, she immediately resigned from her position as an administrative assistant and became a full-time homemaker. At the time, my gross income was less than $40,000/year + health insurance benefits. I offer the numbers only as a frame of reference… there are surely one-income families that live on more and some that live on less. Over the years, I have experienced a number of pay increases (as one might expect), but my career in non-profits was never chosen for its level of compensation.
Still, we were able to survive and thrive on one-income because we took some very intentional steps with our lives, finances, and decisions:
1. Ask when and why, not if. I’m all for careful planning and crunching the numbers, but I’m also all for taking risks and learning to figure things out. When my wife quit her job to stay-at-home, we looked at the financial inflow and outflow. But our intentions in analyzing the numbers were never motivated by the question “Is this going to work?” We had already made the decision. The when/why had already been determined. Budgeting was approached as the means needed to make the necessary adjustments to accomplish it… not as the determining factor.
2. If possible, prepare ahead of time. My wife and I received valuable advice when we got married. A good friend of ours told us, “Decide now to live off one income… even if both of you are working. Put the entire second income directly into savings.” This decision to live off my income alone contributed significantly to our first home’s down-payment. But more importantly, it kept our lifestyle at a level that provided options when our first child was born (or if an unexpected job loss would have occurred). If possible, begin making choices today (avoid debt, lifestyle creep, and high mortgage payments) that will accommodate one income in the future.
3. Be content with less. A one-income family will, by definition, earn less money than a two-income family. The pursuit of possessions will need to be tempered. You’ll own a smaller home with less-fancy cars. Luckily, you won’t be missing much. There’s far more joy to be found in pursuing less than can be found in owning more. *At the time, we were not living minimalist lives (that decision came later). But if we had been, the transition to one-income would have been even easier.
4. Be convinced of the benefits. There are countless benefits to staying at home with young children that motivated our decision: stability, relationship, experience, educational opportunity, scheduling flexibility, consistent discipline, fewer expenses. We recognized these benefits and used the opportunity to make one-income a reality.
5. Budget. A healthy understanding of budgeting is required in most every case. But from my experience, there are only a small variety of expenses that keep families from living on one-income: too costly mortgage, car payments, eating out frequently, exorbitant entertainment expenses (tickets, vacations, and/or alcohol), and credit card debt. Start there and you’ll solve 85-90% of your financial problems. To embrace healthy budgeting techniques, you’ll find countless budgeting tools online. But the one that works best is the one that actually provides you with the tools to live within it. *Additionally, a one-income family is one that treats all incoming revenue as “shared,” not “yours” or “mine.” If you need to change your thinking on this, do it now.
6. Find an outlet for relationship. One difficulty of removing oneself from the workforce is the loss of a built-in network of relationships. Interpersonal relationships with peers are absolutely essential to our well-being. Be intentional in seeking out a place to find them: church, community groups, mom/dad groups, activity groups, etc.
7. Find an outlet for service. You have gifts, talents, experiences, and education that our world needs. And likely, you still desire to use them. Just because you have decided to stay at home does not mean you resigned from using your gifts to change the world. Look for opportunities to use them on a broader scale. There are, after all, countless organizations (schools, community, nonprofits) that need your giftedness. Find one as an outlet for your talents.
8. Embrace temporary or part-time. If there are some internal reasons keeping you from fully becoming a full-time, stay-at-home parent, consider the options of part-time or temporary. You don’t need to leave the workforce permanently. You can still keep a toe in it by finding a part-time employment arrangement that fits your schedule/desire. And as your family becomes more self-reliant, you can always make the decision to return back to work.
Again, this post was motivated by the countless conversations I have had with families who desire to become one-income. It is not the perfect solution for every family. But it has worked well for ours on a relatively modest budget. And if it has worked for us, it is completely achievable for you.
Image: Keoni Cabral
Gladysnotme says
Wow! My husband and I have four children. We decided to both work and get varying days off and schedules. I totally agree with Annie that with today’s technology, it’s possible to still work and take care of a family. There is a great satisfaction in being home with the kids, but also a great satisfaction in brining in increased income. The hubby and I are planning to live off of one income, BUT we aren’t giving the 2nd one up. We simply want to learn how to live off of $40K per year. That would allow us to bank my net income of $44K per year. In 5 years, we can easily go purchase a $200K plus house to fit our large family, and not have a mortgage payment. It’s certainly worth it to be able to have something of real value owned and paid for. The problem is……..how do we learn to reduce our spending. We are going to work at it. We have to stop the frivolous spending. Neither of us are materialistic in terms of designer clothes or fancy cars. Our problem is mostly entertainment (spending time with the kids and their friends)! We need to learn to go to the park with lunch meat sandwiches and juice from home, instead of a day trip to the zoo for about $100 (6 of us and the cost of eating in there). The other thing that hurts us is not packing lunch. I am also in graduate school so things get pretty busy for us. Sometimes we eat out fast food during the day. My kids LOVE homecooked meals, so we need to go back to our old “NO FASTFOOD” rule. Anyway, I am sure we can cut in our grocery expenses by buying generic sometimes or couponing. We can save money by bartering for haircuts or yardwork, etc. Easier said than done, but I am thinking strategically. Gotta put it to action now!
kathryn_dayle says
I have some suggestions for you.
Look online for discounts for where ever you want to visit (zoos, etc).
Have your income, that you are saving, put directly into a separate bank account immediately. Inform the kids what you are doing and why, and ask them for suggestions on how to cut back even more.Make sure you budget in inexpensive treats.
Cut 25% off your grocery budget now. You’d be surprised how well you can adapt, when it is necessary. Stop buying gifts for kids, except for Xmas and birthdays.They will appreciate things so much more.
