When decluttering expert Marie Kondo published her ground-breaking book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, hordes of grateful, stuff-encumbered readers around the world seized particularly on her question “Does it spark joy?”
That was the criterion Kondo proposed for deciding whether to keep something. Does an item in your possession give you a little thrill when you hold it in your hands? If so, hang on to it. If not, then So long, mustard-colored cardigan with the leather buttons.
Suddenly, it seemed like everyone who was flirting with the notion of decluttering their homes began talking about joy-sparks. Surely, in Kondo’s simple question was the razor to slice through indecision about what to keep and what to toss when pursuing a simpler lifestyle.
End of story. Or is it?
Let me begin by saying that, to me, any voice calling us to own fewer possessions is a welcome voice.
In America, we consume twice as many material goods as we used to 50 years ago. Over the same period, the size of the average American home has nearly tripled, and today that average home contains about 300,000 items.
Most homes contain more televisions than people. About 25 percent of two-car garages don’t have room to park even one car inside them, and still one out of every 11 American households rents off-site storage—the fastest-growing segment of the commercial real estate industry over the past four decades. Meanwhile, home organization, trying to find places for all our excess belongings, is now an $8 billion industry.
We’re at material overload and it isn’t fun like it looks in the commercials.
We live in a society where families are chronically stressed, tired, and rushed, with our excessive possessions compounding (if not creating) the problems. IKEA chief Steve Howard may have let a secret slip when he said that in the western world we’ve reached “peak home furnishings.”
The de-clutter, de-own movement is rapidly catching on, as evidenced, for example, by the popularity of Tiny Houses and the growth of organizations such as the National Association of Professional Organizers and the National Association of Senior Move Managers.
My family became converts to minimalism in 2008 after I wasted a beautiful Saturday morning cleaning out my garage, and a neighbor, seeing my frustration, made the casual comment “Maybe you don’t need to own all that stuff.” As I surveyed the heap of dusty things piled up in my driveway, out of the corner of my eye I noticed my son playing alone on the swing set in the backyard. And right then I had a life-changing realization:
Excess possessions do not bring extra happiness into life; even worse, they distract us from the things that do!
Today we live in a smaller house with only a third of the possessions we used to have. And we couldn’t be happier now that we have more money, more time, and more energy for the things that matter most.
Along the way, I’ve seen how Kondo’s trademark filter has prompted significant decluttering efforts both here and abroad. I’m thankful for that. Yet I can’t help but bristle at the phrasing because the question “Does it spark joy?” may actually rob tidying up of its fullest potential in our lives.
Specifically, we get three things wrong when we evaluate our possessions only by asking whether they spark joy or not.
1. We place our own happiness above everything else and continue to define it in terms of our possessions. Unfortunately, when the predominant question in our mind is “Does this make me happy?” we routinely fall short of actually realizing our happiness. In fact, recent research points to the biological fact that the best way to discover happiness is to help bring it about in someone else’s life.
2. Kondo’s suggested focus does not cull our consumeristic tendencies. Owning less is great, but wanting less is even better. Once we overcome the pull of consumption in our lives, we are free to pursue other passions. Unfortunately, the question “Does it spark joy?” does little to rewire our thinking in that regard. After all, when we’re standing in the department store, many things we pick up spark joy. That’s why we leave with so many of them in our shopping carts.
3. The filter may improve the peacefulness of our surroundings, but it does little to bend the trajectory of our lives. It rarely causes us to evaluate the motivations within that caused the clutter to build in the first place. And when we do not diagnose the cause of our clutter problem, we are bound to repeat it.
So let me propose an alternative question for us to ask ourselves when we’re making the hold/release call on any particular item in our possession. Rather than asking, “Does it spark joy?” let’s begin asking:
Does it help me fulfill a greater purpose with my life?
As I see it, we should be thinking about not just what we own but why we want to own it. What is our goal in life, anyway? What are we hoping to accomplish?
Sure, some people may only be interested in the pursuit of personal pleasure by acquiring as much stuff as possible, but I believe they represent a small minority. Instead, most of us desire to make a selfless contribution of some kind to a world that’s swelling with needs.
Several years ago, my wife, Kim, and I created a nonprofit called The Hope Effect that is changing orphan care by providing solutions that mimic the family. We would never have pursued this interest of ours if minimalism hadn’t freed up the time and money to do it. I’d still be spending my Saturdays cleaning and organizing. But today our lives are permanently different, and so are the lives of a growing number of parentless children around the world.
