I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier this year when she made a fascinating remark to me.
They were in the process of selling their large home in order to pay off some debt. When I asked her how they came to that decision, she said to me, “We’ve decided to hit reset on our life.”
She continued, “For too long we’ve overextended ourselves financially, and it’s time to take whatever steps are necessary to start fresh. So we put our house on the market and began living within a tighter budget. I don’t know what we were thinking living like that for so long, but it’s time to hit reset on our lives.”
I found the phrase to be almost magical.
“We’ve decided to hit reset on our lives.”
I was reminded of a computer that had begun to run too slow, overheating with too many applications running in the background. CTLR-ALT-DEL… Reset.
Or as Anne Lamott once said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
In speaking with my friend, I was reminded of my own life. In many ways, I hit reset on my own life when I discovered minimalism. I went back to the beginning, challenging my consumption, and the many unhealthy habits that had become present in my life.
Of course, not every life is in need of a full reset. And I’m smart enough to know that resetting a life is not the same as restarting a computer. You can’t just delete past memories, experiences, injuries, or every unenjoyable responsibility in your life. Resetting the direction of one’s life requires more than a few minutes of downtime.
But we are nearing January 1—the time of year when we naturally assess the trajectory of our lives and what direction we are heading.
And maybe, just like my friend, your life needs a reset.
There is a powerful truth in the reality that you are in control of your life and you alone are responsible for the experience of living it. If you do not like the direction you are heading, you alone can choose a new path. If you have become overloaded financially or overburdened in your schedule, you alone can hit reset on your life. Even if our relationships have turned unhealthy, there is a lot we can do individually to foster an environment for change.
If your life needs a reset, it is within your power to do so.
But how do we go about hitting reset in our lives?
I fear to say these are not easy steps. This is not your typical 10 Minutes to a Clutter-Free Morning blog post. These are weighty changes that require not just re-establishing a mindset, but also implementing the hard work of making it a reality. Sometimes these changes require conversations with loved ones that may or may not be thinking about the same things.
But life reset is possible.
My friend is a mother with a husband and two teenage daughters. If she can hit reset during that stage of life, so can you.
Here are some of the places we might look to reset:
1. Look hard at your spending.
Lifestyle creep occurs when an individual’s standard of living improves as their discretionary income rises and former luxuries become new necessities. If the idea of minimalism is brand-new to you, it is very likely lifestyle creep has crept into your life more than you realize. If rethinking your finances (getting out of debt or beginning to save) is part of the necessary reset, start by looking at your spending.
2. Consider your time commitments.
Many of us live hurried, stressed lives. We rush from one activity to another. For some people, this is within their nature and they thrive in that type of environment. But for others, the urgent is keeping you from the more important, longer-lasting pursuits available to all of us. Consider the time commitments you have slowly accumulated over the years and find a new filter to promote your highest values.
3. Question your work.
The average person spends more than 90,000 hours of their lifetime at work. For many, work has become their routine and they’ve given up any thought of changing. Our job is our job and we give little thought to the reality of something different. I think that’s why two-thirds of Americans report being disengaged at work. I know that changing jobs is not always easy and not always possible. But if we’re talking seriously about hitting the reset button on our lives, looking at what we do a third of our waking hours is an essential consideration.
4. Check your motivations.
There is great progress to be made in life when we look deeper than our actions and begin checking the motivations behind them. When we don’t actively keep our motivations in check, unhealthy ones begin to emerge. We become motivated by the pursuit of riches, accolades, or building our own selfish kingdom. On an almost daily basis, it is wise to check our motivations, but we rarely do. If we can see the need for an entire life reset, it would be foolish to not check the internal motivations that may have moved us to our current situation.
5. Evaluate your relationships.
People are not things and choosing which relationships to keep and which to remove is not as simple as decluttering clothes in your closet. There are some relationships where both parties benefit and there are some relationships where we benefit. But there also ought to be some relationships in our lives where we are serving and giving and being the one who loves more. Balance is important in this area. Evaluate the current relationships in your life. Are your closest friends moving you toward the person you want to be or are they holding you back?
6. Be honest about your habits.
Sometimes, the habits we develop increase our chance of success. But other times, our habits keep us from it. How do you spend your day? How do you care for your health and body? What habits are creating a better you and which habits are keeping you stuck where you are? Resetting your life is going to require more than a one-time decision or evaluation. Often times, it is going to require you to rewire your habits from the ground up.
I don’t offer this list above as exhaustive. Certainly there are other considerations to factor in your life reset.
More than anything, I simply want to encourage you. Your life doesn’t have to remain on the same trajectory that it is today.
You can hit reset if you need to.
Veronica says
CTLR-ALT-DEL… Reset.
