I was talking to a good friend of mine earlier this year when she made a fascinating remark to me.
They were in the process of selling their large home in order to pay off some debt. When I asked her how they came to that decision, she said to me, “We’ve decided to hit reset on our life.”
She continued, “For too long we’ve overextended ourselves financially, and it’s time to take whatever steps are necessary to start fresh. So we put our house on the market and began living within a tighter budget. I don’t know what we were thinking living like that for so long, but it’s time to hit reset on our lives.”
I found the phrase to be almost magical.
“We’ve decided to hit reset on our lives.”
I was reminded of a computer that had begun to run too slow, overheating with too many applications running in the background. CTLR-ALT-DEL… Reset.
Or as Anne Lamott once said, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
In speaking with my friend, I was reminded of my own life. In many ways, I hit reset on my own life when I discovered minimalism. I went back to the beginning, challenging my consumption, and the many unhealthy habits that had become present in my life.
Of course, not every life is in need of a full reset. And I’m smart enough to know that resetting a life is not the same as restarting a computer. You can’t just delete past memories, experiences, injuries, or every unenjoyable responsibility in your life. Resetting the direction of one’s life requires more than a few minutes of downtime.
But we are nearing January 1—the time of year when we naturally assess the trajectory of our lives and what direction we are heading.
And maybe, just like my friend, your life needs a reset.
There is a powerful truth in the reality that you are in control of your life and you alone are responsible for the experience of living it. If you do not like the direction you are heading, you alone can choose a new path. If you have become overloaded financially or overburdened in your schedule, you alone can hit reset on your life. Even if our relationships have turned unhealthy, there is a lot we can do individually to foster an environment for change.
If your life needs a reset, it is within your power to do so.
But how do we go about hitting reset in our lives?
I fear to say these are not easy steps. This is not your typical 10 Minutes to a Clutter-Free Morning blog post. These are weighty changes that require not just re-establishing a mindset, but also implementing the hard work of making it a reality. Sometimes these changes require conversations with loved ones that may or may not be thinking about the same things.
But life reset is possible.
My friend is a mother with a husband and two teenage daughters. If she can hit reset during that stage of life, so can you.
Here are some of the places we might look to reset:
1. Look hard at your spending.
Lifestyle creep occurs when an individual’s standard of living improves as their discretionary income rises and former luxuries become new necessities. If the idea of minimalism is brand-new to you, it is very likely lifestyle creep has crept into your life more than you realize. If rethinking your finances (getting out of debt or beginning to save) is part of the necessary reset, start by looking at your spending.
2. Consider your time commitments.
Many of us live hurried, stressed lives. We rush from one activity to another. For some people, this is within their nature and they thrive in that type of environment. But for others, the urgent is keeping you from the more important, longer-lasting pursuits available to all of us. Consider the time commitments you have slowly accumulated over the years and find a new filter to promote your highest values.
3. Question your work.
The average person spends more than 90,000 hours of their lifetime at work. For many, work has become their routine and they’ve given up any thought of changing. Our job is our job and we give little thought to the reality of something different. I think that’s why two-thirds of Americans report being disengaged at work. I know that changing jobs is not always easy and not always possible. But if we’re talking seriously about hitting the reset button on our lives, looking at what we do a third of our waking hours is an essential consideration.
4. Check your motivations.
There is great progress to be made in life when we look deeper than our actions and begin checking the motivations behind them. When we don’t actively keep our motivations in check, unhealthy ones begin to emerge. We become motivated by the pursuit of riches, accolades, or building our own selfish kingdom. On an almost daily basis, it is wise to check our motivations, but we rarely do. If we can see the need for an entire life reset, it would be foolish to not check the internal motivations that may have moved us to our current situation.
5. Evaluate your relationships.
People are not things and choosing which relationships to keep and which to remove is not as simple as decluttering clothes in your closet. There are some relationships where both parties benefit and there are some relationships where we benefit. But there also ought to be some relationships in our lives where we are serving and giving and being the one who loves more. Balance is important in this area. Evaluate the current relationships in your life. Are your closest friends moving you toward the person you want to be or are they holding you back?
6. Be honest about your habits.
Sometimes, the habits we develop increase our chance of success. But other times, our habits keep us from it. How do you spend your day? How do you care for your health and body? What habits are creating a better you and which habits are keeping you stuck where you are? Resetting your life is going to require more than a one-time decision or evaluation. Often times, it is going to require you to rewire your habits from the ground up.
I don’t offer this list above as exhaustive. Certainly there are other considerations to factor in your life reset.
More than anything, I simply want to encourage you. Your life doesn’t have to remain on the same trajectory that it is today.
You can hit reset if you need to.