Orphan care is not everybody’s passion. But whatever others feel they were put on the planet to do, some of their possessions are either directly or indirectly helping them accomplish it, while others are holding them back. It makes the best sense to keep what aligns with their goal in life and get rid of the rest.
So when you’re holding one of your possessions in your hands, ask yourself, Does it help me fulfill my purpose? Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
Clear away obstacles one by one. Then advance toward your goal.
There’s a big difference between tidying up your home and freeing up your life. Instead of merely sparking some joy within yourself, light a fire in the world.
Katie Geddes says
Love your posts and also love Marie Kondo’s work. For me, her process (which I found after I was already decluttering) and question, “Does it spark joy?” quickly led to a deeper understanding of not wanting unnecessary excess so it did exactly what you suggest it may not do: it led me to no longer crave more and more. Profound. Simple. Life-changing.
S says
Marie Kondo’s book changed my life. It didn’t just help me get rid of items in my home, it inspired me to face personal trauma I’d experienced as a child that had been negatively affecting my life without me even realizing it. While I shed the physical remnants of my pain, I was able to process through the emotional junk I carried. Learning to let go inspired me to lose 70lbs. It had this snowball effect. One little blue book sent me hurdling on this path that has changed my life for the better. And, in changing me, I’ve become a better, more mindful parent. A kinder and more thoughtful friend.
Katie Geddes says
Fantastic S.
Jolene de Kock says
I loved this article.The konmari method has never “sparked joy” with me and actually just frustrated me to the point where I gave up. Decluttering is never the answer but the stepping stone.I feel she is putting far too much emphasis on “the thing” when in fact we should be finding joy in our relationships and our experiences. Moments and memories should “spark joy” not possessions.Owning less and not actually having to declutter has removed all my stress and I often stop and think wow,I have a Saturday to just be….that is pure joy. minimalism has converted me from a taker to a giver.After emptying my home I was able to stock more than one needy family and now I hand out the overload of friends and family as well.Its an awesome feeling to make a difference in more than one persons life in the same day.
Annie says
Totally agree with this!
susan steele says
I knew I wanted to declutter my closet. I had way too many clothing articles I could not possibly wear or enjoy them all.
I thought the rest of my home was pretty minimal.
Her book was light bulb moment for clothing decluttering. I got rid of 75% and am working on Project 333 starting Oct 1st. She really addressed the sunk cost fallacy which made me able to donate $200 dresses.
I think both Marie Kondo and you are helpful but I would never have gotten my closet cleaned out if it wasn’t for her book. It makes so much sense to have all of my clothes fit well, look good and make me feel good (spark joy). Why keep any that doesn’t?
Since then I have sold 11 pieces of excess furniture and gave my kayak to friends with a cottage on the lake ( I live n the city).
Starting with the closet then moving on to other categories has made me not want more. I do not shop, I turn down free things and I keep letting go more and more stuff.
I think there is room for her ideas especially to get started. I also think a lot of people start wanting less after going through a huge “life changing purge”.
Carina says
Fully agree with you Susan. I found the Kondo Spark Joy approach an easy one to grasp, and as as a result, decluttered an enormous amount of stuff very quickly. The process helped me understand “me” better, it made me more decisive and clear about what I loved having around me. And a byproduct is that I’ve pretty much not shopped since (i “decluttered” a year ago) as I have to love something enormously to want to bring it into the tidy, minimalistic home I now love being in. I now have far more time to spend on the things I love doing and creating the memories I’ll take with me to the grave.
If the initial question had been around what the item’s greater purpose was, then I’d have struggled to understand the concept and would still be living in a chaotic cluttered mess!
While the simplistic “spark joy” view isn’t perfect, it moves us in the right direction and gains us the traction to get the right outcome :-)
Heidi says
One more thing to think about. After watching “Hoarders” many times and shocked as to how they can live that way, one thing many of them have said is that they get “joy” from their things. So the question, “Does it spark joy?” may not be the best way to declutter.
susan steele says
Hoarders have a psychiatric illness (OCD and sometimes PTSD) which is a whole different animal than people who just need to declutter, streamline, simplify, downsize etc…
Yes, Konmari method is not for them. They need therapy and are still very difficult to treat.