Beautiful phrase. For me this year has been to reset my habit of social media. I have cut down on posting stories if any. I’m trying to stay away from my addiction. Because I’ve accepted it’s an addiction. This morning I decided each day take it a little step to get better at it. The problem is part of my job. I have to market myself for my business growth. For next year and decade I will work hard to limit it and have a social media calendar. For my private life no more. I feel if somebody wants to know about me they will call me or text me. Social media can be good for business, but don’t let it be an excused to keep in contact with family or friends. Call them, meet for coffee the human connection is essential.
CW says
I’m having trouble avoiding the lifestyle creep. I’m 35 and hit a plateau… my husband and I have always been doing big things and now it’s weird not to have these huge materialistic & outward goals. We were always busy reaching for the next thing; working through high school and college, getting married, building a house, growing our family, & quitting my job to stay home. Now we have buckled down to eliminate more debt and travel more but it’s hard not to envy those going to the next level in their career or moving to the bigger house. Help!
I know what we are doing is right for us but the temptation is so real and in your face.
B.F.W. says
CW – I am in a similar position. I took a step-down in my responsibilities/role to decrease stress and have more flexibility, but I find myself envious of co-workers or counterparts that continue to move up the ladder. Its difficult to ‘put the blinders on’ and stay focused on my priorities, and remember why I made the choice. I wish I had great advice to help, but wanted you to know you are not alone.
CW says
Thank you. I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who feels this way.
I’m able to avoid the glitter for awhile and then something catches my eye.
Sharon Payne says
Thank you for this article. My husband just retired from Pastoring a church for 25 yrs. We will be moving out of the really nice parsonage by late Spring. Your input is so good, but I’m just stuck trying to figure out how to reset everything right now. Physical move into something smaller and to be honest not near as nice, emotions of where we live now in the country vs being in a place where homes are up against each other, letting go of physical things we won’t be able to fit into where we may live next and resetting my own life to something different. Learning to reset everything is difficult and I just do not know where to start.
Whitney says
I think a lot of people pour theirselves into their jobs because they secretly crave purpose and meaning, which for we were designed. They feel like it gives them some purpose (even if they don’t realize) and therefore overindulge because their actual life feels unfulfilling. Not to mention the motivation behind working, money. I like to feel like my job has a purpose and I am giving back and do not over drive myself for the money aspect of it. I feel much better about my job that way.
Kaye says
I have been purging and decluttering for about three years now. I have been looking at the other areas of my life you mentioned, but have taken little action. It’s time to get the last of the big purge finished and turn my focus to these areas of life. I rest easier knowing my family will have so much less physical “stuff” to deal with when I am no longer able to. Getting these other areas in line with my new values will allow me a peace I have never experienced. What a wonderful way to live out the rest of my life. What a wonderful example to set for my children, who have so much of their life ahead of them. Thank you for this! Bless you and your wisdom.
Paul Falvo says
Concise and valuable – this post puts into words thoughts that I’ve been swirling around. I have been re-listening to “The Minimalist Home” on audio book and scheming.
Thank you, Joshua, for being you and for directing us to a higher purpose. I appreciate that you remind us to enjoy enough, to consume less, and use our abilities and resources to help others.
Christina gomez says
I love to give things away,I love to live without clutter. My main problem is gift buying when it’s not even a holiday. My heart loves to give. But I’m going to have to pray about restarting myself to be wise about my purchases,and what would be a better alternative,be it time with a person and an experience,say a movie,lunch,or a pedicure,because we are also called to be wise with our money. I found your Christmas list on your blog very helpful,thankyou.
Dawn says
Printing this out to talk to God about in my quiet time. I may never be a minimalist, but I definitely can revise some of these things in my life.
Sue Stefford-Grey says
Your suggestion that we reconsider our motivations was helpful to me. When I do that, I become aware of how much my fear of being hungry leads me to eat to prevent hunger, rather than to nourish my body and spirit. I also become aware that my craving for a beautiful home and a peaceful life cannot be satisfied by acquiring more stuff. All of this reminds me of what Eric Bern once said, “You can’t get enough of what you don’t really want.” I’m in the process of resetting, and it feels wonderful. Thank you. Sue
Laura Ann says
Sue: we reset back in Oct, unloaded a house and moved to a retirement community and now rent, no yard work, upkeep overall. More free time and downsized much and donated. Most people have stuff they don’t use or need. I still need to declutter some by Spring. Why leave a burden to others someday that would have to unload a bunch of stuff?
Sal Crosland says
This post really resonated with me Joshua. I think, like you, when I decided to become a Minimalist, I ‘reset’ lots of things in my life.
Nowadays, I have much more free time, I work for myself and have a lot less stress, but looking at your list made me realise there are a few things that I’m not happy with, especially finances and health! Those old habits die hard ;)
Thank you for the nudge and the motivation, it’s opened my eyes to having another reset!
-Sal