Note: This is a guest post from Cheryl Smith of Biblical Minimalism.
I was raised in a household with an income that fell below the poverty line. Dad’s upbringing was in a home with an even lower income. He only achieved an 8th-grade education, and because of that, he had to be one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Mom was a dedicated stay-at-home wife and mother.
We had only one vehicle, so Mom and I usually drove Dad to and from work. One of the images engraved most indelibly in my mind is Dad walking toward our car, his clothes soaked with sweat from an honest-to-goodness hard day’s work. On payday, his wages seemed so meager and unequal to the amount of himself he poured into earning them.
Seeing Mom and Dad constantly worry about making ends meet no matter how hard Dad tried to provide for us lit a fire of dogged determination inside of me. I made up my mind that when I grew up, I would do anything I had to do to rise above such intense struggle to survive, even if that meant living above my means and financing everything I owned. That strong-willed sense of resolve to avoid “poverty” was alive and well when I met the man of my dreams, fell in love, and got married at the age of 21.
For the first several years of our marriage, my husband and I successfully accumulated the stuff that makes up the American dream. We both worked hard to meet the demands and expectations of what that “dream” should look like—home ownership, two jobs, two cars, lots of physical possessions, and a lavish amount of available credit to make it all come true. All along, it seemed so important to me to have the things I thought my parents “lacked.”
Then, while we weren’t looking, those long days turned into short years, and life had progressed to middle age. Dad, who had always been strong and stout and the hardest worker I ever knew, passed away long before his time. I watched as the ensuing sadness of widowhood consumed Mom’s heart and life. And then, after nearly twelve years of profound loneliness and health issues, she, too, passed away.
Standing beside both of my parents’ bedsides as their beyond-valuable, earthly lives came to an end, knowing they would no longer be part of my everyday life and feeling that sense of finality forced me to face my own mortality and was the most sobering thing I have ever experienced.
Suddenly, the fact that my parents lived their entire lives being “poor” didn’t seem so important. It didn’t seem so sad that they owned very little because they were not able to take one single thing with them from earth to Heaven anyway. They left this world just like they entered it. They brought nothing into it, and they carried nothing out. As their final breaths were breathed and their last feeble good-byes were spoken, the fact that they were poor was the farthest thing from our minds and meant nothing.
What did matter and what firmly remained was the strong foundation of faith they had so thoughtfully laid and upon which they had taught me to build, the value of hard work they had instilled in me, and the deep bond of love that even death will never be able to sever.
After Mom died, it took us only one day to go through her tiny apartment and pack up her, and what was left of Dad’s, belongings. There was no cause for beneficiary rivalry or squabbling over their possessions because living a life of necessitated minimalism removed that prospect. At that point, the fact that Mom and Dad were poor brought a great sense of relief.
Not long after Mom passed away, my little family and I felt an impassioned call toward a simple, minimal life. We sold what we had to pay what we owed, and with reckless abandon, gratefully released the “American dream” and all it demanded of us. We are now three years into this amazing adventure, 100% debt-free and have never been happier or more at peace.
The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from being raised in a low-income family are countless, and I wouldn’t trade those life lessons for anything.
Here are ten of them.
1. People are worth immeasurably more than things.
2. Teaching your children how to live is much more important than anything money can buy.
3. It’s amazing how little it takes to survive if you learn to “make do” and improvise.
4. You don’t have to own something to love and enjoy it.
5. Experiences with the ones you love create the most precious memories, and most of the time cost nothing. Memories are lightweight, take up zero space, cannot be stolen, do not have to be maintained, and never cause worry. To invest in them is infinitely wiser than accumulating stuff.
6. It is smart to rent a home if “ownership” requires going into debt and living above your means.
7. Holding a clear title to one car is wiser than incurring debt to have two.
8. Grieving loved ones should not be laden with the added burden of dealing with excess, left-behind possessions.
9. Working hard never hurt anyone. In fact, there are few things more gratifying than the completion of a hard day’s work.
10. When you die, you take nothing from earth with you, and the main thing you should leave behind is the legacy of a life well-loved.
The other day, it occurred to me that we are, by choice, living a life that looks very similar to the life my parents lived, by necessity. It seems that I have come full circle in my way of thinking, and those childhood lessons were not lost after all. I finally fully appreciate their wisdom for what it’s truly worth.
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Cheryl Smith blogs at Biblical Minimalism. Her family sold their home, released 90% of their physical possessions, got out of debt, and now share their story and their Christian faith on their blog. Her book, Biblical Minimalism, is now available. In it, she approaches minimalism from a Biblical perspective.
Oli says
I read this as I was packing up for the day to go home to my wife and son. Worth the wait to read this. Thank you for sharing.