Mindy says
Based on your writing, I am not so sure as to whether you have read Marie Kondo’s book. She address the habits and philosophy behind the question of “spark joy”.
1) Very often her book is marketed base on the short snippets that have helped a lot of people start on the decluttering process. However, she starts by asking the reader to really thinking about their life and goals before going into the decluttering part of the book. Joy she speaks of is not happiness that you get in one instant when you buy something ( but she also address that too).
2) She addresses the reasons people own and/or hold on to possessions beyond basic necessity. The asking of the question to declutter is a process in which the reader hones the skill needed to deown things, not a short cut. So yes, it can change your thinking.
3) Her process escalates from less personal to more sentimental items so that the skill is built to last. While she does not necessarily advocate minimalism to there point where it’s strictly about number of possessions, you can get down to owning less because you become more mindful of what you own and why you own it. In addition, she also address the “unloading” issue with giving your things to others, which just passes the burden on.
If minimalism is about finding more peace, then I would say the competitiveness of who owns less and who can live on less seem to have added more stress to those who are “not there yet”.
The latter part of your article on thinking about life goals when looking at your possession is exactly what she talks about in the book. Please read the book before deciding her methods are superficial.
Dads Dollars Debts says
This is very true. The fact that items spark joy is similar to holding on to items for sentimental value. The memories are in our minds, not the item.
Freeing up time, money, and space all lead to a less stressful life. I have minimized what I purchase over the last 6 months and it has felt nice not to accumulate things, waste money, and all in all just live more simply.
Heidi says
This is inspiring. The “spark of joy” should not come from objects. Time to get serious about this. Purge is my word for today. But I do think her process is a good way to get organized. I have lots to do but am determined to end this year with less. That will spark joy for me!
JillAnnSarah says
What a great, thought-provoking article. I don’t agree 100%, but that is part of what makes it so great!!! It gives me much food for thought and evaluation of what I believe…. OUT…OUT… OUTSTANDING!!!!
Joshua, your book Simplify was my tipping point to de-clutter. It has been a slow journey … not enough hours in the day.
But just this past weekend, I sat and watched as all of the items I have been collecting in my 2-car garage (since reading the book) get loaded onto a truck… and leave the building! The garage was about 2/3 full! An empty garage, except for cars, a small shelf of garage-type stuff, a small shelf of gardening stuff, a couple brooms and snow shovels, and trash cans…. that sparks joy in me!
There is work left to be done, but the worst is over.
I find Marie’s book helpful with what is left. I find it helpful when I choose colors for my walls… does the color reflect the mood that I want that room (and my home in general) to have? I find it helpful as I replace items in my house. Because of this journey, my ‘style’ has become much simpler, and many of my possessions now feel overwhelming – because of their style. As they are slowly replaced… the replacement must spark joy. I have also recently realized that I have pictures on my wall – beautiful pictures that I love – except they are very melancholy, and I find when I look at them that my mood drops a little. I will be replacing them, because I want as many things as possible in my home to be a balm to the souls of all who enter my home.
So for myself, ALL of the questions have value and serve purpose:
Does it help me fulfill my purpose?
Does it help me craft a lifestyle in which I am able to build relationships and care for others, or might I be able to use my time, money, and energy in better ways?
And for the items I need… do they spark joy?
You both, Joshua and Marie, have been a God-send to me. Answers to prayer. Blessings from above. My life is significantly better (and I’m not done) than before I ‘met’ both of you.
Lel says
“I find Marie’s book helpful with what is left. I find it helpful when I choose colors for my walls…”
Hi! I can relate. When choosing among 3 white blouses, and which one to keep, I ask the question, which of these spark joy – meaning which of these I feel great wearing the most. It helps:)
Kari says
I have found Marie Kondo’s thoughts helpful on my quest to decluttering/mimimalism. If something does not spark joy- it goes. If it does, then it helps me to figure out how to honor it (that comes from Peter Walsh- if it’s something you love, honor it by putting it somewhere special, not under the bed or shoved in a closet). Usually to honor an item, I need to get rid of the clutter on a dresser, coffee table, etc. to make room for it. This leads me to Joshua’s method of minimalism- I can’t honor everything, which item gets that coveted spot?
It’s definitley a system that pulls from many ideas! One of my favorite questions to ask myself? If my house were on fire, would I risk my life to save this??