Jaz says
Thank you.
Maithili says
Being a teenager I have been gone through lot these unusual days. My routines aren’t going well. But I thought for a while and understood that however one’s future and past may be what important is one’s present.So making one’s present perfect, enjoyable, productive, aesthetic and remarkable is necessary. Then I found your blog post and was happy to read and learn something. I myself felt the need for me to reset my life and bring my thoughts in action. Gonna try this. Wish me luck :)
Nicole says
As someone nearly 50 I just want to give you encouragement in your journey! I wish in my teens and 20’s I’d thought more consciously about the choices I was making instead of being on auto-pilot to just follow the “American dream”. My oldest child is in his first year of college and my other child is in 10th grade – I hope like you they will take time to focus on the present and not worry about the past or the future.
Rica says
The message of this post resonated with me so much and the timing is miraculous! I came across this post while decluttering my overflowing unread e-mails. I am trying to declutter my e-mail because it gave me the same chaotic feeling similar to what I am currently feeling about my current circumstances. I am (technically) unemployed at the moment. Technically, because I still do have some workload to finish, which is long overdue, from my most recently ended job contract that is 4 months ago. Without active income for almost 7 months now, I lived off of my savings and emergency funds and I accumulated debts. I am broke as hell. With all the anxiety and stress from my career meltdown, I became more unproductive and mentally dysfunctional that my mental health issues took a toll on my schooling. My relationship with my siblings has been in chaos, my relationship with my parents is in chaos and my relationship with my boyfriend is in chaos! I can’t run to my friends because I know for a fact that they have problems to deal with, too. Everything around me right now is going down and in chaos. But I’ve been trying so hard to pick up the shattered pieces of my whole being, then I read this post. I sure do need that “RESET” button. Re-evaluate everything from the points mentioned, then try even harder to pick myself up from the rock bottom I’m buried right now. I still believe that better days are not out of my reach, but it sure will take a hell of a ride to reach one day! After all, it is really hard to deal with all of this alone.
Lori says
Rica – your post has made me realize that this could happen to any of us but we don’t have to go through it alone. You are in my heart and I am with you about how life can be unfair. Keep writing and find support around you. Best to you, ovovov
Rebecca J. Casdidy says
Just starting!
S. Davis says
It’s very rare to find inspiration that moves you to do something. I’ve enjoyed your posts and inspirational outlook. It has provided so much clarity and has given me the strength to do more with what I have for others. I’ve been able to find ways to place positivity all around me from the things I do and wear. I found a great inspirational and self-love site called yeameapparel.com. Please share this with your readers, it has helped me and hopefully, it will help you and your readers. Keep going and I will keep reading! Thank you!
Laura sullivan says
I’m 81 in a week. I’m going to be single after 27 years. I know I can live with less and I believe this site will support me. Thank you.
Christy says
I have been working toward minimizing my and my family’s life. It is just me and two of my sons are still at home. I am hitting reset by quitting my job. I’m a nurse and have been for 20 yrs and I’m just done. Hit a brick wall and tired of being miserable, always exhausted, and with WAY TOO MUCH responsibility on my shoulders on the job. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but it won’t be nursing! The beauty of minimalism, I don’t NEED much of anything so less money won’t really matter. I am ready for some peace.
Pat says
I am pretty much the same without being a nurse. I like what you said;I have no idea what I’m going to do, but it won’t be nursing! I do not know my new direction yet but Feb 15 I am hitting reset and starting our new and next adventure in life.
Anna says
Great and timely post, I think I am slowly starting to incorporate changes into my life, especially when it comes to cutting down on commitments and spending time doing things I really enjoy.
Leslie H. says
I completely agree. Other than continuously giving up my own needs to assist others (certainly a selfless, and equally self gratification endeavor), I want to conpletely free myself from excessive time consuming tasks, and just live and love the universe. I know the HUGE differences between needs and wants…
I an processing the grand gesture of recovering from bliss and then 12 years of instability and needs vs wants.
We are all a work in progress with self awareness.
Stacy says
This is excellent, thank you! I recently went to the podiatrist and over the past 5 years four members of our family have needed appointments with her. I left my appointment with the distinct impression that she’s doing exactly what she’s been called to do. I think part of a reset is when you know that you are doing exactly what you were made to do and you’ve left every hinderance behind!
Ephesians 2:10 & Hebrews 12:1-2
Thanks again, Joshua, for the excellent read!
Rachel Plummer says
Great post. I am leaving my job in less then a week because…well, it is no longer serving me. We started living minimally about a year ago and saving or donating 100% of my income, so we’re used to living smaller and that is allowing me to leave a job I hate. Love this lifestyle and all it ‘affords’!
-Rache