Cheryl Smith says
I am so glad you enjoyed the article, Oli, and I trust you had a safe trip home to be with your wife and son. May God bless all three of you and keep you always in His care!
Brooke says
Wonderful story! Thank you for sharing
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you so much for your kind words, Brooke! God bless you always.
Leslie H Littlefield says
Great story, brought tears to my eyes. Everything you said is so true and thoughtfully worded.
Cheryl Smith says
Leslie, I am so grateful for your kind words and thankful you enjoyed this post. May God bless you!
Sunita says
Very good read, resonated with my upbringing, however only difference was my father whose thoughts and principles are above any living being I have known personally, despite being a surgeon, decided to impose self poverty ever since he graduated from med school. He opted for Gandhian principle of earning only what he needs to live month to month and rest of his work is done to help others and he will only be a trustee of his time on this earth. So he never owned anything willingly1 Along with that he kept his needs to the minimum all his life. At a very young age of 30 he set up this amazing non profit hospital from scratch, starting from a few rooms of rented premises that now has grown to two ful fledged hospital campuses and serve poorest of the poor with any general and urologic surgeries they need with highest care and compassion and lowest out of pocket expense to the patients. Though he has served his non profit from being a director to the serving physician all his life his salary is probably only double than any lowest paid job in both the non profit hospital he serves.
At the age of 65, He still lives with 5 pairs of clothes, still gets his clothes repaired when torn instead of buying new and works more than full time in the hospital along with fighting for all kinds of social and political causes affecting the poor.
To me his donation of his life, work and time is something even most well intentioned money donations can not produce.
Above all he laughs like a child, sleeps like a child, trusts and believes in every human being like a child! I have never heard him say ‘i am tired’ all his life till now despite working 14-18 hrs a day and still not having a set schedule of meals and sleeping. He does not believe in medication to relieve routine aches and pains. He eats the most simple foods, never shows any likes or dislikes to specific foods, has never needed any form of entertainment or vacations. His legacy will be unparalleled for everyone that has been fortunate to ever know him!
Mary Beuving says
I absolutely love this story Sunita, and after studying great people who have gone before me, (Mother Teresa, Amy Carmichael and such) I try to live this way too. Where did your father start the hospitals? Can you tell me any more about this? I am attempting to leave a legacy that is not a burden, and work very hard myself in my own little calling. Thank you for sharing!
Mary
Cheryl Smith says
I, too, love to study those heroes of the faith, Mary. Their dedicated, selfless lives are so inspiring, and it is so wonderful that you are following in their footsteps. One day, others will look back on your life and example and be inspired to live better lives. God bless you!
Anne says
Your dad’s story is so inspirational, and just what I needed to hear today as I consider the direction of my own life. Thank you for sharing it.
Cheryl Smith says
I trust you will find every answer you seek, Anne. God bless you!
Cheryl Smith says
Wow, Sunita! What a wonderful, giving, kind father you have been blessed with! I am so thankful you shared his/your story with us here. It was so inspiring and motivating. Your Dad has truly laid down his life for others, and there is no greater love. May God bless him for all he has done, and may He bless you, too!
Rangimarie Stevenson says
Sunita Wow!!
I live in New Zealand and this morning, reading your words about your father, his work ethics and kindness, bought tears streaming down my face. A REMARKABLE man indeed!
Thank you for sharing your story..it will remain in my heart for sometime I’m sure.
Valerie Rogers says
All you take from this world is your essence, and inseparable friend or family bond. I believe anything owned – however meager – is better than anything rented.
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you for sharing your perspective and thoughts, Valerie! God bless you!
Daisy54 says
This was such a great, beautifully written article, and, for me, served as a refresher course in realigning my priorities. It’s so easy to fall back into old habits of gathering “stuff” for momentary satisfaction but the “stuff” ultimately has the effect of causing anxiety and a feeling of being overwhelmed. Thank you for the reminder!
Cheryl Smith says
You are so right, Daisy. It is so easy to fall back into accummulating more stuff and to forget how much anxiety it all causes. Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words and encouragement. God bless you!
Mary Joy says
Beautiful article
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you so much, Mary Joy! God bless you.
C.J. says
Oh, what a great read that brought tears to my eyes! I, too, grew up poor, and many of the points covered in this article resonated with me. Thank you for sharing!
Cheryl Smith says
Oh, thank you so much, C.J.! I am so thankful you could relate to my story and so appreciate your kind words. God bless you!
Joy says
Cheryl, I loved everything about this article! ❤️
Thanks for posting Joshua! ?
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you so much, Joy! I am so grateful for your kind words. God bless you!
Cathy Jasso says
This was such a beautiful article and I saw my family situation so similar to yours. Thank you for sharing!!!
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you so much for reading and commenting, Cathy! It is wonderful to know that you could relate to my story, and I am so grateful for your kind words. God bless you!