Note: This is a guest post from Cheryl Smith of Biblical Minimalism.
I was raised in a household with an income that fell below the poverty line. Dad’s upbringing was in a home with an even lower income. He only achieved an 8th-grade education, and because of that, he had to be one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Mom was a dedicated stay-at-home wife and mother.
We had only one vehicle, so Mom and I usually drove Dad to and from work. One of the images engraved most indelibly in my mind is Dad walking toward our car, his clothes soaked with sweat from an honest-to-goodness hard day’s work. On payday, his wages seemed so meager and unequal to the amount of himself he poured into earning them.
Seeing Mom and Dad constantly worry about making ends meet no matter how hard Dad tried to provide for us lit a fire of dogged determination inside of me. I made up my mind that when I grew up, I would do anything I had to do to rise above such intense struggle to survive, even if that meant living above my means and financing everything I owned. That strong-willed sense of resolve to avoid “poverty” was alive and well when I met the man of my dreams, fell in love, and got married at the age of 21.
For the first several years of our marriage, my husband and I successfully accumulated the stuff that makes up the American dream. We both worked hard to meet the demands and expectations of what that “dream” should look like—home ownership, two jobs, two cars, lots of physical possessions, and a lavish amount of available credit to make it all come true. All along, it seemed so important to me to have the things I thought my parents “lacked.”
Then, while we weren’t looking, those long days turned into short years, and life had progressed to middle age. Dad, who had always been strong and stout and the hardest worker I ever knew, passed away long before his time. I watched as the ensuing sadness of widowhood consumed Mom’s heart and life. And then, after nearly twelve years of profound loneliness and health issues, she, too, passed away.
Standing beside both of my parents’ bedsides as their beyond-valuable, earthly lives came to an end, knowing they would no longer be part of my everyday life and feeling that sense of finality forced me to face my own mortality and was the most sobering thing I have ever experienced.
Suddenly, the fact that my parents lived their entire lives being “poor” didn’t seem so important. It didn’t seem so sad that they owned very little because they were not able to take one single thing with them from earth to Heaven anyway. They left this world just like they entered it. They brought nothing into it, and they carried nothing out. As their final breaths were breathed and their last feeble good-byes were spoken, the fact that they were poor was the farthest thing from our minds and meant nothing.
What did matter and what firmly remained was the strong foundation of faith they had so thoughtfully laid and upon which they had taught me to build, the value of hard work they had instilled in me, and the deep bond of love that even death will never be able to sever.
After Mom died, it took us only one day to go through her tiny apartment and pack up her, and what was left of Dad’s, belongings. There was no cause for beneficiary rivalry or squabbling over their possessions because living a life of necessitated minimalism removed that prospect. At that point, the fact that Mom and Dad were poor brought a great sense of relief.
Not long after Mom passed away, my little family and I felt an impassioned call toward a simple, minimal life. We sold what we had to pay what we owed, and with reckless abandon, gratefully released the “American dream” and all it demanded of us. We are now three years into this amazing adventure, 100% debt-free and have never been happier or more at peace.
The nuggets of wisdom I gleaned from being raised in a low-income family are countless, and I wouldn’t trade those life lessons for anything.
Here are ten of them.
1. People are worth immeasurably more than things.
2. Teaching your children how to live is much more important than anything money can buy.
3. It’s amazing how little it takes to survive if you learn to “make do” and improvise.
4. You don’t have to own something to love and enjoy it.
5. Experiences with the ones you love create the most precious memories, and most of the time cost nothing. Memories are lightweight, take up zero space, cannot be stolen, do not have to be maintained, and never cause worry. To invest in them is infinitely wiser than accumulating stuff.
6. It is smart to rent a home if “ownership” requires going into debt and living above your means.
7. Holding a clear title to one car is wiser than incurring debt to have two.
8. Grieving loved ones should not be laden with the added burden of dealing with excess, left-behind possessions.
9. Working hard never hurt anyone. In fact, there are few things more gratifying than the completion of a hard day’s work.
10. When you die, you take nothing from earth with you, and the main thing you should leave behind is the legacy of a life well-loved.
The other day, it occurred to me that we are, by choice, living a life that looks very similar to the life my parents lived, by necessity. It seems that I have come full circle in my way of thinking, and those childhood lessons were not lost after all. I finally fully appreciate their wisdom for what it’s truly worth.
