Ask yourself, with every thing you own, Why do I own this?
When you do, you will be surprised at the answers.
In my own life, it was the question of “Why?” that forced me to uncover and evaluate many of the unhealthy motivations that were contributing to my over-accumulation in the first place. Once I knew them, I was better equipped to overcome them.
For example, one of the first areas of my home that I chose to minimize was my closet. When I did, I noticed all sorts of different styles and colors and fits of clothing, many of which I no longer wore.
Of course, I am not alone in this—many of our closets are filled with items we no longer wear. Our over-filled closets have nothing to do with functionality.
Why do we own closets full of clothing and so much more than we need? Is it because we love them all or because we need that many shirts or shoes? No, of course not.
We buy them because we are trying to keep up with changing fashions—the same changing styles that the fashion industry tells us we need to remain in style.
Similarly, when we look in our living rooms, we notice all kinds of decorations and knick-knacks cluttering our shelves. Why do we have them? Because we love them and they tell the story of our lives? Doubtful.
Instead, we bought them because they were on sale, they matched the couch, or those built-in shelves needed something on them.
In each case, we buy things and keep them, not because they benefit our lives, but for some other intention.
This question (Why do I have this?) makes the process of decluttering easier and holds benefit for almost every item we own: Why do I own these CDs, that piece of furniture, these toys, these old electronics, those books? Once we determine the Why? we are better equipped to answer the What now?
Asking Why? forces us to stand face to face with questions of motivation and impulse. It requires us to confront the reason behind the actions.
In fact, the question offers opportunity wherever it is asked:
- What is the first thing you do in the morning? Why?
- What are the unhealthy habits in your life? Why are they there?
- What worries do you carry? Why is that so?
- What fears do you have? Why do you have them?
- What struggle points do you have in your marriage? Why?
- Do you enjoy your work? Why or why not?
- Are you getting ahead financially? Why not?
- Are you content with your life? Why or why not?
- Are you happy? Why or why not?
With each question, you journey deeper and deeper into your heart.
That’s why the question “Why do I have this?” forms the basis for your best decluttering efforts going forward.
This question—along with Do I need it?—will open up new ideas about what items and habits to keep and what to remove.
And ultimately, isn’t that goal? To remove things entirely from your life that you no longer need… so you can begin living the life that you want.
How do decide about just plain old decorative things in the house? How much is too much? How much looks too sparse?
Too sparse? What does that mean?
“Because we love them and they tell the story of our lives?” This does describe every knick knack in my living room, and it brought me a lot of peace to realize that! Thank you.
You could ask her if she wants it back because you are becoming minimalist. Tell her you dont have room for it in your new life choice. If she doesn’t want it back then you could donate it or discard it.
This is a good question to ask when you’re inspecting your belongings.
Hi,
I’ve been following you for years on your journey and have loved the idea of minimalism, but I never viewed it as something that could fully happen for me. Since I was early in high school, I knew God was calling me to a more simplistic and generous life, but while I lived at home I had parents who encouraged me to hold on to things because I might need them or I shouldn’t get rid of something because it was a gift from someone. Everything became sentimental to me and I felt guilty for owning so much when others had nothing and I didn’t want it all yet I felt guilty for wanting to get rid of it all. I finally decided to take this journey seriously now a few years into adulthood and the progress has been amazing. Your books and tips and encouragement from your family have meant a lot. However, something happened recently and I need some advice. When going through decor, we had decor that were gifts from people – paintings my sister made, paintings I made, stock type pictures as gifts and it became overwhelming. So my husband and I went through and cut them down. My sister knows I gave away her paintings and is upset at the idea of me giving away something she gave to me and she views as giving away a half of her heart to me (mind you, I gave this stuff to my parents to hold on to if they want them and it was when my sister and I weren’t even on speaking terms. She only decided to start talking to me the last few days and then was upset to learn this). Most of what we own has been given to us or is sentimental to someone in some way but it is overburdening. My sister told me to throw it away over donating it because it was meant for me and she’s deeply upset. What would you do in this situation? How do you and your spouse pursue the lives you want for yourselves and deal with offending others along the way? Thank you if you read all of this.
Take a picture of the picture with your phone. It doesn’t take up space but you still have it?
I’m sorry to hear you’re in this awkward situation. All I can think of is explaining that you do appreciate the time and effort that went into the painting, that knowing this is more important to you than the physical painting itself. Unfortunately I can’t think of any way that wouldn’t offend her, aside from maybe telling her about the minimalism journey you’re going on. Best of luck on the situation!
I enjoy giving things away and recycling. I like to throw things out. My favorite thing is to sort old boxes at our local museum. People let me help them clean their cupboards and closets. Then they make a donation to charity. I have 6 T shirts and 3 pairs of jeans. I have 4 warm sweat shirts. My mother was a hoarder. She saved onion peels and empty bottles. She had boxes and boxes of newspapers and magazines. It is your home. You can live the life you want.
As far as gifts received from your sister, the painting, they belong to you; you can do whatever you want with them. At least you did not throw in trash. Maybe you should have discussed it with her first; that way you could explain your new minimalistic lifestyle. Maybe you should have donated them instead of giving to your parents. I can understand your sister’s feelings. Hopefully she will be able to in time put the matter to rest and realize that it’s only stuff and you can’t take this stuff with you when you meet your maker.
I guess I think the idea that someone buying art for me to display indefinitely in my home is preposterous. I would offer it back to her (pretty telling if she doesn’t want it for herself) and if that is a no go go ahead and either donate it if it is nice or trash it (as she requested). Some say take a picture but it is quickly not becoming a positive memory- remember someday you may be sorting your photos to keep or toss as well. She sounds really hurt and she seems to be projecting a lot of hurt and feelings into this personal property. She sounds like she really just would like to stay mad. I pray for her release from all this darkness and for her understanding. I pray for your peace as well- you are about to begin a journey of peace and beautiful spaces for new beginnings. Bless you!
Once someone gives something to you, it is yours to do with whatever you want. Your sister is very immature, sounds like a norm for her, since she has periods of not talking to her family. You have to do what makes you feel better.
Wow, doesn’t this hit the mark with a zing! You wrote this for me! Thank you Joshua!
Agree! Our houses are made up of clothes we inherite, stuff we get and inherit. Birthdays and xmas’s. Easter stuff and different holidays. Not much in my apartment is bought by me because I loved it. I often wonder how it would look like if I could make it all in my spirit without outside influence and put down. Lights, colors, decor…. Utensils and china. It would look so different. People tend to choose what other people are comfortable with. The plates they want to eat on when they come. The food they enjoy. The games they love. The comparesence with their homes. The clothes that do not seperate you from the herd. How boring lives we have!!!! Only a few of us dear to be different. How I envy them their freedom in themselves. How their spirit fly, and their souls sing with laughter. Bless them all!