Many people, when they first hear about minimalism, or as they begin their own personal journey towards it, typically run into this question: What do I do with the sentimental things I’ve collected over the years?
It is a question I am asked often. And an important one.
Here is my advice:
1. Remember that less is different than none.
No one is saying that you have to get rid of everything you have an emotional attachment to—but I do think you will find benefit in owning less.
Here’s what I mean by that: When my wife’s grandmother passed away a number of years ago, she came home with a small cardboard box of things collected from her grandmother’s apartment—items that reminded her of her beloved grandma. We then promptly put that cardboard box in the basement and would only notice it when we were cleaning up the basement—which rarely happened.
After we found minimalism and began getting rid of the stuff we didn’t need, we eventually ran into this cardboard box in the basement. When we did, my wife asked herself, “Okay, what am I going to do here?”
Eventually, she decided she would keep three things from the box, the three things that “most represented her grandmother.” She kept a candy dish. She kept a lapel pin, and she kept a Bible. The candy dish is now in our living room, and we see it every single day. The pin, she put on one of her coats, and she wears it occasionally. The Bible, she put in her nightstand next to her bed.
And now, because we own fewer things, they have brought a greater sense of value to that relationship. These items, now being used, serve as a more faithful reminder to us of her grandmother and her influence on Kim’s life. Less became better than more. This is often the case with sentimental belongings.
2. Your memories do not exist in the item.
The memories we cherish exist in our minds, they exist in our hearts and our souls, not in physical objects.
In our heart is where the memories live, where the influence of the person resides, or the accomplishment surrounding an event takes root. When we remove an item, we think sometimes we’re removing the memory—but we aren’t. The memories remain.
You may find it helpful to take a picture of the item before you get rid of it, just so you can look back and prompt that memory. But removing the item is not going to remove the memories.
3. Our emotional attachment to things can actually provide motivation for owning less.
Think of the sentimental things, and the things you have an emotional attachment to. They typically represent one of three things: 1) They represent an important relationship; 2) They represent an important accomplishment; or 3) They represent an important experience… so you bought the t-shirt to bring home with you.
These, you see, are the activities that add meaning, and purpose, and significance to our lives. Our relationships, our accomplishments, and our experiences. This is where the value of life resides.
But if all the things we’ve accumulated over the years are keeping us from relationships, accomplishments, experiences, then we should get reduce the number of things we own. Remove the burdens that are holding us back from those experiences, so we can enjoy even more of the things that mean the most to us.
Lastly, keep in mind, if you are beginning on your path to minimalism, and sentimental things is where you’re starting, you are going to have a hard time.
Let’s start easy, okay? Get rid of some of the things you know you don’t need. Go through your closet. Or go through your kitchen.
Begin removing some of the possessions you know don’t need to be a part of our life anymore. Remove those, and as you do, you’ll find increased motivation to own less. You’ll learn the lessons that will equip you perfectly for when you do get to these sentimental things—and you’ll be far more equipped to handle them effectively when you do.
Holly says
About 5 years ago my mom gave me some childhood school work & books of mine. I was in my 40’s! I thought, this would be cool to look through. I put the packages in the basement and haven’t looked at them once. Honestly is anyone going to want to go thru them after I’ve passed on? This article reminded me of those items and a few more childhood “treasures”. I think I’ll keep one special item and just recycle/toss the rest. They are literally just sitting there in the basement doing nothing.
Becky says
This is a great article, as I think this is one of the hardest things for me to do. I have a lot of things from my Grandmother, Great Aunt that I know I need to let go of but just don’t know where to start.
Gina Bisaillon says
The queen of decluttering herself – Marie Kondo – also recommends dealing with sentimental stuff last. I am at that stage now, and I have found a solution thanks to my bookbinding training. I am making an album with each page representing either a person, an event or a place. It will be a thick book due to my long, eclectic life, but it will be the only thing that my relatives will have to deal with when I die.
Wanda says
These comments from Joshua and the readers are so meant for me. I am a sentimental “fool”! My grandparents have all passed and my Mom so I have many items in my keeping. I am purging, though, and recently gave a pressback chair of my Grandmother’s to my cousin whose brother will appreciate it rather than to a yard sale. My approach is to give items to family or friends who will value these things and then I feel good about releasing them; they have gone to good homes.
Mike Wanek says
The emotional attachments are the hardest to deal with. When that mountain is scaled the rest is much much easier. Keep on getting free.?
Heather says
5% kids toys
20% general clutter
75% sentiMENTAL
Not an easy journey, but worth every step!
Happy Annie says
Is there someone else in your family (kids, siblings, cousins?) that could use any of these items or would love to have them? If so, you could keep them in the family without the guilt! :) I’ve done that with some of the things I have inherited.
PG says
Something I feel is very helpful is to take a picture of the item before letting it go. Often we are afraid of losing the memory that goes with that item so taking a picture helps me. I keep them on my phone/tablet.
Michelle Roberts says
I take pictures of things that mean a lot to me but I don’t need or have the room for. Then I have a scrapbook that I put the pictures in with notes of the item.
Janina says
The biggest struggle I have with sentimental items are the family heirlooms that date back to the mid 1860s. They are part of our history and not something I am attached to by a personal memory, so I am not sure how to determine which things to keep and which to let go (without feeling guilty).
Happy Annie says
Is there someone else in your family (kids, siblings, cousins?) that could use any of these items or would love to have them? If so, you could keep them in the family without the guilt! :) I’ve done that with some of the things I have inherited.
Bearina Grover says
Be careful,I heard hoarding runs in families.
Tina Burns says
Perhaps pass some of those on to other members of the family as an archive of sorts. That’s what we’re doing with important family history and records. :)
Lynnied says
I’m going through the same thing. I’m the last relative from both sides of my family and my sibling has passed on & I have no children. Will,have to do some research on the antiques to see if I can sell,them. Unfortunately that’s how my life has turned out.
Andrea Lewis says
Donate or ask if they can be displayed at a museum. I love seeing everyday things at the museum.