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Cheryl Smith blogs at Biblical Minimalism. Her family sold their home, released 90% of their physical possessions, got out of debt, and now share their story and their Christian faith on their blog. Her book, Biblical Minimalism, is now available. In it, she approaches minimalism from a Biblical perspective.
Josephine Peters says
Thank you Cheryl for this beautiful reminder. We all know it – but still media & society might distract me from time to time. This time it’s the opposite of distraction. :) Thank you fro sharing your story & learnings <3
Tom says
I lost my dad at 9yo, my mom with an 8th grade education cleaned houses (scrubbed toilets, as she always put it) to keep us alive and together. I fully appreciate that friendship and love are of a much higher power than could ever-be ‘stuff’. Take care of what you have and who you have in your life, the minimal life will explode to a largesse you never imagined.
Mohammad Chowdhury says
great post and Read thoroughly .I also write in my website forex personal finance geniussuperman.com
Mona Kimble says
My 91 year old mother-in-law just sent me this blog entry. You are a wise man. We have a dilemma we’d like you to consider. Our home is an average 3 bedroom house but on a daily basis we only live in 1/3rd of it. We need every bit of space when the kids and grandkids visit, however. How does this fit in with your thinking?
Paul Pickering says
it might be cheaper to put them up in a hotel / motel/ airbnb / other option, and live in a smaller home.
option two: can you use the space to add to your income when your relatives are not visiting? (airbnb, for example)
cheers
Paul
Sinkule Margaret says
If your home is paid off, I’d minimalism the “stuff” in it and close off what you don’t use, ac/heat vents, unplug all unused electrical things, etc.
Dividend Power says
Nice article that keeps one grounded.
Cheryl says
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind comment! God bless you.
Success Triangles says
This is an awesome read. Thank you so much for sharing! We are early on in our minimalism journey but it is exciting to see what the finish line looks like.
Cheryl Smith says
That is so wonderful and encouraging to hear! It has been an amazingly rewarding and liberating journey for us, and we have zero regrets over letting go. I hope every step of your journey is filled with peace and confirmation that you are doing the right thing. God bless you always!
Amy Madrinan says
This is so enlightening especially to people like me who is an empty nester. I will make sure that my children will not encounter problems of decluttering, purging donating and recycling over stuffed house. My legacy will be such that we have not lived in excess, clutter and materialism. But that we lived and focused on more important matters which they will eventually make full use of and reminisce with love.
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you for your kind words, Amy! It is so thoughtful of you to look ahead and think of what your children will go through after you are gone. Minimizing is certainly for their benefit, too, and letting go of excess is a selfless gift that they will appreciate. God bless you!
Heather Mason says
That was a great story and I am happy you have found your way.
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you so much for reading and for your kind words, Heather! God bless you.
Steveark says
I do think leaving a lot of personal possessions behind would be burdening your family. I do not think that is true for leaving them money. My parents modeled good money habits like faithfully tithing and avoiding debt. They got rid of most of their stuff when they had to move into a nursing home. But they left my brother and I each a million dollars when they passed and that felt like a blessing, not a burden. It wasn’t enough money to change my life in any way, I already had more than that. But it was a tangible result of my parents’ hard work and wise stewardship of what God had entrusted to them.
Cheryl Smith says
Such wonderful, Godly parents you had, Steveark! I am so thankful you shared your story and grateful God has given you such a spiritual legacy to follow and cherish. May He continue to bless you always!
Toni says
I also grew up in such a household. My parents were poor but extremely religious. We had five kids in Catholic school and I remember being disappointed that dad didn’t make more money. However, now at 70 and a minimalist, I am so happy and was glad not to have had too much to go through when they passed away. I also have more respect for the life we lived. I would never want anything more. For my children, I remain a very content minimalist.
Michelle says
Absolutely lovely story! I’m in the middle of a cross country move to be closer to family again. Your wisdom shared in your story will make a difference in how I approach the rest of my move. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
With gratitude,
Michelle ??❤️????
Cheryl Smith says
Thank you ever so much for your kind words, Michelle! They warmed my heart, and I am so grateful the telling of my story is helping you in the decisions regarding your move. So thankful you will get to be close to your family again! May God bless and prosper your efforts, bring you safely to your destination, and grant you many happy years with the ones you love!
Cheryl Smith says
Your parents sound like such wonderful people, Toni! It is amazing how we see things in a different light as we get older, and the difficult parts of our growing up years instill wisdom in us that we don’t sometimes recognize or fully appreciate until years down the road. Your children are so blessed to now see you living out that wisdom and passing it on to them. God bless you!