Buy good quality stuff second hand. On occassion, we even purchased stuff for Xmas presents (within our family) at yardsales or online classifieds.
Lisa says
Thank you for this post! I have been blessed to have been laid off from my job only to find a job that now provides me with the ability to work very part time and from home! I did not know the blessing at the time, but now with an eight month old baby I am so very grateful.
I have been following your blog for a few months and love the principles. We are trying in our home to reduce, reuse and recycle :-) Also, we are happy with an old vehicle, gardening and canning, no credit card debt and limited entertainments. Just yesterday we did our first purge of the bookshelf…and got rid of 1/4 of our books. We know that in the future we may be able to get rid of more books (as an earlier post of your suggests).
We hope to raise our child(ren) in simplicity, with Christ as our focus.
Lor says
Great article! Another reason one may be hesitant to move to a one-income situation is student loan debt. I, myself have recently finished a master’s degree program, and now that I’ve completed it, am expected to find a job so I can start paying the student loan bill. Hmmm. Any thoughts on this situation?
Bobby Fernandez says
I think we need to realize that though not the only cause, dual income households are a large contributor to our declining health in body and character. We are forced to re-prioritize when both parents are out of the house. It is easy to convince ourselves that what is best for our family is a few more vacations and extras rather than consistent home-cooked meals.
Silvia says
Somethimes I admire your way of life, even I never had been in USA. You have a choice to live with one income or not, to be a minimalist or not. Be grateful you live in such country and such sociaty.
I live in a small European country – Bulgaria. Our family income is 7200 USD per year (in our local currency). Can you imagine that anyone of you could live with 600 USD per month? My husband is jobless for almost 3 years because of the hard economic situation here and unfortunately we already have debts, which trouble us very much. 1/4-part of our income goes for montly payment for the debts. But we still manage to survive. No restaurants, no vacations, no trips in-land and abroad, no new cloths and shoes, no presents (only for my 3 nephews for Christmas and their birthdays). All our shoes and clothes are from 5-8-even 10 years and we still wear them by keeping with care, if they are not trendy but classic and in good quality to stay so long. No fancy parties, no new electronic gadgets. We have one car. Unfortunately we haven`t children, probably because of health problems. For now we realize we need increasing our family income to deal with our debts, to take care of our medical problem/s – still unknown, but the result is I can`t become pregnant and we have to make medical tests and procedures, which cots a lot of money. Even if we manage to have a child, we need bigger income to take care of our child, don`t you think? The irony is our one-income experience is not a matter of our choice. It is our bitter reality. So, be thankfull to God you have the choice to be a minimalist because you want it, not because you are forced to be.
Drew says
Silvia, thanks for the massive dose of perspective.
Drew says
Silvia, not sure if you’ll read this…if you do, please go visit my website (drewgagne.com) and send me your contact info at the “Contact” page. I’d like to ask you something.
Shels Smith says
New reader here, and love your blog and all the helpful comments by the readers. I am a single (widowed) parent and have just one income to support my 9 year old son and I. I make a very good income, about $98,000 per year, granted a huge portion of this goes to state/federal taxes, social security and I have to pay $300 per month for my portion of my employer based health insurance. When my son starts middle school in a few years, my dream is to work just half-time. The tricky part is that I will be responsible for 100% of my health insurance then, so that will be about $1000 per month. So bascially, I am looking to survive off half of one income. I would like some input if anyone knows of decent insurance plans (we live in Cali) and if anyone has done something similar??? Thanks so much for you assistance, greatly appreciated.
Drew says
In 5 days we will transition to the single income family, when my wife begins her “leave of absence” (a euphemistic way of saying “I resign but let’s make it final later”). We’re calling it a sabbatical, and she’s going to take as long as she wants to do whatever the hell she wants (in this case travel, triathlon, and some volunteer work).
I’m really happy that we can do this, and I’m happy to carry the load for a while. She deserves it, and has paid it forward by being my #1 supporter over the last 15 years. I think (hope) that this will be the precursor to a series of mini-retirements and sabbaticals that we can both take, either together or individually, to recharge and refocus.
Rebecca says
It doesn’t have to be ‘all or nothing’. And it doesn’t have to be ‘one parent gives up work, the other is the breadwinner’. For my husband and I, we’re both freelance. We usually both work full time from September through to June but neither of us take any contracts during the school summer holidays. We all go camping as a family for a couple of months from July to September. The rest of the year, my husband and I talk about our son – if we think he needs more of our time we discuss and agree which one of us he needs. Sometimes it’s my husband, sometimes it’s me – partly because fathers and mothers are different, and partly because we’re different people. For instance if our son was struggling with Maths, then he DEFINITELY needs his Dad, not me! Whichever one it is turns down work for a while and stays home. Sometimes it’s just one week, sometimes a whole year. We’re a team, roles are flexible. It’s different, but it works for us.
Saph says
Good advice but this lifestyle is harder when you have one income as a single person
christi h. says
Great post! Found you through Frugal Babe…My husband and I have really never stopped living like college students, and that has significantly helped us in living on one income. I wouldn’t call us minimalists, but we always ask “want or need?” when buying something to make sure it’s not a frivolous purchase, and try to buy used as much as possible. Our current Big Hairy Goal is to not pay any interest for a huge home remodel (cheap two-unit that we’re converting back to a single family) on one small income. Having a super-low mortgage payment and going back to one car certainly is helping that goal. Sure, we barely save anything for retirement right now, but next year, when the remodel is finished, we’ll be able to save large amounts every month, and I’m okay with waiting.
Christopher Storer says
Avoiding debt is SO important. When you are ready to put money into retirement, if you stay out of debt, that capital will be there for you to use. It looks like you are doing things right for sure.